Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Party Trouble....Bossy Version

As much as it stinks that others have been through this party does make me feel a little better that I am not alone in this!!!

As a final note on Sassy....we talked to her last night and it went better than expected.  She was disappointed, but still liked the idea that it was HER day.  She decided that she wanted to go to lunch and a movie, and to invite her friend K along (the one who had the allergies).  And she would like DADDY to take them.  Yeah....that one stung a little.  But this is about her, not me. 

And on to the Bossy Mess....

We decided to invite all the boys in his class (6, not including Bossy).  After much discussion with his teacher, she finally agreed to send home the invites.

I know one mom from PTA, so I talked to her at an event, and told me her son would be coming.  Great.  Then we never heard from any of the remaining 5 boys.  At all.

His teacher called late last week on an unrelated matter, and I confirmed that all the invitations went out.  When I told her that I only heard from 1 parent, her response was "well, that is a shame."  And this launched into a discussion about how she can't control if the kids gave the invitation to their parents...that they may still be in the backpacks.  And when I asked if she could just double check and if she found any, please remind that child to give them to parents...she didn't agree or disagree to do it.

By Monday night we still hadn't heard from anyone.  So we wrote a follow-up note and sent it into school.  I do have to say I felt like a bit of a tool.  I felt like I was begging these kids to come.  But we needed to order the cake, the trophies (in lieu of a goody bag).

I ran into another Mom last night, who told me that she just got the invite because her son never gave it to her.  She felt bad, but her son couldn't come because of sports.  She said if she had it 2 weeks ago when we sent it out, she could have arranged for him not to play this week.  She said the kid was bummed because when he saw it was a bowling party, he wanted to go.

This morning we did actually get an RSVP that the kid is coming!!!!!    I invited my friend and her son (who is only 4) more out of obligation than anything else.  And even with her I had to follow up and see if they were coming.  So we are up to 3 kids coming (other than my 2) out of 7 invited.

His party will in the end be fine.  With the adults, there will be a good showing.  He will be fine with it all.  In his world, there is no difference between 1 kid and 10 kids.  He will just be happy to be there and bowl.

I am still amazed at all of this.....


  1. I'm sure it will be fun! Sounds so stressful though.

  2. I teach kids with various disabilities. Several years ago I was teaching a class of students with emotional and behavioral disabilities. A parent sent in invites to her daughter's birthday party. I paper-clipped them to the behavior charts that went home every day. I didn't think much of it.

    Two months later, at a meeting, the parent burst into tears and in the middle of everything else she was upset about, she revealed that no one came to her daughter's party. Not a single student, from my class of 13, had showed up. Her daughter was in second grade and it was devastating for her.

    I don't know why I'm telling this story. It doesn't help and I don't have a solution. It sucks. That's all there is to say.

  3. On one hand you were upset people weren't coming but then you invite someone out of obligation? That doesn't make any sense.

  4. I have a comment about Sassy. Little girls tend to prefer Daddy to take them to places. I know mine did when she was that age, and still does. She is a Daddy's girl, but we are still close. There are things she prefers to do with me or talk with me about. It will balance out in the end.

  5. You did everything you could. Sassy will have a wonderful day and so will Bossy.

    As for RSVP's when my daughter had her sweet 16 last year I had to call parents the week before because I was still waiting for head counts.

    Enjoy the birthdays! Don't stress and just let the days happen. Hope everything goes well.


  6. @Michelle - it is stressful!

    @Kevin- my son has rarely been invited to parties. And we were hoping that kids would come, even with his SN. But I can tell you as a is heartbreaking to watch all of this.

    @Anon - my friend sort of invited herself. Her son is much younger, and she felt that because she invited my kids to her son's b-day, that he should be invited to our party. I really don't want him there, as he is only 4, and the other kids will be 9. Plus, he has the tendency to misbehave. And his mom doesn't do much about it.

  7. @Rhitter - I know that she doesn't LOVE Daddy more than still just hurt a little.

    @Judy - I wish I knew how to not stress.

  8. That sounds like a good-sized party. I think 2 or 3 guests are actually enough. They can actually interact and no one gets lost in the crowd. Like I said in the other post, we had a party where NO ONE showed up, and at party time I frantically called the mom of 5 who told me she would definitely come. Her husband told me she was out watching the kids play a softball game or something and she might come to the party when/if they had time afterwards. ?!?!?!? Of course they didn't, and didn't even call to say they'd be late/absent. RUDE! Thankfully we recruited 3 neighborhood kids on the spot who seemed a little underprivileged and probably never went to any parties, ever (they were very well-behaved) and they had a blast. They were a bit underprivileged, I think - one of them arrived after mom or dad dressed them up in their party finest which was a clean matching set of character clothes (pajamas!) but we're not picky and pajamas can be great party wear if it looks like a t-shirt and shorts.

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