Tuesday, December 21, 2010

We have completely lost sight of the big picture

As I look at the credit card bills (ugh, I cannot believe we used them again.....) and what has been purchased, it is just embarrassing.

Some of it was groceries.  While not ideal, it is what it is.

The holidays on the other hand....Way too much.

I fell into a psychological trap.  Because I do the bills, I monitor all the statements.  And G-man went WAY overboard on buying (even after I talked to him about it, he still continued to spend...and still is!!).  This led to me over spending on him.  First I decided to get just "one more thing."  Then I found out that he got something from each child to give to me....so I in turn did the same.  There was another $90 just for those things.

And as I have said before, I under budgeted for a few things.  And forgot a few things.  And fell into "well, if they are buying for us.....we have to buy for them."  Add in that we were invited to holiday dinner at a friend's house (this just happened over the weekend), and they have 2 kids, so I have to get a little something for them....and this is so wildly out of proportion it is a little nauseating.

What is making me feel even worse, is the amount that G-man and I have spent on each other.  It isn't even our children!!!  It was like we tried to make up for everything we haven't done over the year.  And it is grossly too much.  I am not even going to be able to enjoy it.  Seriously.  Because I will open the gifts, and just think about the bill, and how much we have spent, and how long it will take to undo the mess.

I have been attempting to throw as much as I can at the bills as we go, just as a bandaid.  But that only goes so far.

I am not looking forward to Christmas anymore.  I am all teary just thinking about trying to pay the bills.  I want this monkey off our back.  And a month of spending is causing me more anxiety than it is worth.

I am embarassed and ashamed.


  1. Mysti - I am right there with you. My credit cards are crying as well. At least you get a Christmas. I won't even have one. My daughter is in Missouri with her father. All I have is my boyfriend, and he doesn't have the money to get me a gift. In fact, we probably won't have enough money for food and gas. Happy Freaking Christmas!

  2. Can you return any of the gifts, either now or after Christmas? Have a heart to heart with G-man, show him the bills and decide together what to keep and what to take back. You're not stuck just yet.

  3. He and I are arguing about returning things. I say return all but 1 or 2 things, and he doesn't want to. We have had 3 talks in the past month about this.

    He is justifying it by saying "it is only once a year" and "after the holidays, we will get back on track." He feels because we don't buy alot during the year we deserve this.

    I say, we will deserve it when we have enough money to cover all of it.

  4. I am right there with you. I almost fell over when I saw what is on our credit card now and just in one month. The sad part is we still need to buy things that are necessary and we will have to put them on the card. I hate that we just recently were able to pay off our credit card and now we have dumped all of christmas back on it. Enjoy the day for what it is and enjoy all the presents then back to reality in January. Have G-man sit down with you after the holidays and get his input on how to pay everything off. Maybe then it will be a wake up call. On Christmas be in the moment and forget about everything except the day.

  5. just try to enjoy your Christmas --- pick yourselves back up & get going again... and make it a plan to save more for Christmas Overboard next year... As long as you guys are happy & know that you can get back to getting things paid off, I say drop the guilt at the door & get back to business in a week ;)

  6. @Laurie - I have sat with G-man before. All he says is "it will all work out." He is comfortable letting me stress and figure it out.

    @JP - I can't enjoy it. Not like this. I REALLY wanted to have my loan paid off. I could do it if I use all of my bonus, but that will still leave all the Christmas damage. I don't agree that it is ok just to let it go, and start over "tomorrow." Today needs to be "tomorrow". As for saving for next year, that is already in the plan, but in order to save enough, it might really take a chunk out of our debt snowball.

  7. I feel your pain. We were doing so good, then Christmas hit. We stayed in budget for the most part, but totally went over in every area lately. And our phones decided to die, so we took the leap and got iphones..Luckily we get to write those off the taxes but it still hurts the wallet. And we decided to get a treadmil to start our workout plan next week. That was $550. So I totally feel your pain....So ready to get rid of all the debt...It will happen this year...

  8. Wow, are we married to the same man?? Mine says "it will all work out" or "we will figure it out in January. In the grand scheme of things he is right, but really, why not a smaller Christmas. One day!

  9. I'm sorry you feel so bummed. How wrong is it that I want to shake your husband? I know this problem goes both ways, but I still want to shake him for not seeming to get why this gets to you so much.

    It might be time to take the credit cards and hide them/freeze them.

    Much love from the hounds & me.

  10. Well, my BF snapped at me for making a comment about MAYBE buying something for niece that I knew that (a) she needed and (b) it was inexpensive, just before we sitting down to eat - in front of his mother and sister, and he is the worst offender and didn't budget to get a small gift to open in the morning or let alone a card with a nice note or something like an IOU. I made a certificate for him. Pretty much ruined my Christmas.