Secret Sister....revealed!

I know many of you already know all about this....but Carla, the Queen of da Swap, organized a Secret Sister Swap.  I will admit...I almost didn't participate.  I have done swaps in the past, and never received anything.  That can sour you on the experience.

But all the gals that read Carla are uber sweet, so I decided to go for it.  I am so glad that I did!!!  I got an incredibly special and sweet package on Saturday, and even though I was in the middle of yardwork, I threw off my gloves and tore into my box!

I will tell people I hate surprises....but there was something about opening a box and not knowing what was in it that was so exciting.  Here is what greeted me when I opened the box.....oh boy, this is gonna be good....we are already starting out with shimmer!

Once I removed the filler, I found a lovely card from Messy Jessie (who has AWESOME handwriting!!!).   And here are all the wrapped goodies (in purple!!!  Totally matches my hair!!!).  With a little handwritten tag on each item.

I have to tell ya, even before opening everything, I was already tearing up.  That someone who doesn't even know me took so much love and care...it made me feel like the most special person in the world.  Like, I just stopped for a minute and looked at it.  I don't remember the last time I felt that way.

I loved opening each one and looking at the thoughtfulness behind each gift.

Look at all this great stuff!!!!

I LOVE that they are purse sized!

Some of my fav!

I can't wait to try this!

My real name is engraved!

OMG....PERFECT.

I am so torn...it is too pretty use, but how could I NOT have my OWN spoon!!!

I am just over the moon happy!  This swap has really made me feel so good.  I loved buying for my Secret Sister (but I will admit the packaging from my Sister puts mine to shame!), but I also loved receiving.  I look forward to getting to know my Sister better and learning more about her blog and her life.

So thank you Carla for organizing this, and and extra special big hug and kiss to my Sister, Jessie....for making me feel like a million bucks!!

Isn't That the MAIN Idea?

Sorry that this week seems to be a wedding-heavy posting week....and it isn't even my wedding!

My boss asked me yesterday if we were going to the church for the ceremony.  Um, yeah.  Then he asked if "everyone" is going to the church (as in, the rest of the work crew....aka The Party Table!).  Um, to the best of my knowledge...yeah, everyone is going. Then he went on to say that he has attended many weddings where there were 4x more people at the reception than at the wedding itself.

Now, I know there are religions where the wedding itself is a sacred event, and unless you are part of that particular religion, you are not allowed to witness it.  That is a COMPLETELY different idea, and not what I am talking about. I am talking about when you have been invited to the ceremony and reception...and CHOOSE not to go to the ceremony.


I look at it that we were invited to a WEDDING.  To witness two people publicly declaring their love and committing to share their lives together.  It is a special moment for this couple, and it is an honor to be asked to witness it and share in the joy of it all.  The reception is sort of a bonus. Yes, the reception is fun.  Food, drinks, music, dancing (no offense to anyone who doesn't include any of these items due to religious belief).  Let's call it what it is.....a PARTY.  A very expensive party.  It is fun and celebratory....but in the end, it is a party.

My friend originally was planning a much larger, involved wedding for later this year.  She was so unhappy.  She finally said that she wanted her wedding to be about the people that she and her fiance love and spend their time with; not about having to invite people because you are obligated.  So she moved up the date, and planned a much smaller scale wedding that was more about intimacy than flash.  Even still...she is sitting at just 100 people (which was about where our wedding was).  But the original event was coming in closer to 250-300.

As for the work crew....she invited 5 of us (and our spouses).  She felt we were the ones that she worked most closely with, and wanted to share her day with.  It was hard for her to let go of the idea of inviting EVERYONE, but when she really thought about it....she wanted her wedding to be about the people in their lives, not about obligation.  She never announced who was invited and who wasn't...it was just kept quiet amongst those of who are going.  I know this can make for an awkward situation, but it seemed to have worked out.

I am excited for the couple.  The weather appears to be holding out (tomorrow should be low to mid 70's, sunny, and 0% chance of rain).  I know my friend has been waiting a long time for this (they have been together 5 years), and she is so happy to finally arrive at this!  I am sure it will be beautiful and special.  And I am so honored to be part of it.

Have you ever not attended a wedding ceremony and just went to the reception?  If so, why?  How would you feel if that happened to you?

Happy May 4!

