We have spent some extra money this week. Pretty much the entire lot of purchases were not necessary. Emotional spending.
Yesterday, we were talking about new living room furniture. We took the slipcovers off to wash them, and WOW, our couches were bad. I forgot to take pictures before we put the slipcovers back on, but the material on the cushions is DESTROYED. Everytime you sit down, you feel it rip. The attached backs are only partially attached. Threadbare doesn't even describe them. And because the slip covers are a chocolate brown, the dye from them has rubbed off over time onto the material, which makes them look that much worse.
If we hadn't been in grubby clothes at the moment, I think we would have bought new furniture.
I think for us right now....we have hit a wall of existence. That is all we are right now. Existing. We meet the minimum qualification for things...food on the table, roof over our head, clothes on our back....but we don't LIVE. Our house is not a place we come HOME to. All we see is the old, falling apart CRAP. We have been together almost 15 years....and our stuff has been around just as long. It is worn and done....and we can't do much about it.
Using the current situation....we don't see any of this changing in the next 5 years. Even 7 years.
We are in constant CRISIS mode. We need to get into a different mode. We can't just live to fix the next problem. It is wearing us down.
Will buying new furniture fix the problem....nope. Will it make it easier to live with the problem....maybe.
All I know is that while I do believe in Dave Ramsey's idea of "Live like no other so you can live like no other," that will only work if it is for a finite period of time. If you know there is something better at the end of the tunnel and that tunnel will take 3 years to get out of...you can deal with it. But when that tunnel is so long and dark and filled with spooky stuff....you can't stay there indefinitely...you will lose your mind.
So that is where we are at. We have identified part of the problem....now it is finding a reasonable fix.
Showing posts with label Bummed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bummed. Show all posts
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
A Bug In My Margarita
Have you heard this song from Alan Jackson? If not...here ya go, with lyrics:
My favorite verse:
He said the rain won't leave
And the pain won't ease
And the sun don't wanna shine
And there's something in the bottom of this drink I just got
And it don't look like a worm to me
*******
Yesterday.....we got a call from camp that Sassy got hit in the mouth with a swing (she was pushing another kid, and must have been standing too close). And she broke off half her front tooth. Her beautiful PERMANENT tooth.
Brought her to the dentist who said that it didn't break over the nerve, but it was close. They were able to bond the tooth, and she looks good as new. She said it didn't hurt too much, and she was very brave.
Of course, even with all our medical and dental bills, we are still $338 from our deductible. Most of our bills are co-pays that don't count toward the deductible, and the stuff that does count is all Bossy. The rest of us haven't racked up bills to hit the deductible.
So, we will now owe another $318 to the dentist.
I really do want to cry. Say what you will about how we choose to spend our money....we really can't cut a break. I am having one of those....We are never going to get out of this moments.
I said a long time ago that I wanted to be debt free, minus the house, by my 40th birthday. That is roughly 3 yrs, 9 months. Per this calculator, using rough numbers,
Laid out like that....it seems totally do-able. However, that is assuming no new general debt. And it doesn't account for the new medical debt. And Murphy needs to leave!!!!!!!
Plus, we haven't gotten to the car saga yet....oh, and a few work drama things...because they didn't want to be left out.
I read ALOT of blogs. But there are few that I read that have THIS much happen. We just can't cut a break.
There's A Bug in my Margarita!!!!!
My favorite verse:
He said the rain won't leave
And the pain won't ease
And the sun don't wanna shine
And there's something in the bottom of this drink I just got
And it don't look like a worm to me
*******
Yesterday.....we got a call from camp that Sassy got hit in the mouth with a swing (she was pushing another kid, and must have been standing too close). And she broke off half her front tooth. Her beautiful PERMANENT tooth.
Brought her to the dentist who said that it didn't break over the nerve, but it was close. They were able to bond the tooth, and she looks good as new. She said it didn't hurt too much, and she was very brave.
Of course, even with all our medical and dental bills, we are still $338 from our deductible. Most of our bills are co-pays that don't count toward the deductible, and the stuff that does count is all Bossy. The rest of us haven't racked up bills to hit the deductible.
So, we will now owe another $318 to the dentist.
I really do want to cry. Say what you will about how we choose to spend our money....we really can't cut a break. I am having one of those....We are never going to get out of this moments.
I said a long time ago that I wanted to be debt free, minus the house, by my 40th birthday. That is roughly 3 yrs, 9 months. Per this calculator, using rough numbers,
When will you be debt free?
| Your plan summary | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| • | If you pay $1,595.26 a month, it will take you 3 years and 9 months to pay off your credit cards. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| • | Based on your current combined balance of $64,520.00, you will pay a total of $7,306.57 in interest. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Here's what to do first | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Strategy: Pay as much as your budget allows to the credit card with the highest interest rate, and pay the minimum to your lower rate cards. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Laid out like that....it seems totally do-able. However, that is assuming no new general debt. And it doesn't account for the new medical debt. And Murphy needs to leave!!!!!!!
Plus, we haven't gotten to the car saga yet....oh, and a few work drama things...because they didn't want to be left out.
I read ALOT of blogs. But there are few that I read that have THIS much happen. We just can't cut a break.
There's A Bug in my Margarita!!!!!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Beating away the financial blahs
I already know where and why these feelings are creeping in. But there are here....so now I have to deal with them. It is a combination of my meds being a little off, plus having a night out and spending money, and.....I am leaving for a few days to visit a friend.
I never claimed to be Gazelle intense. And while I love to read about others who are....it does frustrate me that we can't/won't do that. I just hate to adjust our current totals and have to adjust them UP.
