Thursday, December 1, 2011

Ask me ANYTHING! of 5:30pm, I have had 142 views, and only FIVE questions.....there must be something you want to ask.  It doesn't have to just be about our finances.  What do you wanna know???


For a change of pace....I am turning things over to YOU.  What would you like to know about us?  My life is an open book.  Seriously....just ask.  The only thing that I will not public share here are our real names (even though a few of you know them), and pictures of us (even though you have seen my kids once!).

Is there something you just don't get about us?  Is there something I never followed up on?  My favorite color?  Just ask.  No topic is off limits!!

Let the fun begin!!!!


  1. Hmmm since I am going for a question about you and gman. How did you meet? And What is your least favorite thing in the world to do?



  2. What is your favorite memory of your childhood?

  3. @Judy - We met through mutual friends. My girlfriend was dating his (then) roommate. They were going out to dinner, and invited us to join them (although neither one of us knew the other was invited). It was a good thing we got along because our friends got into a fight that night and weren't speaking to each other for part of dinner (and for what it is worth...they are now married with 3 kids, but we are no longer friends with them). That was late October 1996...we "officially" started dating in November 1996, and got engaged Jan 5, 1997. 7 weeks from our first official date.

    Least favorite thing to do...hmmm....probably wash the floors!

    @Kim - that is tough. I don't have very many good childhood memories. Probably my 9th birthday...I had a sleepover with 5 girls. We had pizza for dinner and watched the movie Grease. In the morning, we went rollerskating!

  4. well i've been wondering since i haven't followed you from the beginning, but where di all your debt come from? was it just from spending too much? and then it caught up with you?

  5. I found your blog a while ago and read the entire thing from start to now. LOL. Not to sound creepy or anything, but I found myself in a bit of a debt predicament and it is helpful to know that there are others struggling just like I am. I think most people are afraid to talk about their debt situations, and it is refreshing to hear it first hand. Anyway, I've wondered something while reading your blog and I heard you vaguely mention it once in a comment. Why don't you guys consider filing for bankruptcy? I've never had to do it myself, and don't know if I would in your situation either, I just wonder why you guys aren't considering that option. Thanks!

  6. I'd love to know what decision(s) you're most proud of? I feel like most blogs focus on mistakes, challenges, and all our flaws, & I'd love to hear what you're doing that you're knocking out of the park, or things that you did in the past that were great decisions.

  7. I'm wondering if you resort to bad habits when the going gets tough. I'm thinking of things like overeating, shopping, etc etc.

  8. @NOAB - I wish it were overspending that brought us here. Not to say that we have overspent at times, but that isn't where most it came from. We started our marriage with 55k debt (boat @26k, wedding @13k, student loans @16k). I went back to school for my Master's. We got the wedding paid off, then we had to borrow from retirement for closing on the house. Then we had infertility treatments and conceived twins...which meant we needed a "new" car as neither of our cars would work. Then we had premature babies. We went from double income to single income, with sick children. The cost of living continued to go up....and we used CC to buy food, diapers, gas. We did more infertility treatments to have more children....we got pregnant and lost our girls. We got pregnant again, and miscarried again. In deeper times of sadness, we overspent some...but not like big vacations or big purchases. Just a little here and there. G-man's father got sick, and we made several trips home. The house needed repairs. Bossy was in and out of the hospital. Weekly treatments for him....and associated medical costs.

    And there you have it. A series of life events that just never let us catch our breath.

  9. @Samantha - We have never seriously talked about bankruptcy. We sort of figure that we created the debt, regardless of why it was created. And we need to pay it back. I will say if we did declare bankruptcy, and discharged just the credit card debt...we could pay off the the student loan debt in about 2 years. Additionally, given the circumstances of this year...we would have to be sure about that step, given other steps that may come down the pike.

  10. @Hawaii - Most proud of...I am a fierce fighter for my kids. I have always made sure my kids got the medical attention they needed (you learn a thing or two when your kids are in the hospital for 6 months!). And name is mud. I am THAT mom that fights for everything! Our meetings are LONG.

