Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Three days In and.....

The financial debate escalates.  We haven't even had a paycheck in the New Year (it is tomorrow) and it is starting.  The item up for debate?  Our mattress.

image from Photobucket

G-man woke up in a FOUL mood.  He was stomping around, throwing things in the sink and onto the counter.  Yelling at the kids for nothing.  Childish would be an understatement.  And this isn't the first time this has happened.

I pulled him into the other room to talk, and he was pissy with me.  He was TIRED, and his back HURT.  OK, so I have been hearing this for YEARS.  He blamed our mattress.  So we switched out the mattress we were using for the one that used to be in the guest bedroom (which had minimal usage on it).  And that quieted the matter for a bit.  And then it started up again.  We bought a topper.  And it quieted again.  But not for long.

If you don't count the minimal use that the mattress had before we switched them out, this mattress is about 3-4 years old.  It wasn't super high quality when we bought it, but it wasn't super cheap either.  I would say it was around a 6.5/10.

I have refused to get a new mattress for a few reasons:
  1. The expense
  2. We totally disagree on what to look for in a mattress
  3. And....until our marriage was better....a new mattress stood for more commitment than I was willing to give
Now he is "blaming" me for being tired and such.  Because I refuse to get a new mattress.  He says "it is fine," yet I am the one that has to listen to all of this jazz.  This morning I said....Fine.  We will get a new mattress...but you have to figure out where the money will come from because it isn't going to be a credit card, and it isn't going to come from our regular budget.  And he pouted.

Yes, he pouted.

We have $500 built into the budget for something...but we are a long way off from saving that.  I am not going to dip into EF.  I am not going to scrape together all the extra stuff from various places.

What would you do? 


  1. We bought a cheap mattress when we bought our house a little over 2 years ago. It was the worst mistake ever for us. I would say buy a new one, but look around.

  2. I'm guessing punching him in the face isn't an option? Because I'm pretty sure that's what I would do.

    I would stick to what you said - he can figure out how to make the extra money to pay for a new mattress. I will say that switching to memory foam (couldn't afford Tempur-Pedic) has made a huge difference in sleep quality for me, but a mattress can only do so much. I think he needs to learn to quit being a baby and that would go much further than a new mattress.

    (two cents deposited)

  3. That's a tough one..usually a topper can hold off the inevitable need for a mattress..

    But I have to say, a good mattress is worth every penny you spend on it. We switched ours out last February and have not regretted the purchase at all.

    I would start saving for one ...now. :)!

  4. Just to make sure - have you flipped and rotated the mattress? Men usually "break down" their side quicker than women.

  5. God, sorry, but how childish. Definitely have him find the money in the budget.

  6. I had that same problem. Our mattress wasn't too old (4 yrs) or too cheap (600) but it wasn't providing support. I went to sleepys.com and for 150 got a new boxspring (our current one was 10+ yrs old and when we bought the new mattress no one told us to change the box spring so we didn't) and that made a huge difference. It's like we have a new bed for minial cost. Is that an option for you?

  7. Tax returns?? I've used my tax returns for big purchases like that in the past. Make sure it's the mattress and not something else...


  8. We recently got a mattress from a local mattress outlet store. We paid 1/3 of the MSRP because the mattress was a cosmetic 2nd. We love it and we should have bought something better years ago.

    As far as your situation... I agree that this doesn't count as a time to dip into EF.

  9. Don't you hate that when they go stomping around for a new large purchase and you have to find the money. Anything extra and I mean anything has to be earned by me. His parents gave us $130.00 for Christmas and that money is sacred. Even though you remember I earned over $1000.00 for Christmas he could not contribute the $130.00. We had a big row about this, but I certainly understand, hold firm make him work over time or find a side job. When you cave to this, he will find the next item. Trust me.

  10. I'd tell him to get another job to pay for it or start sleeping on the floor. The hard surface is supposed to be good for the back anyway ;)

    My mattress was sinking in the middle and it turns out the box spring was broken. Several 2x4's under the bed did the trick.

  11. @Michelle - when we do get a new mattress, it will be a higher quality. You get what you pay for!

    @Andrea - no punching...but tempted! We have talked about a memory foam. Glad to hear you like yours. (and can I snowflake the 2 cents?)

    @Sharon - apparently the topper we have isn't good enough for him.

    @Foscavista - oh yes, we have flipped and rotated.

    @Book-lover - he really is being a baby about this.

    @Jesort - we have another boxspring...maybe we will try and change that and see if it helps. Thanks!

    @HS - tax return is already put aside for something else.

    @Working - we will check out the outlet place. Thanks.

    @Kim - I don't see him working too hard for this. And I am NOT giving in!

    @Free - he already works 2 jobs. And I don't see him doing much more right now.

  12. I'm going through the SAME THING right now. My memory foam mattress is four years old, and David cannot stand it. Last year, he bought a memory foam topper to avoid buying a mattress. He's already started complaining again. Because we keep our finances separate, he thinks I should give half for the mattress, even though I don't see anything wrong with the one we have. I told him he'd have to wait until we get our tax refund in February. I'm not financing a mattress, and I'm definitely not putting off my plans to be debt free to pay half for something I don't even want.

    Just a note... I was told by a mattress store employee, and it's true in our case, that people who sleep on their sides do better with softer mattresses while people who sleep on their backs or stomachs prefer firmer mattresses. I'm a stomach/back sleeper and LOVE the memory foam mattress. It's a dream for me. David sleeps on his side and hates it. Just my luck!

  13. @Katie - I am a stomach sleeper, and G-man is a side sleeper. So I am in the same boat. Did the mattress store person give you any suggestions???

  14. Does he have any hobby items he can sell to help offset the cost? Tools he doesn't use, old sports gear, etc?

  15. @Hawaii - nothing he is willing to part with at this point. He has sold off stuff in the past two years.

  16. Let him find the money and forget it. When he starts up again just take a deep breath and ask where the money is. Let him fix the problem he's having. Don't get involved in any way. Don't offer suggestions don't offer opinions. From the looks of it, you're more easygoing than he is about the sleeping thing which is often the case. Men tend to be heavier and "feel" the pain of not great mattresses earlier and deeper than their generally smaller companions. Point is, any solution you offer or help him get to is going to end up biting you in the ass in the future anyways (as in, it'll eventually be your fault when the damn thing starts hurting him again).

    Oh and you could start calling him Princess Pea on here instead of G-Man. Or if you don't want to emasculate him completely, may I suggest Pea-Man?

  17. Andrea @SoOverDebt...you made me LOL! That is totally my answer to things although I don't act on it (the punch 'em in the face)! I would have to say...I would be QUITE tempted in this case!

    Mysti, when I was still under my parents' rein, my mom would place a sheet of plywood between the mattress and box springs to get more life out of it. I am one of 10 kids and mom and dad had wonderful ideas of frugality that had very minimal direct effects on us kids!

  18. Your mattress is just 3-4 years old, but it’s already giving you problems. It only shows that it isn’t really a good quality mattress. You should’ve chosen the mattress with good quality. It could’ve given you a more comfortable way of sleeping there. A high-quality mattress can last for 10 years, and that’s the only time that you need to replace it. Anyway, I hope you consider the quality first over the price when buying your new mattress. ->Aniyah Bautista

    1. The mattress in question was purchased for the guest bedrrom. It was only intended to be used on a limited basis.