I am frustrated that no matter what I do, the "master" plan doesn't work. There is ALWAYS a repair that ends up being way higher than what we have set aside. The cars...I question if we should have gotten rid of them awhile ago. The order of doing things seems to be in a constant state of change.
This year has been rough. But honestly...every year is rough. 2007 was the death of our twins, along with a huge oil leak. 2008 was my miscarriage and having to replace the roof. 2009 was the death of my father-in-law, car issues, and a myriad of other things. 2010...who knows. And now....2011....marriage issues, the pool, car issues.....now having to fix Bossy's room.....
Apparently....I just suck at this getting out of debt thing. G-man made a comment the other night that really upset me....."debt is just a way of life." That spoke VOLUMES to me. While he wants to be out of debt, and is participating more in the discussions....he isn't getting it yet that this noose around our neck is just weighing down our LIFE.
Now that our medical waiver is gone...my student loan is going up....we are unable to lower our interest rates without either opening another credit card, or maybe a new Lending Club loan....it is time to revisit the budget AGAIN...and figure this out.
I know I am not getting a raise at work (state budget cuts). I know that G-man is willing to work more overtime, when it is available....but if it isn't available....there isn't much we can do. I know that we are saving for Christmas, car stuff, irregular expenses.....and we are doing the best we can.
I am just frustrated that others are pulling way ahead, and we are treading water.
So my two small things for the day to make me financially feel better are 1) continue to pack up yard sale leftovers to sell at consignment (we did a trial run on Friday, and we will probably get about what we were asking at the yard sale), and 2) I bought some bulk coupons for shampoo, which with sales...will come out to about $1 a bottle.
Pity party over.
I never claimed to be Gazelle intense. And while I love to read about others who are....it does frustrate me that we can't/won't do that. I just hate to adjust our current totals and have to adjust them UP.
I am frustrated that no matter what I do, the "master" plan doesn't work. There is ALWAYS a repair that ends up being way higher than what we have set aside. The cars...I question if we should have gotten rid of them awhile ago. The order of doing things seems to be in a constant state of change.
This year has been rough. But honestly...every year is rough. 2007 was the death of our twins, along with a huge oil leak. 2008 was my miscarriage and having to replace the roof. 2009 was the death of my father-in-law, car issues, and a myriad of other things. 2010...who knows. And now....2011....marriage issues, the pool, car issues.....now having to fix Bossy's room.....
Apparently....I just suck at this getting out of debt thing. G-man made a comment the other night that really upset me....."debt is just a way of life." That spoke VOLUMES to me. While he wants to be out of debt, and is participating more in the discussions....he isn't getting it yet that this noose around our neck is just weighing down our LIFE.
Now that our medical waiver is gone...my student loan is going up....we are unable to lower our interest rates without either opening another credit card, or maybe a new Lending Club loan....it is time to revisit the budget AGAIN...and figure this out.
I know I am not getting a raise at work (state budget cuts). I know that G-man is willing to work more overtime, when it is available....but if it isn't available....there isn't much we can do. I know that we are saving for Christmas, car stuff, irregular expenses.....and we are doing the best we can.
I am just frustrated that others are pulling way ahead, and we are treading water.
So my two small things for the day to make me financially feel better are 1) continue to pack up yard sale leftovers to sell at consignment (we did a trial run on Friday, and we will probably get about what we were asking at the yard sale), and 2) I bought some bulk coupons for shampoo, which with sales...will come out to about $1 a bottle.
Pity party over.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Bummin' hard today
Frustrated doesn't even begin to cover my feelings right now.
The paycheck/OT/direct deposit mess created it's own problems. I am slowing figuring all of that out. But it is taking alot of concentration. G-man and I talked about it last night, and all he said was "sorry." He still doesn't get the anxiety this all causes for me.
I had REALLY thought we would be below 60k debt by my blogiversary. But that wasn't accounting for the almost $700 it was going to take to fix the pool. All of the OT that G-man had and will have in the coming weeks was all supposed to go to DEBT, not the pool!
Gas prices are finally coming down (a little). But the damage is done. We have been paying about $600 a month for gas. That is almost $200 more than the original budget. A few months of that....and it adds up.
It seems that our therapists have changed their billing cycle, and are only billing to insurance monthly. So it takes almost 2 months from the time we write the check before we get reimbursed. Again, it causes some problems when you are paying almost $400 a month in co-pays.
I should be glad that we aren't using our credit cards for everyday purchases. The rise in the card balances in the recent weeks is from the pool, and 1) the OT screw up, thus not having the money to pay it off right away, and 2) having to wait for payday when the OT was worked almost a month ago (G-man's payroll is offset by 2 weeks). The dental bills...it happens. Those don't stress me out other than I just hate that our dental coverage stinks.
I am failing to understand how we redid the mortgage, which freed up $200 a month, paid off the car, paid off one student loan.....and we are where we are. I am bummed. I am not sure why this is SO hard. I expected it to be hard, but this is insane. I feel like I am constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul. I really don't like missing a goal....but I am finding it hard to see how we are going to pay $5000 in the next 6-7 weeks.
*sniff*
The paycheck/OT/direct deposit mess created it's own problems. I am slowing figuring all of that out. But it is taking alot of concentration. G-man and I talked about it last night, and all he said was "sorry." He still doesn't get the anxiety this all causes for me.
I had REALLY thought we would be below 60k debt by my blogiversary. But that wasn't accounting for the almost $700 it was going to take to fix the pool. All of the OT that G-man had and will have in the coming weeks was all supposed to go to DEBT, not the pool!