    @I need a nap - I am a total stress eater. And a boredom eater. I don't really "shop" when the going gets tough....I do get a bad case of the "wants" though. When things really get low (like when our daughters died), we did shop more than usual. Especially that Christmas. I don't smoke, and I rarely drink. I have never done drugs (ever). Probably my worst habit when the going gets tough is I am a yeller. I yell about everything.

  11. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? (Sorry, it seems to be a good question around the blogosphere, though I dont care for PB). I don't think I've caught up, but what's your area of work, or what do you work on? Is this what you thought you would be doing 5, 10 years ago? What did you want to be when you grew up and why did you change from that (if you changed from that)?

  12. @Tanner - I like PB, but I am not a huge fan. If it disappeared from Earth, I would be ok (although Sassy would be very upset as she lives on PB&J). But I prefer smooth PB.

    I have a Master's in Elementary Education, and had planned to be a regular mainstreamed classroom teacher. Maybe get my reading certification. That was the plan....10 yrs ago.

    10 yr would have been 2001....we just bought the house, and I was getting ready to start my student teaching.

    Right now I am an administrator for an early intervention company (we do physical, occupational, and speech therapies for babies through age 3). My boss was my kids' physical therapist when they were in the program. He and I kept in touch, and when he opened his own company....he asked me to come help him for "just a few hrs a week." Now I work 20-25 hrs for him and do all the paperwork.

    So no...this isn't where I thought I would be 10 yrs ago. 5 years would have been 2006. Bossy wasn't talking yet, wasn't eating I didn't think I would be able to work at all. So no, this isn't where I thought I would be now!

    When I was a little kid...I wanted to be a teacher. As I got closer to a teen, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon (I soooo don't have the temperment for that!!!). By the end of HS, I wanted to be a physical therapist. Then in college I wanted to be a behavioral analyst for the government. But teaching really just kept popping up.

    I decided in 1999 to go back for my Master's and get my teaching degree. I LOVE being in the classroom. My worst day teaching was better than my best day at any other job. The kids I student taught....are now in college!!!

  13. @HS - the whole thing isn't pink. I have a large pink streak in the front, and pink highlights through out. The rest is jet black. The highlights are a sickly pink right now. But they will be purple next week!!!!

    I was going to color it all back to black (my natural color is a brownish black), but G-man really wanted me to keep the highlights.

  14. What does your husband do for a living? You mentioned once that he did not go to college(I think?).

  15. @Theresa - He works for the federal government. That is about all I can say.

  16. I would love to learn a little bit more about your kids, particularly Bossy. As an elementary special education teacher and a mom of 2 (one of whom has special needs) I have a special place in my heart for kids, but especially those with special needs. What is Bossy's diagnosis? Please share whatever you are comfortable sharing. :)

  17. why did you choose the name Mysti? is it your own name or does it have a special meaning/

  18. I don't remember if you told us previously, but did you end up getting the beautiful cases for your baby twins? I remember you talking about wanting to buy them, and showing us a picture, but I can't for the life of me remember if you ended up purchasing them. Also, where do you keep them if you did buy them?

    if you had endless funds, what would be your dream Christmas gift for yourself? your family? (come on, dream. :))

  19. @Carrie - my kids really could be a post in themselves!!! Since you asked more about Bossy, I will tell you more....but I will do a post soon more about the kids!

    They are nine. Bossy is "older" by 3.5 hrs! They are like night and day, they are that different. Sassy is super sensitive about EVERYTHING, and takes everything in and holds it. So she gets overwhelmed with emotion sometimes. Bossy...doesn't know how to deal with emotion, so it tends to be more of an eruption.

    We had a feeling he was Autistic when he was about 2. We had him tested, but due to all the medical complications and prematurity, they didn't want to give him an ASD dx yet. We had him re-evaluated at 4, and he was dx ASD. He also has sensory processing disorder (he chews everything, needs to touch everything, hugs need to be HARD...but audio...he is an avoider).

