Monday, April 25, 2016

One more thing to save for

My brother called yesterday to announce his engagement to the woman he has been with for 11 years.  It was spur of the moment.  They were on vacation, and after my brother being adamant that he was never getting married.....he all of a sudden decided to buy a ring in St. Thomas and propose. *shaking head*

No idea what the change of heart is from.  He was in the airport, on a long layover, on their way home when he called.  Future Sister-in-law was right there, so that wasn't the time to delve for more info.  My gut says that her best friend, who was on vacation with them (3 couples went on a cruise), pushed him.  No idea why all of a sudden he changed his mind.

Bro is almost 39, and his fiance is 50.  Her son is 26 and lives with them.  I am highly doubtful that there is a baby on the way, as they BOTH have been very vocal about not having kids together.  Plus, they already booked another doesn't seem likely that a pregnancy is involved.

If he is happy, then I am happy for him.  No one in the family particularly likes her, but it isn't our call. 

No date has been set, as this just happened on Saturday night.  Of course the preliminary excitement talk started, and it might be next spring.  They do know they want it to be on the smaller side....immediate family and friends.  However, the bride and her friends (not that I have met many) are big time party people.  I am guessing this will be more of a 10 minute ceremony followed by alot of drinking.

Funny brother doesn't drink, nor does he particularly enjoy parties.  One time when I was actively in therapy, the discussion of my and my brother's life partner choices was front and center....and how we picked partners that were so different from our parents.  Anyway....

So I guess we now have to plan for attending the wedding.  Bro live about 6 hrs away, so totally drivable.    This is going to mean attire for all 4 of us, for both the wedding and the rehearsal (if they go this route).  G-man will need a new suit, as his one suit has become moth-ravaged; the kids have clothes they just wore to the 8th grade dance, but a year's worth of growing will make these items questionable.  And me....if the wedding were NOW, I have stuff I could wear, but I am hoping this is the kick in the pants I need to really focus on my weight loss.  Travel expenses should be light....gas and food.  We will stay at my mother-in-law's house.  Of course a gift.  I am really hoping that the bride doesn't feel "obligated" to have me in the wedding, as the sister of the groom.  I don't have that kind of relationship with her, so I don't think it will happen.  I really don't want to do that.

Of course, my parents will play an interesting role in the planning of trip (not in planning the wedding....that is a whole other thing).  The Vegas Bet right now is that my parents won't attend.  Oh, they will plan to go....but in typical fashion...they just won't be up for it when the time comes.  The flip side to this bet is that they will go, but then something will happen that will focus all the attention on them.  Like when my aunt died, and my mom fell and ended up with a concussion, and then my dad crashed the car (not on the same day...these were 2 separate events of the addition to the funeral).

In the meanwhile....the kids are excited.  They have never been to a wedding.  I tried to talk to my brother into getting married about 8-9 years ago...when the kids were 5/6 years old.  Built in flower girl and ring bearer.  Super cute.  But that ship sailed.

I will call my parents later and find out their take on the whole thing. 

Guess I will add "wedding" to the pile of things that I will need money for and will have to figure out how to save for.


  1. If you are asked to be in the wedding, explain to your brother with the move, you not working and everything else you must decline. Go into just being happy your brother is getting married and if your parents are that bad, don't even call and find out what they think. They might try talking your brother in having the whole family in the wedding. Just kidding, I hope. Cheryl

    1. Oh, my parents will be an interesting thing. Not with the actual wedding....just getting them there.

      I am sure they will think the kids should be in the wedding... but they also asked me if the kids still ride in the little cars at the grocery store. They have lost touch with they still think of the kids as 4.

  2. I am sorry your parents are not interested enough to even know your sweet children ages. I have four grandchildren and don't see them all the time but I know their ages and love seeing them. It is your parents loss, grandchildren are such a gift. Cheryl

  3. It doesn't sound like you and your brother are particularly close. I'd be happy for them but make it clear you don't want to be involved in the planning or the wedding party. If the event is next Spring then you have a year to save for any expenses which unless disaster strikes should be do-able.
    Perhaps, since you don't feel this was totally your brother's idea, he'll come to his senses and the wedding won't happen. There is so much up in the air so no need to panic about this.
    Just put it on the fringes of your financial radar and wait for circumstances to unfold without getting involved or bent out of shape. There will be plenty of time for that later, right? lolz

    1. We have become closer in recent years, and if this is what he wants, then I am happy for him.

      No date is set, but I really don't think the wedding will be in a year. I think the bride is going to want to do this sooner than later. She started pushing for a ring about a year into their relationship, and considering they have been together 11 yrs.....she is going to want to get this done.

      As for saving....right now we are barely making it, and there isn't anything to save. I am not in any sort of panic. Just saying that until I am working...saving isn't an option.