Monday, March 10, 2014

Who Stays Home?

In the past, if one of the kids got sick and were going to stay home from school...I stayed home.  Mom.  Mom takes care of sick kids.  The kids are older now, but still not quite able to stay home alone when they are sick.  Particularly Bossy.  Bossy has a feeding tube, and while he is active in disconnecting it when he is done, we really haven't worked on setting it up.  Doing this while he is sick is NOT the right time to introduce this.  Additionally, he takes his medication through the tube, and he really is not to be trusted with medication on his own.

Guess who is sick?  Bossy. Daddy is staying home in the morning and part of the afternoon with our little sickie.  Daddy has to be at his office job at 3pm, so I need to be home by 2pm so he can leave, meaning I will "miss" 2 hours of work.  Depending on how my day goes, I might have work to bring home....I might not.  But today is the first day of the payperiod, so there is still time to make it up.

Daddy will call out from his part time job (5 hrs) to stay home.  The reason he is staying home vs. Mommy is 2 fold:  1)  He himself has been fighting a cold since last Wednesday, and 2)  Financially, we lose more pay if I stay home.  Even by cutting my hours by coming home a little early, we still will make more.

I hate that our decision on who will take care of a sick child ultimately comes down to finances.

Daddy doesn't take care of sickies the same way as Mommy.  Daddy doesn't put a straw in the cup of juice.  Daddy doesn't tuck the blanket around little feet.  Daddy doesn't lay next to sickie and stroke his hair.

I will have to remind Daddy to write down when he gives medication, so I don't give it too soon once I am home.  I will have to call before I come home to double check that we don't need anything at the store.  I will have to remind Daddy that even though we can't force Bossy to eat, we can still tube feed him so he gets nutrition and fluids.

We are trying something "new" with Bossy being sick this medication.  Most medications are for 12 and above, and the doctor said as long as we stay on the "lesser" side of should be fine.  The challenge is making sure it will go through the feeding tube.  In our experiment (which actually started the last time he felt warm), we can crush up a tablet and dissolve it in water.  Worked fine, as long as it is finely crushed (even a small chunk will not go through the tube....which clogs it....which means you have to take it out and unclog is a mess....we have had to do this for other things....).  Last night we tried dissolving a gel cap.

We tried opening the gel cap to just get the meds out....and found out how LITTLE there actually is in there!!!  The gel coating is just that....coating.  We tried dissolving the whole thing and found out how hard it is to dissolve the coating.  In the end, the gel cap broke open after being soaked for several hours, and I just pitched the coating.

Do you know how expensive liquid meds are for kids....particularly when they are on the max dose???

Oh well.  I guess a day of napping and tv is in Bossy's future.  Without Mommy.  *sniff sniff*


  1. Awww! I hope Bossy feels better soon!

    I hate having to leave my sick kids home with my husband. I know he is capable but it just doesn't seem right that I can't be the one to stay home and take care of them. I hate the way finances dictate our lives. :(

  2. My mom never worked when I was growing up and I used to fake being sick just to stay home with her :) Nothing like having your mom around when you feel sick.

    Fortunately I only work less than part time because my son gets sick quite often. I don't think two weeks in a row go by without one of my 2 kids being "sick". I feel for full time working moms. The guilt of sending them to school sick would kill me.

    Hope Bossy is better soon.

  3. Oh fun sick kids, just part of life. I remember those days.

  4. My Mom passed away when I was 24. I'm 27 now, and I still miss her when I'm "hurting".. physically or mentally *sigh* You're right, Moms do it best :)

  5. Just a thought Mysti. There are some medications that cannot be crushed and mixed with water to place though the feeding tube. Enteric coated medications should never be crushed. Again, just a thought.

    1. I will talk to the dr. The few things we have tried we were given the green light from I guess they weren't enteric . But thank you for the info...we will follow up with our dr.

  6. My mother was a stay-at-home mother, so she was there when we were sick. I was mostly sleeping when I was sick; I was a very sleepy child. On another note, I am sure the Mr will do a fine job. I always disliked my mother putting down my dad because he wont do things exactly how she would... which is true. He's different than she is. But he still cared for us dearly, even if differently and not as firmly.

  7. Your husband will do just fine, he just needs the opportunity to learn. Good job on making a smart financial decision and not an emotional decision on who stays home!

  8. I stay home, wife is a teacher so there's no way she can take off. Besides daddy does everything better :)


  9. I think it's good that your letting your husband take on some of the parental responsibilities. And I think it's best if you don't compare how he does something to the way you do it. He just has to figure out his own way.
    Eric and I will both have demanding careers when we have children, and I plan on him taking as much time off as I will be taking for children responsibilities. I know it will suck to not be able to be home with my kids all the time--but my job is just as demanding as my husbands.

  10. I think everyone is forgetting that my kids are almost 12. He has had plenty of practice. These aren't babies who can't tell you what is wrong.

    And no, he doesn't have to do it my way...but there does has to be communication. And this is where he doesn't do so well. He is fine making sure that the kids are taken care of in the basic sense. But I did have to ask when the last meds were given...and he ran to the store, and forgot half of the list....

    I have no problem with him home with the long as he communicates with me. But I will say he isn't the "nurturing daddy" when the kids are sick. He largely just lets them alone and he does his thing. I am the nurturer...who goes one step beyond the usual to help the kids feel better.

    I am not putting down his care....I am putting down his ability to communicate.