Gas prices are finally coming down (a little). But the damage is done. We have been paying about $600 a month for gas. That is almost $200 more than the original budget. A few months of that....and it adds up.
It seems that our therapists have changed their billing cycle, and are only billing to insurance monthly. So it takes almost 2 months from the time we write the check before we get reimbursed. Again, it causes some problems when you are paying almost $400 a month in co-pays.
I should be glad that we aren't using our credit cards for everyday purchases. The rise in the card balances in the recent weeks is from the pool, and 1) the OT screw up, thus not having the money to pay it off right away, and 2) having to wait for payday when the OT was worked almost a month ago (G-man's payroll is offset by 2 weeks). The dental bills...it happens. Those don't stress me out other than I just hate that our dental coverage stinks.
I am failing to understand how we redid the mortgage, which freed up $200 a month, paid off the car, paid off one student loan.....and we are where we are. I am bummed. I am not sure why this is SO hard. I expected it to be hard, but this is insane. I feel like I am constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul. I really don't like missing a goal....but I am finding it hard to see how we are going to pay $5000 in the next 6-7 weeks.
*sniff*
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
It must be sympathy pains....
I am convinced that household appliances and goods have a secret life. It is almost like the Freemasons....they have rings and meetings, and rituals that are so secretive that the lay person doesn't know what they are. But they exist. How do I know? Because as soon as one of them breaks down....they all start to break down.
I watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls over the weekend (I was sick in bed with Strep throat again). And one line from the movie (without spoilers for you have not seen it yet) was something like "their collective conscienceness is more powerful than the individual."
I can deal with one or two things needing to be replaced...but we are now starting to get into more coin than anticipated. And while we have our emergency fund, and still have $1,000 from our refi money that is sitting untouched.....plus a whole lot of overtime coming....I really wasn't planning on spending all of that just replacing stuff!! I had dreams of actually repaying debt.
I mentioned that our pool liner needs to be replaced. We researched it, and decided that this is not a DIY job for us. We have found a place that we can get the liner for $158 (and that is the thicker lining, and free shipping!!), but instillation will be about $450, plus chemicals and water. And that is if we are lucky. If there is a problem with the interior of the walls of pool once they remove the liner....that means $$$$$.
Now our oven has decided to get in on the act. A few days ago, it decided to stop warming properly. G-man looked at it and the bottom element isn't working right. We have already replaced that once, and if that is all it is....then we will be darn happy. If it turns out to be the thermostat, then we are screwed. Our elderly stove...well, they just don't make parts for it anymore. The thermostat was discontinued, and we can't find one that would work. Thus....the range would have to be replaced.
And the refrigerator....it doesn't want to be left out. The crisper drawers have decided to go wanky, and freeze anything that is in it. We tried adjusting the temp...but then the body of the fridge isn't cold enough.....and it is still freezing stuff in the crisper. Right now we are just not using the crispers....but it could be signs that a new fridge will be in our future.
I shouldn't complain TOO much.....the manuals for the oven and for the fridge indicate that they were purchased in 1992....so they have lived a long life. But do they have to die together....like an old married couple? ETA: If we escape this with a relatively inexpensive fix, we have already decided to start saving for new appliances.....so don't tell me to do it!
Pool....oven.....fridge.....really????
ETA, 1:15pm - The oven is fixed! G-man found a burnt wire and was able to fix it!! YIPPEE! But now I guess I have to start saving for when it really goes ka-put.
I watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls over the weekend (I was sick in bed with Strep throat again). And one line from the movie (without spoilers for you have not seen it yet) was something like "their collective conscienceness is more powerful than the individual."
I can deal with one or two things needing to be replaced...but we are now starting to get into more coin than anticipated. And while we have our emergency fund, and still have $1,000 from our refi money that is sitting untouched.....plus a whole lot of overtime coming....I really wasn't planning on spending all of that just replacing stuff!! I had dreams of actually repaying debt.
I mentioned that our pool liner needs to be replaced. We researched it, and decided that this is not a DIY job for us. We have found a place that we can get the liner for $158 (and that is the thicker lining, and free shipping!!), but instillation will be about $450, plus chemicals and water. And that is if we are lucky. If there is a problem with the interior of the walls of pool once they remove the liner....that means $$$$$.
Now our oven has decided to get in on the act. A few days ago, it decided to stop warming properly. G-man looked at it and the bottom element isn't working right. We have already replaced that once, and if that is all it is....then we will be darn happy. If it turns out to be the thermostat, then we are screwed. Our elderly stove...well, they just don't make parts for it anymore. The thermostat was discontinued, and we can't find one that would work. Thus....the range would have to be replaced.
And the refrigerator....it doesn't want to be left out. The crisper drawers have decided to go wanky, and freeze anything that is in it. We tried adjusting the temp...but then the body of the fridge isn't cold enough.....and it is still freezing stuff in the crisper. Right now we are just not using the crispers....but it could be signs that a new fridge will be in our future.
I shouldn't complain TOO much.....the manuals for the oven and for the fridge indicate that they were purchased in 1992....so they have lived a long life. But do they have to die together....like an old married couple? ETA: If we escape this with a relatively inexpensive fix, we have already decided to start saving for new appliances.....so don't tell me to do it!
Pool....oven.....fridge.....really????
ETA, 1:15pm - The oven is fixed! G-man found a burnt wire and was able to fix it!! YIPPEE! But now I guess I have to start saving for when it really goes ka-put.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
How observant are you?
Notice anything? I will give ya a minute.
*waiting patiently*
Ah yes....our debt totals. HUGE backward slide.
