Sorry that this week seems to be a wedding-heavy posting week....and it isn't even my wedding!
My boss asked me yesterday if we were going to the church for the ceremony. Um, yeah. Then he asked if "everyone" is going to the church (as in, the rest of the work crew....aka The Party Table!). Um, to the best of my knowledge...yeah, everyone is going. Then he went on to say that he has attended many weddings where there were 4x more people at the reception than at the wedding itself.
Now, I know there are religions where the wedding itself is a sacred
event, and unless you are part of that particular religion, you are not
allowed to witness it. That is a COMPLETELY different idea, and not
what I am talking about. I am talking about when you have been invited to the ceremony and reception...and CHOOSE not to go to the ceremony.
I look at it that we were invited to a WEDDING. To witness two people publicly declaring their love and committing to share their lives together. It is a special moment for this couple, and it is an honor to be asked to witness it and share in the joy of it all. The reception is sort of a bonus. Yes, the reception is fun. Food, drinks, music, dancing (no offense to
anyone who doesn't include any of these items due to religious belief).
Let's call it what it is.....a PARTY. A very expensive party. It is
fun and celebratory....but in the end, it is a party.
My friend originally was planning a much larger, involved wedding for later this year. She was so unhappy. She finally said that she wanted her wedding to be about the people that she and her fiance love and spend their time with; not about having to invite people because you are obligated. So she moved up the date, and planned a much smaller scale wedding that was more about intimacy than flash. Even still...she is sitting at just 100 people (which was about where our wedding was). But the original event was coming in closer to 250-300.
As for the work crew....she invited 5 of us (and our spouses). She felt we were the ones that she worked most closely with, and wanted to share her day with. It was hard for her to let go of the idea of inviting EVERYONE, but when she really thought about it....she wanted her wedding to be about the people in their lives, not about obligation. She never announced who was invited and who wasn't...it was just kept quiet amongst those of who are going. I know this can make for an awkward situation, but it seemed to have worked out.
I am excited for the couple. The weather appears to be holding out (tomorrow should be low to mid 70's, sunny, and 0% chance of rain). I know my friend has been waiting a long time for this (they have been together 5 years), and she is so happy to finally arrive at this! I am sure it will be beautiful and special. And I am so honored to be part of it.
Have you ever not attended a wedding ceremony and just went to the reception? If so, why? How would you feel if that happened to you?