I have two close friends, "C", and "J". Love them to death, even though they can drive me nuts....particularly J. But seriously, they have been there for me through some really bad things, and they are the ones I know I can call at 2 am if I had to.
We talk finances all the time. And they want to be out of debt, or so they say. But they don't take any steps towards it.
C and her hubby have a financial advisor, who has told them over and over that they should have enough money to do all the things they want, and pay stuff off, and still be ok. The problem? They completely underestimate what they are spending. They haven't tracked what they are doing, and honestly I am surprised that the FA hasn't had them do this exercise. I am guessing they are overspending at least 50% in some categories, mostly in groceries, eating out, entertainment. And that is being kind. I wouldn't be surprised if it was closer to 100%.
She said she is envious of what we are doing. I told her that she has to have the AHA moment where you just buckle down and do it. And you have to be willing to give some things up in the short term to have what you want in the long term. No...they are I WANT IT NOW people and that is what they do. They vacation. They eat out ALOT. She smokes (not condeming smokers, but it is an $$ habit). They both drink. All of this plays into things.
J on the other hand.....*sigh.* She is jealous. She wants to be debt free, but she also wants to be Mrs. Jones and have it all and be the IT family. She doesn't want to give anything up. She buys Starbucks for her and each CHILD at least 3 times a week (she is on the phone with me, so I know that the drive thru is $12 each time). And girls night out. And boys night out. And hobbies. And , and , and. She claims they are sooooo broke, but bought a $2000 swing set on credit. She is so broke...but can go out to dinner and movie with her friends all the time. She is so broke that they want to take a 401k loan to pay for preschool. But has no problem paying for the gym and pool membership.
Love them to dearly, but they just aren't willing to change their ways.
When I had my AHA moment, it all became clear. You have to spend less than you make. You have to be willing to do what it takes to get to that point where you can see the light. You have to be willing to WORK for what you want. It isn't going to magically happen.
They can be jealous and envious if they want. But they can also do what we are doing. If they are willing to just do it.
We are far from ending our journey, but I feel in my heart and soul we are on the right path.