This is due to putting $2,000 on the CC because of G-man's car. We WERE close to have paying off $10,000 before our lives were turned upside down. We have probably added close to $1000 to our cards from everything....plus the car.....
Bummed doesn't cover it. Sad....angry....those are closer.
With the oil bill going up, gas prices going up.....knowing that my student loan will go up in October. I am SCARED. I know it will work out. I know that adjustments will be made. But I just know where we were 2 years ago....and feel like we are only a step away from that.
I am just trying to take it one thing at a time....but failing miserably. All I see is EVERYTHING coming at me.
This is sooooo not the way it was supposed to be.
*waiting patiently*
Ah yes....our debt totals. HUGE backward slide.
This is due to putting $2,000 on the CC because of G-man's car. We WERE close to have paying off $10,000 before our lives were turned upside down. We have probably added close to $1000 to our cards from everything....plus the car.....
Bummed doesn't cover it. Sad....angry....those are closer.
With the oil bill going up, gas prices going up.....knowing that my student loan will go up in October. I am SCARED. I know it will work out. I know that adjustments will be made. But I just know where we were 2 years ago....and feel like we are only a step away from that.
I am just trying to take it one thing at a time....but failing miserably. All I see is EVERYTHING coming at me.
This is sooooo not the way it was supposed to be.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Swagbucks Reset
I know many of you use Swagbucks as a way of earning free stuff. I do too!
I got this idea how cool it would be to buy a dining room set using JUST Swagbucks. I know that it would take forever and a day, but it was a long term goal. The plan was to exchange Swagbucks for the $5 PayPal cards, and when I had enough....buy this set.
Well, I still have this idea.....albeit not the greatest idea given current circumstances. But I have to start over. I had about $45 in my PayPal account....and I used it in a panic during the early stages of my mess. Is it the worst thing in the world.....nope. Am I annoyed.....not really. It is what it is.
So I will start again. I haven't been on the computer much lately, but I am starting to get back to things. And Swagbucks is included in that. Today is Mega Swagbucks day, so maybe I will luck out and hit some big money!!!
I got this idea how cool it would be to buy a dining room set using JUST Swagbucks. I know that it would take forever and a day, but it was a long term goal. The plan was to exchange Swagbucks for the $5 PayPal cards, and when I had enough....buy this set.
Well, I still have this idea.....albeit not the greatest idea given current circumstances. But I have to start over. I had about $45 in my PayPal account....and I used it in a panic during the early stages of my mess. Is it the worst thing in the world.....nope. Am I annoyed.....not really. It is what it is.
So I will start again. I haven't been on the computer much lately, but I am starting to get back to things. And Swagbucks is included in that. Today is Mega Swagbucks day, so maybe I will luck out and hit some big money!!!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Saved $500....bummer
Wait Mysti....you saved $500 dollars! That is awesome...why aren't you excited??? Why dear bloggy friends...I am so glad you asked!
G-man has a business trip in a few weeks. At 4:30pm yesterday, this trip was "changed" to a different class and location. His new exotic local....Vegas Baby!!! And of course my little mind wheels started a-turning.
Called my travel agent friend to find out about flights. Was thinking about which grandparent would get the HONOR of staying with my beautiful children. He would be in class all day, which would give me all day to myself. Sit by the pool, window shop. The hotel would be on the company dime, as would his flight and food. So it would just be my stuff we would have to pay for.
The class is 3 days, plus 2 days travel. This is gonna be great!!!
Until....
It all changed by 5:00pm. He was back to the first class. Nowhere interesting. There went my vacation.
Yeah, we really didn't have the money for me to go anyway, but a mini vacay with my husband....sans children...that was too good to pass up. The divorce rate is 50% for an average couple....it goes up to like 80% when you add in the stressors of having a special needs child. Couple this with the crazy schedule we work, no family near by, financial stress.....sometimes you have to take care of your marriage.
Oh well. Maybe another time.
G-man has a business trip in a few weeks. At 4:30pm yesterday, this trip was "changed" to a different class and location. His new exotic local....Vegas Baby!!! And of course my little mind wheels started a-turning.
Called my travel agent friend to find out about flights. Was thinking about which grandparent would get the HONOR of staying with my beautiful children. He would be in class all day, which would give me all day to myself. Sit by the pool, window shop. The hotel would be on the company dime, as would his flight and food. So it would just be my stuff we would have to pay for.
The class is 3 days, plus 2 days travel. This is gonna be great!!!
Until....
It all changed by 5:00pm. He was back to the first class. Nowhere interesting. There went my vacation.
Yeah, we really didn't have the money for me to go anyway, but a mini vacay with my husband....sans children...that was too good to pass up. The divorce rate is 50% for an average couple....it goes up to like 80% when you add in the stressors of having a special needs child. Couple this with the crazy schedule we work, no family near by, financial stress.....sometimes you have to take care of your marriage.
Oh well. Maybe another time.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Realizing the limitations
I knew getting out of debt would be hard. I understand Dave Ramsey's mantra. But realizing what you really can and can't do....that is hard. I mentioned the other day formulating a plan for things. Putting it on paper, making a storyboard. Knowing the costs before proceeding. All good and well. It is realizing that these dreams are just that....dreams.
Home improvement. That is the hidden cost of owning a home. There is always something to be done. Some it is needed....some of it is wanted. G-man and I spent some time this afternoon discussing it. And while there are some cosmetic changes I am itching to do....the ole funds just won't support it. We tried breaking the projects into smaller chunks, with the idea of doing it in stages. Nope. Need has to win out over want.
