Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Money I Didn't Spend Yesterday

It is no secret that August is my "bad month".  I seriously must have PTSD.  The things that we have gone through in August are horrible and every year, I react.  I relive.  It is miserable.  And yes, I have talked to therapists about it.  I think this is why I can mostly contain it to August, and not year round as it previously was.

So yesterday was a VERY BAD day.  Coming off of a bad weekend....it just kept on rolling.  I am not going to rehash is....because more than likely....you all will not get how bad it really was.  Just trust me that by 8:30am, I was already done with my day and contemplated hiding somewhere for the day.

The kids have camp until 4pm this week, so if I leave work at my scheduled time, I have 1.5 hrs before I need to pick them up.  My plan for the week was to work an extra 45 min, but I just couldn't do it yesterday.  I needed to decompress.

Went to the local "higher end" shopping area (all open air, all the "good" stores that I never buy stuff at but drool over.  Thought I would just get a small bobble to make myself feel better (spare me the lecture about using money to pick me up).  I have been wanting a bracelet watch...or in the least a bling-y watch.  Went to the accessory store (think super bling-y Claire's, but for grown-ups).  They were having a sale!  And this is what happened:
  1. Everything that I picked up was NOT on sale.
  2. All of the watches I tried on were too tight to fit on my wrist.
  3. I left feeling even worse than I did before I went in.

Alright, so now I will go to food for comfort (again, see the above note regarding lecture).  I had a $10 gift card for the Frozen Yogurt place! YAY!!!  And there was not ONE parking spot anywhere near the store.  Did I mention this is an open air shopping center, and it was sunny and 80?  I was not going to park in BFE to walk to the other end of the center....for yogurt.

So now I have no bobble, and no yogurt.

Later on, I am going through my e-mail, and decide to peruse Joss and Main and OneKingsLane.  Found some cute things.  Many that were well beyond what I was willing to spend.  Found one thing....still outside of the spending thought process, but by this point....I didn't care.  And it was out of stock already.

Is it bad when you are totally willing to spend money, and can't????  I suppose I can't get TOO upset....as we will be buying a new range in the coming days, and that will be WAY more expensive than the money I was going to spend as a pick me up (but somehow less satisfying).


  1. I can't even begin to understand what you are going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers. One thing you may want to consider is exercise - that yogurt shop would have been the PERFECT opportunity! Walk from BFE to the yogurt center - the exercise gives you the endorphins and helps with the depression, then you get the treat at the end (well, middle), and you can enjoy it on your walk back. The ONLY thing that will get me out of a funk (and by no means is your August a "funk") is exercise. Food and things only make it worse. (Especially things, as they are then tied back to the depression and the issues behind the depression; they become a constant reminder, for me at least).

  2. My funk hits in April. Trust me, it's bad. Jill is right. Exercise is a great elixir. I also tend to stay close to the hearth during that time. I don't commit to ANYTHING, giving me time to run, bike ride, and spend more time on hobbies I enjoy. I found that substantial purchases made around "funk time "serve only as reminders. Be gentle with yourself.

  3. I actually can't help but to laugh when that happens to me, which is *very* often. There are a few things I'm almost always looking for, and most of the time, I can't get the right size/color/style. I can go to malls and walk out without a single thing. It's frustrating, but I just find it funny. The universe must be trying to tell me something. Hope things turn up soon enough for you.

  4. Mysti my sweet, just call me when you feel like this, I know where you are coming from. Too funny though that you could not complete a single treat. Blah!

  5. It's inpossible to spend less around the start of school. It's worse that Xmas.

  6. Just wanted to let you know I thought of you on Sunday. I was sick and mostly in bed but I did think of you and hoped you were doing ok.