Wednesday, May 26, 2010

This is what happens when you think you are a doctor

I have been on medication for anxiety and depression since my daughters died in 2007 (almost 3 yrs ago).  As a teen and young adult, I was on and off meds too.

Well, a few weeks ago I ran out of meds, and no more refills.  Needed a new prescription.  Well, I was feeling pretty good, so I didn't bother to call.  The slippery slope down was gentle.  Eventually I wasn't sleeping quite as well (but of course, that is just because I am busy).  I was eating more (but that was because I was busy and therefore more hungry....).  I didn't notice the mood swings much.

And then about 5 days ago it all hit me like a ton of bricks.  I am so tired, and moody, and crabby.  And anxious, and unfocused.  OK, maybe this little experiment wasn't such a good idea....It took a few days to get in touch with my doctor, but I now have a new script and will be back on medication this evening.

I am fighting myself this afternoon because I have sooooo many ideas running through my head related to our budget.  I spent 45 minutes talking to G-man this afternoon, and he could barely follow what I was saying.  He just handed me the pill bottle.

I am attempting to crunch numbers and I am all over the place.  I start one thing....and then I get another brilliant idea and go off on a tangent.  Yeah, I am getting really far.  I have a ton of unfocused ideas.  And they all involved various combinations of things that I am not able to sort out.

Needless to say, no big decisions will be made until I am back to myself.  Meanwhile, I am going to keep trying to gather the information I need and hopefully this weekend I will be clear headed again and will be able to have a real plan.

Ugh....why did I do this to myself!!!?


  1. Hang in there! It's easy to forget to look after oneself when we think we're doing well. So glad your hubby was gracious enough to hand you the bottle!

  2. Wow, I am totally amazed that you didn't flip out or have a psychotic episode or something. A friend was on meds for that and she didn't wean herself off them like you're supposed to but went cold turkey.

    I was there when she flipped out and wow, did she have a huge hissy hit and accusing people of strange things.

    Is it Lexapro and does it have horrible side affects or do you recommend it?

  3. Nope not Lexapro. I would rather not say what I am on, but for me, it is working. I am on a low dose overall, but it is just enough to take the edge off. I really have been a mess.

    Hissy as charged. Not as bad as some of them in the past, but let's just say not one of my finer moments.

    Took my meds last night....feeling a little better all ready. Thanks for your concern!!

  4. So sorry to hear about your loss. I couldn't imagine your pain. I would so need to be on meds if I lost one of my kids. Hope you feel better.