I wanted to make over this alcove area. Paint, new bookcase, new chair, light, and area rug. Found a chair we both love. Talked about the paint. The rest would wait. Until we really started talking about what we needed to do.
The main bathroom has several areas that need to be repaired.
The driveway needs to be resealed.
The fence needs to be washed and stained.
Restaining the deck, mulch and a new solar cover for the pool (ours ripped last year. The bathroom makeover of "just paint and a new floor." Replacing the window in the kitchen that is has the pane cracked (can't just replace the pane....the whole window needs to be replaced). The glass that is cracked on the window in the dining room. Replacing the fence with vinyl. All of this is now officially on hiatus.
The kitchen table needs to be replaced. The couches aren't too hot either. Yeah....no.
In the past, I would say that we would have easily put 2-3k on our CC doing these "necessary" things. But I won't do it now. It is easy to say I won't do it....it is hard to accept that we can't.
The reality of it is, we had to pick the projects that if they aren't done, they will cause problems later. The windows were in the running....but after discussing that they have been like this for a long time, they got bumped. The fence replacement was heavily discussed as well.
So, the bathroom repairs will happen: fix the floor where the linoleum is peeling and letting water into the subfloor, repairing the rotted drywall by the tub. fixing the window so it can open again, thus letting out some of the heat in the house during the summer (we have window a/c).
The driveway will be resealed to prevent cracking.
And the fence will be washed and restained. The bare wood will start rotting if we don't.
None of these projects are exciting. None of them will give you that wow factor. None of them are fun to plan. But between gift cards, cash from selling stuff, and little bits here and there....we can do them without using the CC.
Good bye alcove project. Good bye bathroom makeover. Hopefully we can revisit you eventually.
Home improvement. That is the hidden cost of owning a home. There is always something to be done. Some it is needed....some of it is wanted. G-man and I spent some time this afternoon discussing it. And while there are some cosmetic changes I am itching to do....the ole funds just won't support it. We tried breaking the projects into smaller chunks, with the idea of doing it in stages. Nope. Need has to win out over want.
I wanted to make over this alcove area. Paint, new bookcase, new chair, light, and area rug. Found a chair we both love. Talked about the paint. The rest would wait. Until we really started talking about what we needed to do.
The main bathroom has several areas that need to be repaired.
The driveway needs to be resealed.
The fence needs to be washed and stained.
Restaining the deck, mulch and a new solar cover for the pool (ours ripped last year. The bathroom makeover of "just paint and a new floor." Replacing the window in the kitchen that is has the pane cracked (can't just replace the pane....the whole window needs to be replaced). The glass that is cracked on the window in the dining room. Replacing the fence with vinyl. All of this is now officially on hiatus.
The kitchen table needs to be replaced. The couches aren't too hot either. Yeah....no.
In the past, I would say that we would have easily put 2-3k on our CC doing these "necessary" things. But I won't do it now. It is easy to say I won't do it....it is hard to accept that we can't.
The reality of it is, we had to pick the projects that if they aren't done, they will cause problems later. The windows were in the running....but after discussing that they have been like this for a long time, they got bumped. The fence replacement was heavily discussed as well.
So, the bathroom repairs will happen: fix the floor where the linoleum is peeling and letting water into the subfloor, repairing the rotted drywall by the tub. fixing the window so it can open again, thus letting out some of the heat in the house during the summer (we have window a/c).
The driveway will be resealed to prevent cracking.
And the fence will be washed and restained. The bare wood will start rotting if we don't.
None of these projects are exciting. None of them will give you that wow factor. None of them are fun to plan. But between gift cards, cash from selling stuff, and little bits here and there....we can do them without using the CC.
Good bye alcove project. Good bye bathroom makeover. Hopefully we can revisit you eventually.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Fun with Excel
Jeff (of the infamous, Melissa and Jeff) suggested I take a 30 min walk when G-man comes home, just to clear my head. See the above schedule to see why this doesn't happen.
Blue is G-man's work schedule (dark blue is driving). Pink is my work schedule. And orange is when G-man is home. Green is sleep.
We see Daddy for about 10 min in the morning before he leaves for work. And then we don't see him again for almost 24 hrs. He is home in the afternoon for a few hrs between jobs....while I am at work. He leaves...then I get home, and shortly after...the wee people come home.
Weekends...he works 8am-4pm, then 6pm-10pm. I am on my own. I am on my own every night (except Tuesday and Friday night). I do homework, and showers, and errands, and medical, and calls, and etc....on my own.
G-man started working 2 jobs....SEVEN years ago. We both worked 2 jobs before the kids (and I was in graduate school) to pay off some debt and save for our fertility treatments. We stopped the second job for about a year before the kids....then when they were born, he went back....just for now.
Here we are 7 yrs later. No end of the second job in sight. I never see my husband. My kids never see their father. We have almost no family time.
Friday is the only day we both have off, and that is spent playing catch-up from the week.
Our debt has consumed us. It has consumed our time and energy. And we have nothing to show for it.
Close to hitting rock bottom
I am at work (Shhhhhhh), but I needed to get my thoughts down so I can actually get something done. I am having a mild anxiety attack over all of this, and need to calm myself. Our financial situation is taking its toll on everything in our life. I truly didn’t realize it until this morning, as I was attempting to get ready for work.
