Lots of views on yesterdays post....only 3 posts! HMMMMM.
I know alot of people probably think I am a mega b*tch because of my story. And trust me, before I talked to G-man about it all, I thought I was being a mega b*tch too. It was a very sweet gesture, and I know his heart was in the right place, however.....after you have been married for 15 years.....you learn a few things.
After talking it over with my therapist, I had to tell him my feelings. I spent so long being upset about things in our marriage and not really talking about it. Then it would build and build, and bubble over. He did the same....but his bubbling over was making very poor choices.
So I told him that I appreciated the thought, but the money would be better spent elsewhere. Additionally, I had to tell him that it hurt my feelings that he was trying to start our new life together with a fake ring.
He looked at it that he thought it was pretty and wanted me to have it. Not that it was a knock off and even though he knew it wasn't what I wanted....he just wanted me to have SOMETHING (which was all self imposed by him). He didn't think that I would be upset that symbolically he was starting our new life on a "lie" (fakeness).
Additionally, he didn't think he would really have to give anything up. Since I do the finances, it would be my responsibility to figure out how to pay for this ring (again, he said to use the money we put aside for the trip. Yeah, until he rescheduled the trip, and we had to come up with money for that.....which for the record is topping out as $600 total for his trip).
He spent money on a spur of the moment decision without thinking it through. And traditionally....these decisions don't work out well for him.
So yeah, I told him that I didn't like it, and that because it doesn't fit, I can't wear it anyway. And that my feelings were hurt.
And yeah, he was hurt for a minute. But he told me he would rather me be honest with him.
So if all of that makes me a terrible person, then so be it. It isn't the first time, nor the last, that someone will think it.