Saturday, August 10, 2013

Being Brave and saying NO

I did something yesterday that I am sort of proud of: 

I told my friend I couldn't do something because we didn't have the money.

We have all been there....friends invite us out to something, and even though you know you really don't have the money to go anyway.  Remember the Friends episode where they all go out to a fancy dinner, and Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel get next to nothing to eat, but then when the bill comes they are expected to chip in on everyone's meal.  In case you missed it is:

My girlfriend stopped by the other night while out for a walk (she called my phone and said "can you come out and play??").  So I sat on my porch for 2 hrs talking about everything and nothing.

She is doing the Electric Run tonight.  It is a fundraiser for March of Dimes, and it sounds so fun!  It is a 5K run/walk at night, and the path is lit by black light, so participants are encouraged to wear neon so you glow in the dark!!  My girlfriend is one of those over the top people (in a good way) and has glow in the dark make-up in addition to an orange shirt, orange shoes.....she even made glow in the dark lip gloss.

Come on will be so fun....come do it with me!  You and G-man can get a sitter, and make a night of it!  Or if G-man doesn't come, you can just ride up with us!  C'mon!!!

Entrance fee:  $65-$70
Matching clothes to all the other team people:  At least $30, not counting shoes that I would need as my sneakers are shot (and have been for about a year!)
Drinks/Food/Misc during and after the event:  $20-$30

I was at $115-$130, and that is being conservative.  If we got a sitter so G-man could come and cheer us on (he would hang with the other hubbies, and yes, he knew at least one)...add in another $50 for sitter, and up the Misc category to at least $50  This scenario put us at closing over $200 for the evening.

I didn't say NO on Thursday, told her I would talk to G-man.  But I had already decided we didn't have this money available (especially not with the kids' birthday in a few week, remaining school supplies, and some of the other things I haven't talked about yet).

Friday she texted me if I was in...and I said No....honestly, we don't have the money right now. She wrote back, I know (which means that she doesn't have it either, but is doing it anyway).  I said, maybe another time.....and have a great time!

In the past (and honestly, not that far distant past), I would have done it.  I (and we!) get so few nights out without the kids.  But I just couldn't justify $$$$ at this moment.  So our Saturday evening will probably be spent just hanging out, maybe playing a game with the kids.  Maybe we will go continue to work on the back to school shopping list.  Or maybe we will wander around Home Depot and continue to plan for distant projects and stop for ice cream on our way home.

It will still be a nice night.


  1. Good for you for saying no! Once you start saying "no" it does get easier. The thing I always have to say no to is all those darn "parties", candle, kitchen....

    1. I am rarely invited to the "parties" and typically if I am, I don't go. I know I will buy something that I don't really want or need.

  2. Good for you!!!! So much of personal finance is just that, PERSONAL. It's about setting aside others ' expectations, and making the decisions that best meet your financial goals. Easier said than done though. Great job. Remember, just as the outflow adds up bit by bit, the savings when you decide to say "no " also add up. Go, you!!!!

  3. Way to go Mysti! I know it is hard, but great job! I am right there with you...having to say no because once you add in babysitter, etc. it becomes very expensive. Once again way to go!

  4. Good for you, Mysti! Its such a hard thing to do but it sounded like your friend totally understood.

  5. Good on you!! That's my nemesis, too. It's so hard to say "No" to friends...but the first time is by far the hardest. Lots of my friends have joined us now in doing "no or low cost" things and I think we all feel happier. (Fiona)

  6. Love that episode of Friends. Well I love ALL the Friends episodes LOL but I could really relate to that one, even when it first aired. Funny you mention this run - I was going to sign up for the Dirty Girl Mud Run - our company sells the promotional items for it & we have a team at work - but the entrance fee is $75. Ouch! I know it's for a good cause, & I really hope I'm in a position in the future to participate, but I had to say no :( Good for you - it's hard - but it would have been an expensive night & you would just felt horrible after!