I decided to wait on the reset until Monday.  Sorry 444....I know you are dying to see it all.  But I would like to tweak a few things on the blog, and I won't have time until this weekend.  I will say that the all the funds have cleared our account, and 4/5 have posted to their respective places.  The one that hasn't posted is always a few days longer, so by Monday I expect that it will post too.  The first retirement loan payment has been made.  More on all of this later.

As for today....it is raining.  It always rains on May 4.  I know this because it is my birthday, and it almost always rains on my birthday.  Per my mom, it was a nice sunny day on my actual BIRTHday, but I guess someone lost the memo that this trend was supposed to continue.  My 24th birthday was sunny...but since that was a few moons ago, I will say that rain is more common.

Since I have only been up for an hour, I don't have much to report yet.  I will say that Swagbucks sent me 50 bucks for my birthday.  And then I got 26 more from a search.  Not a bad way to start things off.  The kids and G-man said Happy Birthday.  Otherwise my day will be:  go to work and do paperwork.  I am hoping to be done by noon.  Then I would like to go shopping for my Secret Sister swap, hosted by Carla.  There is a store near my office that should work well for this task.

We are having dinner at home (grilled shrimp tacos and chile lime rice).  The kids are excited about the rainbow cake.

The big question of the day is: Will my parents remember my birthday?  I know that shouldn't be a question, but it is.  My money is on "will call later and tell me that they didn't forget and will send me something that will never come."

Meanwhile, I am hoping to just have a chill out kind of day.  I don't want drama.  I don't want excitement.  I really just want to enjoy a quiet, rainy day.  I have more PTA stuff to work on (crafty, fun stuff!), so I would like to enjoy a "beverage" and get my craft on.

To my friend MutantSuperModel....good luck on your final today!!!

Who knew finding help would be so hard?

G-man and I were invited to a cocktail party coming up this weekend.  The e-vite went out mid-November, so we had plenty of time to find a sitter, get a hostess gift, etc.

Neither of us were going to need anything new to wear (sans a pair of hosiery for me if I ripped mine).  I got a hostess gift on sale, just needed to be wrapped up.

That just leaves the sitter.  We called our regular girl...and after a period of her going MIA, she finally said she couldn't do it that night.  I asked someone from PTA who has a teenage daughter....she can't do it.  Asked another friend whose step-daughter is in college....SHE can't do it, but our friend thought maybe the roommate could.  Nope...she couldn't do it either.

This brings us to Sunday.  As in, 2 days ago.  In a moment of desperation, I googled sitters, and found 2 sites that claim that you can post a job and find a sitter!  Background checks are already completed....it had reviews and profiles.  And it was free!  Sounded like a good deal.

WRONG.   Yes, you can join for free....yes, you can post a job for free....but if you want to get the CONTACT information for the sitter....THAT my friends, you have to pay for.  How much?  $35 freaking dollars, A MONTH.  That is on top of whatever you would pay for a sitter (which around here is $10/hr).

There was no way we were going to pay $35 for a one time usage of a sitter.  Let alone per month to keep our membership active.  $35, plus probably $50-$60 for the sitter....we are closing in on $100, just for the sitter....plus the gift.....plus the gas to go to the party (it is 45 min away).....good thing we didn't need clothes!  This was turning into an expensive party.

So, we let the couple know we wouldn't be able to make it.  The hostess gift will get saved for another occasion.  And we and the kids are going to make Fairy Houses (fun with popsicle sticks and glue!!  And of course GLITTER!!!)  to hang outside so the Tree Sprites have somewhere to go to get out of the cold (as part of our Yule celebration). 

It will still be a nice evening....just not the evening we originally thought!

A few changes here

My life is full of drama.  All the time.  And while it makes for some good stories...it really is exhausting to actually live it.  Most of it is out of my control.  But a few pieces here and there are still in my control.

Someone in my real life has been reading my blog.  And not been honest about it until last night.  They are upset, which is fine.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings.  When I mention someone from my real life here, there really isn't anything that I have said, or wouldn't say directly to them (at some point).  This person feels that I am a different person here than I am in real life....I disagree.  I talked to another friend about it last night, whom I met on the internet....and knew on-line for a long time before she and I became IRL friends.  And she said....no....I write very much the way I talk, and say the same things.