I wear contact lenses – the 2 week disposable kind. Went to the eye doctor in early September for my annual check up. I was on my last pair of contacts and needed to order more. Well, that wasn’t in the budget. I figured I would wait until December when we each get paid 3x to order new ones, so I have been wearing my glasses since then. I noticed now that I am not “getting ready” for work the way I used to. I used to get up earlier than the kids to take my shower….now I rush in to the bathroom in the 15 minutes between when Bossy Boy leaves for school, and Sassy Girl needs to leave. I walk her to the bus stop, wet hair…no make-up…glasses. My clothes have gone from reasonably cute for work to whatever I grab first.
I have been on Weight Watchers since the first of this year. I lost 23 lbs in 4 months, and in the 6 months since, I have lost maybe another 5 lbs. I know I have gained a few pounds in the past month. Not watching what I eat as carefully….and my old standby clothes are too big, but that is what I tend to grab because it is familiar. I am paying $43 a month for this, and have been tempted to quit….but what is my personal self-esteem worth??? Is taking care of myself worth $43 a month? Aren’t I worth $43 a month? But can I do it on my own……
Not caring about my personal appearance is not good.
My house…is a mess. I used to be pretty organized. Now there are piles. EVERYWHERE. I am not losing stuff, but I can’t catch up. I went to grab my coat this morning and looked at the pile of stuff on the bottom of the closet. *sigh*
Grabbed my keys…and looked at the pile of stuff on the counter. Never mind the baskets of laundry that need to get put away….and the baskets that need to be done. And the piles of clothes strewn everywhere else. My sink is full of dishes. (No dishwasher) I haven’t been making the bed. I haven’t been doing anything.
My patience with the kids is lower than usual. Bossy Boy is Autistic, and is in a very trying stage. He is taking all my energy that I have left. I am fighting with the school over stuff. He is struggling; I am struggling to help him.
I am convinced that our financial situation is the root cause of all of this chaos. When I was happily in denial about how bad it all was….things were better around me. Now that I am trying to fix this major problem, it is zapping me of all my energy. We aren’t gaining traction with anything. We are more or less in a stand still.
This has to change. I am considering bankruptcy. I can’t believe I am actually thinking about this……but I don’t know how to make this work. Or at least we need to talk to a debt consolidation attorney. Something.
We are beyond hard work and determination getting us through. The money isn’t there. It just isn’t. One could argue about the car…..that isn’t it. We sell the car….buy a beater….and still will have a car payment. And due to G-man’s commute….the beater won’t last long.
Cable….unless you have an Autistic child, you won’t understand. We can’t get rid of it. It will upset his world too much.
I just want to cry.
I wear contact lenses – the 2 week disposable kind. Went to the eye doctor in early September for my annual check up. I was on my last pair of contacts and needed to order more. Well, that wasn’t in the budget. I figured I would wait until December when we each get paid 3x to order new ones, so I have been wearing my glasses since then. I noticed now that I am not “getting ready” for work the way I used to. I used to get up earlier than the kids to take my shower….now I rush in to the bathroom in the 15 minutes between when Bossy Boy leaves for school, and Sassy Girl needs to leave. I walk her to the bus stop, wet hair…no make-up…glasses. My clothes have gone from reasonably cute for work to whatever I grab first.
I have been on Weight Watchers since the first of this year. I lost 23 lbs in 4 months, and in the 6 months since, I have lost maybe another 5 lbs. I know I have gained a few pounds in the past month. Not watching what I eat as carefully….and my old standby clothes are too big, but that is what I tend to grab because it is familiar. I am paying $43 a month for this, and have been tempted to quit….but what is my personal self-esteem worth??? Is taking care of myself worth $43 a month? Aren’t I worth $43 a month? But can I do it on my own……
Not caring about my personal appearance is not good.
My house…is a mess. I used to be pretty organized. Now there are piles. EVERYWHERE. I am not losing stuff, but I can’t catch up. I went to grab my coat this morning and looked at the pile of stuff on the bottom of the closet. *sigh*
Grabbed my keys…and looked at the pile of stuff on the counter. Never mind the baskets of laundry that need to get put away….and the baskets that need to be done. And the piles of clothes strewn everywhere else. My sink is full of dishes. (No dishwasher) I haven’t been making the bed. I haven’t been doing anything.
My patience with the kids is lower than usual. Bossy Boy is Autistic, and is in a very trying stage. He is taking all my energy that I have left. I am fighting with the school over stuff. He is struggling; I am struggling to help him.
I am convinced that our financial situation is the root cause of all of this chaos. When I was happily in denial about how bad it all was….things were better around me. Now that I am trying to fix this major problem, it is zapping me of all my energy. We aren’t gaining traction with anything. We are more or less in a stand still.
This has to change. I am considering bankruptcy. I can’t believe I am actually thinking about this……but I don’t know how to make this work. Or at least we need to talk to a debt consolidation attorney. Something.
We are beyond hard work and determination getting us through. The money isn’t there. It just isn’t. One could argue about the car…..that isn’t it. We sell the car….buy a beater….and still will have a car payment. And due to G-man’s commute….the beater won’t last long.
Cable….unless you have an Autistic child, you won’t understand. We can’t get rid of it. It will upset his world too much.
I just want to cry.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Almost nothing to show for 2 months
If I can direct your attention to the right side of the screen..... It appears that we made some progress....but in actuality, we are less than $100 from our beginning total of debt 2 months ago. WHOOPEE.
This, my friends, is the part THEY love. The finance charges!!! We have spent a couple thousand dollars on our debt in the past 2 months and have almost nothing to show for it. We pay...they tack on a few hundred dollars in finance charges, and now you are worse off than you were.
G-man and I have to talk, but I am ready to fire the FA. Our first meeting with him was late June, and in 3.5 months, we have NOTHING to show for it. NOTHING.
