Wednesday, May 26, 2010

This is what happens when you think you are a doctor

I have been on medication for anxiety and depression since my daughters died in 2007 (almost 3 yrs ago).  As a teen and young adult, I was on and off meds too.

Well, a few weeks ago I ran out of meds, and no more refills.  Needed a new prescription.  Well, I was feeling pretty good, so I didn't bother to call.  The slippery slope down was gentle.  Eventually I wasn't sleeping quite as well (but of course, that is just because I am busy).  I was eating more (but that was because I was busy and therefore more hungry....).  I didn't notice the mood swings much.

And then about 5 days ago it all hit me like a ton of bricks.  I am so tired, and moody, and crabby.  And anxious, and unfocused.  OK, maybe this little experiment wasn't such a good idea....It took a few days to get in touch with my doctor, but I now have a new script and will be back on medication this evening.

I am fighting myself this afternoon because I have sooooo many ideas running through my head related to our budget.  I spent 45 minutes talking to G-man this afternoon, and he could barely follow what I was saying.  He just handed me the pill bottle.

I am attempting to crunch numbers and I am all over the place.  I start one thing....and then I get another brilliant idea and go off on a tangent.  Yeah, I am getting really far.  I have a ton of unfocused ideas.  And they all involved various combinations of things that I am not able to sort out.

Needless to say, no big decisions will be made until I am back to myself.  Meanwhile, I am going to keep trying to gather the information I need and hopefully this weekend I will be clear headed again and will be able to have a real plan.

Ugh....why did I do this to myself!!!?

4 comments:

  1. Hang in there! It's easy to forget to look after oneself when we think we're doing well. So glad your hubby was gracious enough to hand you the bottle!

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  2. Wow, I am totally amazed that you didn't flip out or have a psychotic episode or something. A friend was on meds for that and she didn't wean herself off them like you're supposed to but went cold turkey.

    I was there when she flipped out and wow, did she have a huge hissy hit and accusing people of strange things.

    Is it Lexapro and does it have horrible side affects or do you recommend it?

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  3. Nope not Lexapro. I would rather not say what I am on, but for me, it is working. I am on a low dose overall, but it is just enough to take the edge off. I really have been a mess.

    Hissy fit....um....guilty as charged. Not as bad as some of them in the past, but let's just say not one of my finer moments.

    Took my meds last night....feeling a little better all ready. Thanks for your concern!!

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  4. So sorry to hear about your loss. I couldn't imagine your pain. I would so need to be on meds if I lost one of my kids. Hope you feel better.

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