My IRL friends know I have a blog, but I have not shared it with them.  If it was something I wanted to share with them, I would give them the addy.  But I haven't.  I am disappointed that someone would go behind my back and seek it out in secret, let alone comment on it (I am not 100% sure, but alot of pieces add up now). 

With that said....I have disabled anonymous comments.

Even though I have a certain amount of anonymity on my blog, if I comment on your blog...you will always know it is ME who left that comment.  I don't hide behind the anonymous choice so I can let loose and say what I want.  If I have something to say...I will say it.

I believe this person has been one of my anonymous commentors, and while not every anonymous comment is negative, I would rather take this option away vs go towards comment approval (where I would have the option to weed out what I don't want, and I don't think that is the idea....)

I also decided against making my blog private.  If I need to go that route at some point, then I will revisit that idea.  I just don't think I need to do that right now.

If this person chooses to continue to read...go right ahead.  I find it kind of sad that they have to stoop to that level, but it is their life.  They told me last night that they do not wish to be my friend anymore.  And I said you gotta do what you gotta do.  Drama over.

Two down???? And Negative Energy

We are still waiting to hear about G-man's car.  Hopefully before lunch we will know.   On Saturday we decided that $1000-$1200 was the LIMIT we were willing to spend to fix the car.  That would drain our car maintenance fund, and would use the last of the refi money (that was SUPPOSED to go to bring our E-fund back to $1500 and the remainder to debt).

That was Saturday.

On Sunday....my car decided to start overheating.  We can tell that coolant is leaking, but can't tell if it is the water pump (which has been replaced 2x in the past 6 months) or the hose.  Really Universe????

The reaction last night...screw it all...these cars aren't worth it.  Let's get 2 new cars.  We didn't....but it was a thought.  Not a good thought...but a thought.

We have to find out about G-man's car, and then my car will go into the shop on Friday (most likely).  Meanwhile, we have to have some contingency plans.  We can't afford all of this.  And I will just cry if we end up having to get a new car, let alone 2.  I will say that we will only get a beater car....we aren't looking at some nice, new car.  We will get what we can either not have a payment with, or a payment that is very very small.

ARGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Update:  Not the battery.  It appears to be the security system.  We now have to tow the car to the dealership because the security system is proprietary information, so we need them to look at it.  It could be a bad module or a transponder.  Dunno.  GRRRRRRR.

***
A friend is having some issues with another friend (I don't know this other person).  But my friend is quite distraught.  She has been hanging out at my house alot in the past few days or tezting and calling me.  It is fine.

Yesterday, her husband and son went to a family event, and some bad stuff went down there.  He was really upset.  He called his wife, who was at my house, and asked if he could come over too.  Sure!

We were sitting at my kitchen table, and she proclaimed that my house is where relationships go to die.

GREAT.  My house is the Vortex of Negative Energy!!!

Go vote NOW for the Ugliest Sweater

http://coffeecatharsis.blogspot.com/2010/12/time-to-vote.html

Kari over at Coffee Catharsisand her beautiful family have started a  hilarious new tradition.  Go check them out and vote for the 2010 winner of the Ugliest Christmas Sweater contest.  I am sure you will find something to tickle your fancy.

And there might be a little something in it for you too.  :)

It is only worth what someone will pay for it

I had sort of an awkward exchange this morning with my friend S.  I met her through Craigslist when she bought something I listed.  And since then, our friendship has evolved.

I have sold a few things to her (mostly toys), and given her a bunch of things just because she could use them and I didn't need it.  But she mentioned the other day needing clothes for her son, and I mentioned that I had a ton of stuff that I was looking to clear out.

She came over and we went through about 6 boxes of things.  She picked out what she wanted and had a HUGE pile of things.  (when we boxed it all up, it fit in a box that Sassy's new twin bedding set came shipped in, just to give you an idea of size) Most were worn by Bossy, but several outfits were brand new with the tags.  Plus, I had some baby clothes new with tags that she was interested in for a friend of hers.

So it comes time for pricing.  If she wasn't a friend, I probably would have priced the items piece by piece (or outfit).  But we did it as a lot.  I was very uncomfortable with this exchange.  I was afraid of asking too much and insulting her.  She came up with the idea that we write down our numbers, and see how far off we are from each other.

Confession time....I was really thinking of a number higher than what I wrote.  But being a friend, and trying to cut her a deal....I wrote down a number about $50 less than I was really thinking.  Her number was $25 LESS than what I wrote....or actually $75 less than my original thought.