    His language comprehension is low. He is verbal, but he doesn't always understand what is asked of him. He can read, but not always comprehend. His IQ was tested as part of his tri-annual at the end of 2nd grade...and it took my breath away. When you see it all in black and white, it is a hard pill to swallow.

    He is very literal and rote....routine is everything to him.

    He is funny, and sweet, and perfect.

  20. @Louise - Mysti is not my real name. It was chosen because it is a nod to my spirituality.

    @jadell - Yes, we did buy the boxes, but we never opened the box. It is still in the original packaging. We never opened even the outer packaging. Once the box came, we knew once we opened it...we would be laying the girls to rest and the finality of it all was too much. We just couldn't do it. We would have to actually look at their cremains, and see the ashes of our daughters, and we just couldn't do it.

    However, we do plan to open the box soon... probably New Years Eve. Once we place their ashes, they will stay in our bedroom for now. We don't have a place in the house where we feel safe keeping we don't want Bossy to touch them. We would really like to have a spot that is more central at some point.

    A Christmas gift to myself....if money wasn't an object...would be electrolysis in ALL the areas that I want, including my legs!!!

    For our family....probably a vacation. Maybe something like Disney.

  21. Are you happy? Happy in your marriage? How many hours do you work a week? What will be one of of your 2012 goals?

  22. @Julie - I am working on being happy. So I guess you would say....NO, I am not. I have spent a very long time trying to please everyone, and no matter what I did, it still wasn't right. I am the scapegoat of my matter what goes wrong, it somehow is my fault. My mother in law has already proclaimed to G-man that no matter who he married, she would never be good enough.

    I am done with all those toxins. I need to live for OUR family. And I am working on both individual and family changes that support that.

    As for me and G-man....this year has been horrid. Our marriage was in trouble for several years, and he refused to do anything about it. And I was too overwhelmed and scared to leave. Now that we had this major crisis in our marriage....we both are viewing things differently. He realized that alot of the problems are due to HIM. And I realized that I really will be ok on my own. But we are actively trying to work things out, and of recent, things have been much better.

    Hours per week...It is scheduled for 23...but it can vary from 20-25.

    2012 goals - still working on those. My goals don't seem to work well!!! If I had to pick one thing...although it is would be to use up all the gift cards I have that have never been spent!

  23. Wow - everything is covered!!!! Do you drink Coffee??? ;)

  24. @jpkittie - yep! I am drinking it right now. I love coffee...but it has to be flavored!

  25. Do you live in the U.S.? (I'm from London,Ontario) and if so which state? I have really enjoyed learning so much more about you! All of us should do this:)

  26. I may have missed it, but what is your degree in?

  27. @Jane - Yes, I am in the US. We are in Connecticut, about 90 min north of New York City.

    @Rhitter - My Bachelor's is in Psychology; my Master's is in Elementary Education.

  28. Okay this will be personal, but whey you found out about the affair, what was your first instinct. (to leave, to stay, to beat the shit out of her/him ha!)

  29. @Courtney - the first few hours....I was numb. Then I got ANGRY. And I did want to beat the shit out of him. And in the interest of transparency...I did slap him across the face. HARD.

    I kicked him out (it ended up being 2 months).

    I did consider running my parents. But between the kids, my relationship with my parents...I decided that was not going to be helpful in the least.

    I did consult an attorney about my rights.

    I waivered from holding it together, to being a mess. I couldn't sleep in my bed for weeks. I ended up having to buy all new bedding because what we had was tarnished (although nothing actually happened in our bed...the emails I found were quite explicit, and knowing that was what he was thinking in our bed, dreaming of, etc....was enough for me).

    I changed all the passwords to all of our accounts.

    I made him give me back his wedding ring (neither of us wear a ring right now).

    And all of this was in the first week to 10 days.