I am spending my afternoon balancing the checkbook, paying bills (this week is pay week for both of us), and racking my brain on a way to make this all work.
I know some of you have made suggestions.....sell the car, sell the house. But I am not sure about those. You are probably saying to yourself...Mysti, girl....wake up and smell the coffee! Desperate times call for desperate measures!!!
I am not there yet guys. I am afraid to sell the house and then owe thousands of dollars in taxes, and our rent wouldn't be much different. I am afraid to sell G-man's car, which wouldn't even pay off the loan and then we could end up with a less than reliable car.
Go back to work full-time? Not sure how Bossy Boy would do with all that.
Sell my blood? I am ok with that....how much can you get on the street for that????
This, my friends, is the part THEY love. The finance charges!!! We have spent a couple thousand dollars on our debt in the past 2 months and have almost nothing to show for it. We pay...they tack on a few hundred dollars in finance charges, and now you are worse off than you were.
G-man and I have to talk, but I am ready to fire the FA. Our first meeting with him was late June, and in 3.5 months, we have NOTHING to show for it. NOTHING.
I am spending my afternoon balancing the checkbook, paying bills (this week is pay week for both of us), and racking my brain on a way to make this all work.
I know some of you have made suggestions.....sell the car, sell the house. But I am not sure about those. You are probably saying to yourself...Mysti, girl....wake up and smell the coffee! Desperate times call for desperate measures!!!
I am not there yet guys. I am afraid to sell the house and then owe thousands of dollars in taxes, and our rent wouldn't be much different. I am afraid to sell G-man's car, which wouldn't even pay off the loan and then we could end up with a less than reliable car.
Go back to work full-time? Not sure how Bossy Boy would do with all that.
Sell my blood? I am ok with that....how much can you get on the street for that????
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Interest
Amazing how this works. My CC1....I paid the minimum, which for a day made it look like I was making progress....then they added back in the interest.
So the balance went up about $300, due to interest.
The rate on this card is 19.24%. It is eating us alive. And there is nothing I can do. I tried to get it lowered, and all they did was cut my credit line (and tried to make it sound like they were doing me a favor). All I can do is what I am doing...keep plugging away.
Right now, I need to reset my expectations that we are not going to get OUT of debt...more that we are not going to create new debt.
So the balance went up about $300, due to interest.
The rate on this card is 19.24%. It is eating us alive. And there is nothing I can do. I tried to get it lowered, and all they did was cut my credit line (and tried to make it sound like they were doing me a favor). All I can do is what I am doing...keep plugging away.
Right now, I need to reset my expectations that we are not going to get OUT of debt...more that we are not going to create new debt.
Personal Loan Update :(
They turned us down due to debt to income ratio being too high.
Well, crap.
In reality, this loan wasn't creating new debt....it was helping to reshuffle what we have. But they don't see it that way. When we receive the official letter (I was turned down on the phone), there will be info on contesting it. So, it may not be dead in the water just yet...but that is being drastically hopeful and optimistic (and trust me.....I am not good at playing Miss Mary Sunshine.)
Spoke to the FA, and he is bummed. This was a lynch pin in the plan....and now he has to figure out a way for us to come up with $7,000 to pay off the retirement loan so we can keep working the other steps. I told him I am concerned that if this was a NO, what else will be a NO. Plus, I don't want our FICO score to take too much of a beating.
There is a few other things we can do to come up with the money....none of which are good. Sell my engagement ring is one. Parents.....that is iffy.....I know my parents really can't do it. I know his mom can...but I hesitate to ask.
I can continue to sell off extra stuff we have, but I doubt we have $7,000 worth.
Frustating.
Well, crap.
In reality, this loan wasn't creating new debt....it was helping to reshuffle what we have. But they don't see it that way. When we receive the official letter (I was turned down on the phone), there will be info on contesting it. So, it may not be dead in the water just yet...but that is being drastically hopeful and optimistic (and trust me.....I am not good at playing Miss Mary Sunshine.)
Spoke to the FA, and he is bummed. This was a lynch pin in the plan....and now he has to figure out a way for us to come up with $7,000 to pay off the retirement loan so we can keep working the other steps. I told him I am concerned that if this was a NO, what else will be a NO. Plus, I don't want our FICO score to take too much of a beating.
There is a few other things we can do to come up with the money....none of which are good. Sell my engagement ring is one. Parents.....that is iffy.....I know my parents really can't do it. I know his mom can...but I hesitate to ask.
I can continue to sell off extra stuff we have, but I doubt we have $7,000 worth.
Frustating.
I *thought* he got it...I was wrong
G-man. Love him. Really, I do. But he is driving me nuts!!
I found a receipt on the floor of our bedroom for the grocery store. He stopped on his way home the other night (long story short....he has worked MAJOR hours this week on a high profile project at work) because he wanted dessert. Ok...
He bought (2) containers of ice cream, and a soda. He paid FULL PRICE for each container of ice cream!! That is $6 a container....and as most of you know, ice cream containers have gotten smaller over the past few years, but the price stayed the same. So this grocery bill was almost $15 for this little tiny nothing shopping trip.
I asked him about it, and he said he paid cash. Um, so what??? It is still part of the grocery budget! He doesn't get that ALL money (cash, credit, check, blood money) is all in the same category. It is like he thought because he had cash on him that it "didn't count."
ARGH!!!!! He needs to understand that in order for things to get better, we BOTH have to be careful.
Need to check where we are on the budget.....I think we are way over where we should be. GRRR. This is tough.