This was a HUGE box of clothes.  Shirts, pants, sweaters, fall jacket.  A bunch of 3 piece outfits.  Baby stuff.  Snow boots.  My original thought....$175-$200.  I wrote $150, she wrote $125.  We settled on $130.

But now I am kind of feeling like I should have gotten more.  It is done and I need to let it go.  But really....there were some brand new items in there.  And everything was in "school" condition.  No play clothes.

I feel weird now.  I now wonder if she offered me MORE than she would have than if I was a stranger.  I know she likes a bargain, but I am sort of feeling used now. 

Would you dip into your 401k to be debt free?

Remember my friend J?  I have blogged about her Wanting to be Mrs. Jones, and complaining about debt.

Her husband is an accountant.  And he wants to take a withdrawal from his 401k to pay off debt.  Not a loan.  An actual withdrawal, with penalties and all.  The idea is that he wants to be free and clear.  He is in his mid 30's, so he figures he has time to make it back.  But feels that they aren't making any headway, so this way all the debt is gone.  And then they will live on cash.

First off....I know them too well.  They won't be able to live on cash.  They will run through money like water through a sieve, and when it runs out, they will run to their CC.  Guarantee it.

Second...I know they stopped their 401k contributions a while ago to increase cash flow.  So not only would he be draining the account, but hasn't been adding to it in a bit.

Third....they think this is a solution to the problem.  They have yet to discover that that problem isn't debt...it is poor spending habits, lack of budget, and an overall selfishness that they want it all.

Would you consider doing this?  Take your retirement, and pay it all off.....no loan.  Free and clear.

Thanks everyone!

I so appreciate everyone's birthday wishes!!!  My birthday had its good points and its bad, but I won't bore you with that.  But I really do feel good about those of you who took a minute to wish me well.

As I stated a few days ago, I joined the Yakezie Group, and I have been working on setting up links to all those wonderful blogs.  WOW....amazing!!  It is taking me longer than expected, so look for that by the end of the week.  And I will be highlighting a few "new to me" blogs also.  I swear, I could spend hours reading all of this stuff....but alas, the duties of a working mom/wife/driver/caretaker/house frau never stop.

Gotta run.....just realized the time!  My 15 minutes before school is up.  :)

Do you know the Joneses?

The Joneses.  Those people who we are trying to keep up with.  (BTW, I want to see the movie...but that isn't where this post is going...)

I have a friend.....I met her through the internet (on a totally different subject matter), and she and I became fast friends in real life friends.  She is my friend who drives me nuts and I want to bang her head against a wall....but she is my friend none the less.

I swear....she needs to change her last name to Jones.  They spend money like it is going out of style.  They always want to get something flashy and be the envy of the neighborhood.  They put on such an act that you actually want to vomit a little in your mouth when you think about it too long.

The latest and greatest is a playground for the kids (who are 3).  Not a swing set.  A HUGE MONSTER playground.  Cost....$2000.  They are spending 2 grand on this bad boy....all the while playing the debt game of transferring debt all over the place.....which could be another post in itself (I will give you a teaser....her husband trashed her credit so he has "A" credit).  Anyway....they love that their friends can't wait to come over and use it.  They love that everyone wishes they had one of these sets.

They are the Joneses.

Do you know the Joneses?  Do you have a friend or family member who wants to be the envy of you all and wants to set the bar?

A Generous Offer...but no

G-man informed me that yet again, he has damaged his car. 

On the wheels of being rip roaring angry, I talked to a good friend.  She is my IRL confidant about my marriage, financial stuff, etc. She and I are 2 peas in a pod....our joke is that she and I just need to run the world.  The world can't be trusted to run itself.

She and her hubby just took out a loan against his 401k, which was to pay off CC, purchase a new car, some home repairs, and some cash reserve.

She offered me the $6100 (from her cash reserve) to pay off our retirement loan, so we could take out the new loan we have been planning.  Of course we would pay her back with interest first thing.

But no.  I thanked her for her generous offer.  I am touched that she would trust us that much.  But I don't feel comfortable taking a loan from a friend.  $5 to cover lunch is one thing.....$6100 is a whole other story.  I know she was being totally heart-felt and genuine.  Didn't want anything but to help a friend.  But there is no way I could do that.

But is sure is nice to know that I have a friend that would be WILLING to do it.