I am weird. I know it. I just try and embrace the weirdness. G-man is so laid back that he just lets me be weird.
I NEEDED to work on finances last night. Like, I was having anxiety issues because I HADN'T done it in about a week. I booted him off the computer, and went and checked all of our accounts. I have a notebook where I write all the bills, the minimum payment and due date, and current balances. I check it off as I pay it. Not high tech, but sometimes the act of writing something, vs typing it is more powerful for me.
So I balanced the checkbook. Paid some bills on line, and one over the phone. Wrote out a bunch of medical bills. Paid the water bill (I am still upset that it was $349.) And a HUGE sense of calm came over me.
My finances were taken care of for the moment. I am not clueless...I know our budget is busted, and that we owe 68k. I know that we blew it for our goal of paying off my student loan (although I am seriously thinking of using my bonus money). I know that I had a "secret" goal of paying off $10,000 by December 31 that won't happen.
But for the moment....the utilities were paid. My bill binder was empty. My checkbook was balanced (granted, I had to transfer $300 from our savings account to cover a few things). And I was happy again.