I found a receipt on the floor of our bedroom for the grocery store. He stopped on his way home the other night (long story short....he has worked MAJOR hours this week on a high profile project at work) because he wanted dessert. Ok...
He bought (2) containers of ice cream, and a soda. He paid FULL PRICE for each container of ice cream!! That is $6 a container....and as most of you know, ice cream containers have gotten smaller over the past few years, but the price stayed the same. So this grocery bill was almost $15 for this little tiny nothing shopping trip.
I asked him about it, and he said he paid cash. Um, so what??? It is still part of the grocery budget! He doesn't get that ALL money (cash, credit, check, blood money) is all in the same category. It is like he thought because he had cash on him that it "didn't count."
ARGH!!!!! He needs to understand that in order for things to get better, we BOTH have to be careful.
Need to check where we are on the budget.....I think we are way over where we should be. GRRR. This is tough.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Today's Horoscope
Yeah...I am one of those people. I don't live and breathe by my horoscope, but I do strongly feel that they have some merit. Today's horoscope:
September 12, 2009
September 12, 2009
The easygoing Gemini Moon enables us to tune a conversation in or out, and engage or avoid an issue. The Moon's shift into tenacious Cancer at 4:19 pm EDT makes it harder to just let go of a feeling of attachment because we are subject to our moods now, which do not always respond to reason. Meanwhile, a slow-moving quincunx between contractive Saturn and dispersive Neptune reveals how tough it is to be realistic while also holding on to our dreams.
I can feel the shift.....I am already having a hard time letting go of feelings. Feelings like this debt is my fault. Feelings that I have royally screwed our family. That this is hopeless. That we are 3 steps away from living in a cardboard box (ok, I know that is a bit mellow dramatic.) But I have spent since last night running numbers in my head, and I think my brain is starting to leak out of my ear from over use.
Why is this my fault you ask?
1) I have been the CFO of our family since G-man and I got married. There were decisions that we discussed, but really the decision was based on my research and thoughts...and they weren't always right.
2) Our kids were WAY WAY WAY premature. I carried them, thus it was my body that failed and resulted in their birth. This started a long line of medical debt. (I know that our medical debt right now doesn't look THAT bad, but we spend about $5,000 out of pocket yearly on medical, in addition to the thousands that we have already paid off over time).
3) As a spin off to #2, I became a stay at home mom because of our kids' issues. I was home for 5 yrs with them, and we just sank further into debt. I tried to get help, but our income on paper didn't qualify us for anything.
I know I need to let this stuff go to move forward, but today it is just hard.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Another Financial Planner Meeting
We are starting to head in the right direction. We are off like a herd of turtles, I tell ya!
So the newest plan.....
1) Personal loan that will pay off G-man's retirement loan (which isn't even in my master tally....it is auto deduct from his pay, so I never think about it).
2) Pay off retirement loan, and then in 60 days (per the terms of the acct), take out the max we can and pay off CC1 and Car. This should leave about 12k that we can use towards a refi.
3) Refi the house. In order to avoid PMI, we probably will need some cash (see #2). Hopefully we will still have a little left over to fund an emergency fund, maybe to pay off loan (see #1).
All of this, plus other changes we recently made, should increase cash flow. This plan will take us roughly until Jan. 1, which then we will see where we are. It is really all just a reshuffle of the deck. The debt really doesn't go away, just is redistributed. Once all the redistribution happens, THEN we are in a situation of repayment.
I think I will feel better when I start to see things decrease. I am still upset/frustrated/sad that we are STILL not at a place where we are breaking even. This plan makes us just go LESS in the hole each month.
So the newest plan.....
1) Personal loan that will pay off G-man's retirement loan (which isn't even in my master tally....it is auto deduct from his pay, so I never think about it).
2) Pay off retirement loan, and then in 60 days (per the terms of the acct), take out the max we can and pay off CC1 and Car. This should leave about 12k that we can use towards a refi.
3) Refi the house. In order to avoid PMI, we probably will need some cash (see #2). Hopefully we will still have a little left over to fund an emergency fund, maybe to pay off loan (see #1).
All of this, plus other changes we recently made, should increase cash flow. This plan will take us roughly until Jan. 1, which then we will see where we are. It is really all just a reshuffle of the deck. The debt really doesn't go away, just is redistributed. Once all the redistribution happens, THEN we are in a situation of repayment.
I think I will feel better when I start to see things decrease. I am still upset/frustrated/sad that we are STILL not at a place where we are breaking even. This plan makes us just go LESS in the hole each month.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Feel like we are failing already
I just started this blog a few weeks ago, and I am already feeling discouraged in the digging out process. I was updating the current balances, and we are just over $200 over the balance from a few weeks ago. I know we charged about this much for some school stuff for the kids, a gift for a wedding we have coming up. Some gas.....but some of that will be reimbursed.
I guess I should be "thankful" that G-man screwed up and used our debit card to pay for the $300 repairs on his car last week. It sucked that we had to pay this to begin with. Coupled with the $1500 bill from a few weeks ago for my car....cars suck.
We actually did reduce a few things, but added to others. Plus, we have a few more medical bills that I need to add to the total. So we are probably more like $500 above where we were a few weeks ago.
Ugh, this is hard!!!!
I guess I should be "thankful" that G-man screwed up and used our debit card to pay for the $300 repairs on his car last week. It sucked that we had to pay this to begin with. Coupled with the $1500 bill from a few weeks ago for my car....cars suck.
We actually did reduce a few things, but added to others. Plus, we have a few more medical bills that I need to add to the total. So we are probably more like $500 above where we were a few weeks ago.
Ugh, this is hard!!!!
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