I already know where and why these feelings are creeping in. But there are here....so now I have to deal with them. It is a combination of my meds being a little off, plus having a night out and spending money, and.....I am leaving for a few days to visit a friend.
I never claimed to be Gazelle intense. And while I love to read about others who are....it does frustrate me that we can't/won't do that. I just hate to adjust our current totals and have to adjust them UP.
I am frustrated that no matter what I do, the "master" plan doesn't work. There is ALWAYS a repair that ends up being way higher than what we have set aside. The cars...I question if we should have gotten rid of them awhile ago. The order of doing things seems to be in a constant state of change.
This year has been rough. But honestly...every year is rough. 2007 was the death of our twins, along with a huge oil leak. 2008 was my miscarriage and having to replace the roof. 2009 was the death of my father-in-law, car issues, and a myriad of other things. 2010...who knows. And now....2011....marriage issues, the pool, car issues.....now having to fix Bossy's room.....
Apparently....I just suck at this getting out of debt thing. G-man made a comment the other night that really upset me....."debt is just a way of life." That spoke VOLUMES to me. While he wants to be out of debt, and is participating more in the discussions....he isn't getting it yet that this noose around our neck is just weighing down our LIFE.
Now that our medical waiver is gone...my student loan is going up....we are unable to lower our interest rates without either opening another credit card, or maybe a new Lending Club loan....it is time to revisit the budget AGAIN...and figure this out.
I know I am not getting a raise at work (state budget cuts). I know that G-man is willing to work more overtime, when it is available....but if it isn't available....there isn't much we can do. I know that we are saving for Christmas, car stuff, irregular expenses.....and we are doing the best we can.
I am just frustrated that others are pulling way ahead, and we are treading water.
So my two small things for the day to make me financially feel better are 1) continue to pack up yard sale leftovers to sell at consignment (we did a trial run on Friday, and we will probably get about what we were asking at the yard sale), and 2) I bought some bulk coupons for shampoo, which with sales...will come out to about $1 a bottle.
Pity party over.
Hang in there. I'm going thru similar stuff (unemployment going down, hubby's state job pay up in the air (they are working without a contract, looking at a strike). I am having to tell myself it's just another bump in the road. It's the potholes I don't see coming that are killing me. Keep thinking about the positives!
ReplyDeleteI hear you. It is pretty tough journey. I have my ups and downs as well. I just keep plugging away. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteCompletely understand. We both lost our jobs and have felt the world has been playing a cruel joke on us since 2008. Our troubles haven't stopped. Just keep hanging in there...it eventually has to get better!
ReplyDeleteMysti, I paid $423.00 a month for over 24 years to pay off the medical bills on our daughter. I did not feel like I could bury that baby until they were paid. Now $423.00 was a significant house payment 30 years ago. It took us until 5 years ago to be able to start to climb out. You have had significant draw backs in your life. Your kids are young, it will get better. Go ahead feel sorry for yourself, I feel sorry for you. I have been there. But you are doing the right thing. Trying, saving for the unknown. It may not be this year or next year but eventually you will get there. I'm on your side.
ReplyDeleteMysti:
ReplyDeleteI think we all have those days, weeks, months, years. The good thing is we have each other and we are all in the same boat. Yes I paid off two medical bills but I still have more to go. Each month brings its challenges and you have dealt with everything with grace and charm. I wish I could handle things the way you do.
Take a few days. Allow yourself to feel bad, and tired. Then get back up and do it again. As my granpa always said if you fall down 5 times then you get up 6(im not sure he had the saying right but you get the idea)
Judy
Don't beat yourself up, Mysti. Do the best you can each day and forgive yourself if it isn't perfect. None of us is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping our recent setback (my job lay off) will inspire us to get gazelle intense again as soon as possible.
Hang in there. You aren't alone.
~Kari
I think you are doing a great job Mysti! I love that you keep it real and post your struggles though...cause I relate to those struggles so much. The fact that you have been able to save for things like your kids camp, car expenses, and Christmas is awesome. I am still trying to figure out ways to fix my budget so I can plan for things like that. This whole thing would be a lot easier if we could just live in a bubble while we pay off our debt...but unfortunately we can't...life still happens. Mysti...thank you so much for your blog. I hope this week will be a good one for you:)
ReplyDeleteEven sticking to a Budget - whether there is surplus or not - is an achievement. I really feel for you, though. Setbacks happen - and you've had much more than your fair share, and you are dealing with circumstances most of us don't have to deal with. The situation with Student Loans and Medical costs here in Australia is just so much easier. I'm gobsmacked every time I see what some families have to deal with, especially yours. Hoping that eventually the tide will start to turn your way.
ReplyDeleteWe are all (well, most) are having the same problems financially as you are - it doesn't even have to be a repair or something for me, it is just when I get going, a few months later, I feel like I am neglecting myself & family by not doing or buying anything & I go out & spend tons of $. I need to find a way to get over that --- hopefully it comes sooner then later! hang in there, we are all right here to cheer you on on your positive strides!
ReplyDeleteEveryone has those days...Everyone. I always remind myself that you have zero clue what terrible shit is going on behind closed doors even in the most perfect of looking families.
ReplyDeleteI might consider filing for bankruptcy, if I were you. You have so much unsecured debt that could be wiped out (credit card debt, medical debt), leaving you only your student loans, mortgage and any car loans to pay.
ReplyDeleteYou have good reasons for having gotten in debt -- it sounds like life has been pretty hard these past few years. I wouldn't feel guilty about taking that step -- I see bankruptcy as the final "safety net" in our capitalist system, and one that allows people in desperate straits to get on their feet and try again.
Best of luck to you!
Mysti, I wish I could give you a hug and bake you and your kids a batch of cookies. Keep calm and carry on, love.
ReplyDelete