Thursday, September 29, 2011

A few changes here

My life is full of drama.  All the time.  And while it makes for some good really is exhausting to actually live it.  Most of it is out of my control.  But a few pieces here and there are still in my control.

Someone in my real life has been reading my blog.  And not been honest about it until last night.  They are upset, which is fine.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings.  When I mention someone from my real life here, there really isn't anything that I have said, or wouldn't say directly to them (at some point).  This person feels that I am a different person here than I am in real life....I disagree.  I talked to another friend about it last night, whom I met on the internet....and knew on-line for a long time before she and I became IRL friends.  And she write very much the way I talk, and say the same things.

My IRL friends know I have a blog, but I have not shared it with them.  If it was something I wanted to share with them, I would give them the addy.  But I haven't.  I am disappointed that someone would go behind my back and seek it out in secret, let alone comment on it (I am not 100% sure, but alot of pieces add up now). 

With that said....I have disabled anonymous comments.

Even though I have a certain amount of anonymity on my blog, if I comment on your will always know it is ME who left that comment.  I don't hide behind the anonymous choice so I can let loose and say what I want.  If I have something to say...I will say it.

I believe this person has been one of my anonymous commentors, and while not every anonymous comment is negative, I would rather take this option away vs go towards comment approval (where I would have the option to weed out what I don't want, and I don't think that is the idea....)

I also decided against making my blog private.  If I need to go that route at some point, then I will revisit that idea.  I just don't think I need to do that right now.

If this person chooses to continue to read...go right ahead.  I find it kind of sad that they have to stoop to that level, but it is their life.  They told me last night that they do not wish to be my friend anymore.  And I said you gotta do what you gotta do.  Drama over.


  1. My blog is private from my friends, no one knows about mine besides the BF, and I prefer it that way. Sorry about the drama.

  2. I'm on the other side of the fence here, I've never understood the reason to "hide" your blog from family & friends. My family & friends all can, and some do, read my blog. I am who I am, IRL or online. I figure, like me or not, the choice is yours. ;)

  3. how sad that someone IRL has decided to not be your friend just because of your blog. doesn't sound like a good friend to me. move on and up without her. :)


  4. @Michelle - like I said, just about everything that I post I will talk to my friends about in one form or another. But sometimes I need to vent. Drama...

    @Carla - My main reason I don't just openly "invite" my family and so I can rant!

    @JaDell - I really am not that upset. If someone wants to take away a friendship, that is their choice. People all need to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. This isn't the first time I have said something and she has chosen to withdraw her friendship. I stand by what I said.

  5. Its sad that someone would do that to you. As you know the only people who know about my blog are the kids, my husband and one bff in the whole world. But they all know I tell it like it is and if they arent comfortable then dont read it.

    But outside of them I dont tell anyone because well I just dont. And you know what if she doesnt want to be your friend well then theres the door and keep moving. Life is to short for people like that in your life.


  6. Move on. Any one who treats you like this over a blog needs a divorce. Yes you can divorce friends. I have had to and it is hard. I however don't let my close family know I have a blog. Mt kids know but again like Judy this is my rant. They don't like it they can just not read it! As for not being yourself, sometimes when we write we omit, I know I do. Every emotion oozing out of me at a given time can be over whelming, you don't get to see or read that. But this is still me.

  7. Ahh... Ok, I can understand where you're coming from.

    My motto in life is, "Don't say anything I wouldn't sign my name to." ;) So if I need to vent, my BFF or hubby gets an earful, or I'll talk it out with the person I'm peeved at, which is usually hubby or my BFF! ;) I wouldn't want to offend/upset anyone by saying something on my blog that is hurtful to them, as I surely wouldn't want to read something offensive about me on someone's blog.

    It's a faint line we walk on sometimes... :/

    At the same time way in which you're upset that this person searched out & read your blog in private, the internet is FAR from "private" & they're probably feeling much the same as you after having read something about themselves on your blog. Offended & hurt. That being said, I'm very sorry that you lost a friend over your blog. :(

    In the end, we all have to do what we feel is right & be ready to deal with the consequences of our actions, good or bad. If you stand by what you said & don't feel that you owe her an apology, then I'd just move on. Onwards & upwards. ;)

  8. @Carla - as I said...there isn't anything on my blog that I haven't talked about in real life in one manner or another. The issue this person has with me...she and I have discussed previously. This is her issue, not mine. My issue with her reading the blog is that this has been going on for a year, and if she has been commenting anonymously...then isn't she doing the same things she is accusing me of?

  9. Wow, that is so dysfunctional on her part. That would be like spying in your window for a year and then criticizing you for walking around in your slippers and with your hair up in a towel. If a friend of mine had a blog I would feel like a spy reading it without their knowledge. That's so twisted. Maybe she was not a great friend to begin with? I don't know.

  10. Is it tacky of me to think "OMG! This chick is going to be absolutely LIT when she reads this particular entry!"??????? It probably is, but there you go. There's a reason I don't use my real name on my blog, and while the internet isn't "private", it does afford some degree of anonymity. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't need to read it.... but I'm betting she'll continue.

  11. Too funny! what have you said? I read all the time LOL


  12. I'm sorry to hear about that. It is interesting how freeing it is to be ourselves online and to not hold back. If we feel guilty about treating ourselves to starbucks instead of reducing our debt by five dollars we don't have to call our friends and family and tell them but we have a place to feel open about ourselves. As weird as it sounds seeing as our stuff as PF bloggers (although I'm a poor excuse for a PF blogger :) oh well) is out in the open to read, it still seems like our privacy is invaded when someone discovers our blogs without having first told the person about them. I had a blog a while back that I kept private from friends and family and I mentioned it in passing to my boyfriend at the time. I used it as a place to rant and let off steam once in a while. He took it upon himself to go out of his way to find it, and then he read it and commented on it. It was seriously a blow to my system. I hope you decide to keep your blog open...or if at some point you change your mind...add me? lol. I love reading your blog everyday even if I'm sometimes just a lurker.

  13. sounds like you are better off without that kind of friend. only DH & my kids know that I blog, I am not into sharing my financial information with friend or family and my blog kept me sane when I was pretty much cut off from people and up half the night caring for dad, a blog serves as a place to vent and discuss stuff we do want to keep private from people we know, otherwise we'd just write under our full name and address!