A small sense of relief

I am weird.   I know it.  I just try and embrace the weirdness.  G-man is so laid back that he just lets me be weird.

I NEEDED to work on finances last night.  Like, I was having anxiety issues because I HADN'T done it in about a week.  I booted him off the computer, and went and checked all of our accounts.  I have a notebook where I write all the bills, the minimum payment and due date, and current balances.  I check it off as I pay it.  Not high tech, but sometimes the act of writing something, vs typing it is more powerful for me.

So I balanced the checkbook.  Paid some bills on line, and one over the phone.  Wrote out a bunch of medical bills.  Paid the water bill (I am still upset that it was $349.)  And a HUGE sense of calm came over me.

My finances were taken care of for the moment.  I am not clueless...I know our budget is busted, and that we owe 68k.  I know that we blew it for our goal of paying off my student loan (although I am seriously thinking of using my bonus money).  I know that I had a "secret" goal of paying off $10,000 by December 31 that won't happen.

But for the moment....the utilities were paid.  My bill binder was empty.  My checkbook was balanced (granted, I had to transfer $300 from our savings account to cover a few things).  And I was happy again.