We are in trouble

(warning....long and rambling.  And somewhat husband bashing)

We, as in G-man and I.  The financial stress of our life has really taken a toll on our marriage.  It has become abundantly clear that we are not a team in this.  We are not working together.  We are not WE anymore....we are he and I.

I have been the one to handle the checkbook for just about our entire marriage.  And over the past 12 years, he has gotten comfortable "being taken care of."  He doesn't even open the bills....just puts them in the pile.  At any given time, he has no idea how much (or how little) money we have.  Heck, he barely knows what weeks are pay weeks.

He isn't  like he is spending money on "stuff."  He doesn't go out, he doesn't drink or smoke.  He doesn't buy "toys."  Instead, he is irresponsible.  Car accidents or other driving mishaps that cause vehicle damage.  Already damaged his new cell phone (he had it 2 days).  Wipes his greasy hands on his pants and shirt, thus creating a stain that won't come out.  He goes into the basement and leaves the lights on.....I find it 2 days later when I go down there.  We have talked about this many times, and I get the perfunctory "I know, I will try harder."

His massive screw up with the move....I am still angry.

I have said that fixing this takes a team approach.  And sacrifice is part of this.  And while he thinks he is sacrificing....he isn't.  Time is a sacrifice.  And when he is home....he sits on his favorite social networking site and that is about it.

I asked him what he is doing to help our situation, other than work.  And he said "nothing."  Telling, huh?  While I cut coupons, drive around to get the best deals, work as much as I can, sell stuff off.....he sits and updates his profile.

I worked on Friday (his day off) and came home at 8pm, and found the breakfast and lunch dishes in the sink (the sink was empty when I left the house).  The house was trashed.....nothing was done.  I asked him what he did all day....his answer.....I tacked down the linoleum in the bathroom.  Whoopee.


I have asked him for ideas of how he can contribute more to the team effort.....Answer:  I don't know, I can't think of anything.  I asked him if he read the Dave Ramsey book yet (knowing he hadn't.)  Answer:  Well, I didn't know where it was.  Gee......you could have asked me.  If you really wanted to know...you would have found out.

My newest idea....is he needs to take a temporary assignment at work.....far far away.  He will get a stipend for doing it.  And I will get the break from him that I am needing right now.  He is very close to losing his family, and he knows it.

He is being a man-child.  Last night he brought me some sorbet when he came home from work.  I asked him where his was.....Answer:  (in a whiny voice)  I don't deserve any.  GRRRR. 

I am done.  DONE.  DONE.  I cannot be solely responsible for fixing out mess.