I so appreciate everyone who has dropped me a line privately or touched base here. It means so much to me that I am still thought of, even as I lay low.
It has been 7 weeks since I posted, and just wanted to give a brief update.
The house has not sold. We have had 1 showing, a broker's open house (where the comments were on things we can't change...like the size of the bedrooms), and a regular open house (attended by one nosy neighbor). We will be taking the house off the market in mid December and trying again in the spring. We are trying not to rent it out as this will add several layers of complications that we are not ready to entertain. If the house does not sell in the spring, we will have to reassess.
Meanwhile, G-man will be leaving the Saturday after Thanksgiving. He will be staying with my parents indefinitely while the kids and I are staying behind. We are hoping that by summer we can all be together. We will be putting up a small Christmas tree before he goes, but everyone is bummed that we won't be together for the holidays. And the kids are additionally bummed that many of our family traditions are being shelved for the year.
Financially, we are not sure how this is going to play out. We won't know what his new paycheck will look like until the end of December (because of the delay between the end of the pay cycle and payday). We are losing his night differential but the taxes aren't as high. Plus, the locality pay isn't as high. So we have to wait and see.
We will be contributing toward household bills in NC, plus dealing with CT bills. His gas for his car should go down some. But his food bill may go up because of complications with my parents. While trying to nail down a monthly cost with them, they basically said "whatever you think is fair." I am sure this is going to bite us in the butt. And when I brought up a "contract," I was met with resistance.
We probably won't see G-man for several months. We plan to take a few hundred from our tax return towards a plane ticket home in April. And we will need to fly him home when we move the household...so we can't spare much for frequent trips (about 15 hrs to drive...each way).
So it will be me and the kids on our own for awhile. Just in time for winter. Yip. Pee.
I am really happy you updated us! I really miss your posts....
ReplyDeleteI am sorry. People want everything when they buy a house and try and nickle and dime you to death.
ReplyDeleteIs there any way to cut the price of the house considering that you will need to pay for your dh to live away from you? Cheryl
We have limited room to lower the price. I should have put in that we will probably drop the price about 4k in the spring. However, that only gives us 5k room of negotiation to the bottom price we can take to just clear the mortgage. At that price....we walk away with nothing, which we are ok with. We just can't bring money to the closing table.
DeleteSo glad you updated us. I hope things work out.
ReplyDeleteHope things go okay with him living with your parents. Is it too far for your husband to drive home for Christmas?
ReplyDeleteSpring is the best time to sell usually so hopefully that proves true for you.
Yes, way too far. 800 miles, and anywhere from 13-15 hrs drive time, without traffic. Each way.
DeleteThanks for the update! It's good to hear from you. Super bummer on the house. I'm sure something will work out. Selling a house is tough. And everybody wants champagne features on a beer budget. And then some. Sending happy thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting us know how you are doing. I think about you all the time. This just sucks. I will pray that things turn out better. Keep your spirits up I know it is hard. I wish I could do something. to help. We will talk later about the house, are there things your realtor suggested you do?
ReplyDeleteNothing to do to the house. The negatives are all things we can't control. People want a totally upgraded house...they don't want to do the work.
DeletePeople will complain about things JUST to get you to drop your price. Or, they don't want you to think they cannot afford the house by making you feel bad about what you cannot change. If the realtor has only showed your house once, it is time to get a new realtor.
DeleteIt wasn't even our realtor who showed the house! I could go on and on about our complaints about the realtor, but we have a contract with him until March. The plan is to not renew with him when we put the house back on the market. He has failed to follow through on just about everything.
DeleteI was told that the people who are looking at houses this time of the year are the ones that need to buy, I wouldn't take it off the market but I would only do showing by appointment only, you never know, you might get luck that way. I've check back every couple days, it was good to see you posted something. Take care and good luck.
ReplyDeleteWe are appointment only now. Because the kids are alone at times, we can't have people just walk in. If we keep it on the market through the winter, all that will happen is we increase days on the market. The longer it is on the market. ..the less likely we are to sell because people will think something is wrong with it. Or they will low ball the offer.
DeleteMy realtor was furious that he could not have a key to come and go as he pleased. My three children and I were living here while my husband had moved to a new job. I often left my daughter here while I ran to the store for an item or two, taking the baby and older son was at a friend's house. My daughter always just took a nap. I did not want someone walking in on her in bed or with just the older child watching the others. He did not like me anyway since I was taking the claw foot tub and he lied about that being illegal.
DeleteOur realtor started out so gung ho and it fizzled quickly. Now we only hear from him if we initiate it. All he tells us is that it is a tough market. I don't want to trash him, but he isn't the one for us.
DeleteI would love any advice on the long distance marriage/kids! How long were you apart?
Feel free to email me at mysti1031 AT yahoo DOT com if you don't want to rehash it all here!
I'm so glad you posted an update! Sorry that you weren't able to bring better news, but glad that overall everything is going ok. Hope you're doing well. It'll all work out in the end.
ReplyDeleteI've missed your blogging. That's a super bummer about your house but I have confidence that this whole situation will work out in your favor in the long run.
ReplyDeleteI've missed your updates as well. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Hoping all works out in your favor.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that your house didn't sell. As a military wife, I am no stranger to long distances nor are my friends. I have a friend whose husband is in Korea for a year and she and her 2 children (both under 5 years old) are back home in the U.S. (This isn't meant to come off as a sob story or a "look how tough the military has it"- just facts and I guess stating my experience with long distance :0) ) A big thing is communication. I would suggest making a scheduled skype /face time date for you and the kids. Maybe pick a specific time every day or week. I would also consider sending little care packages. It doesn't have to be anything special maybe some local items that he can't get in NC just to let you know you care every once in a while. Letter writing has become outdated I know but it shows that you took the time to let him know how you are doing. Getting a letter in the mail from you might be nice. It reminds them that they have not been forgotten and you are thinking about them. I know my one friend tries to document/ make videos of events that her husband might miss out in. In your case, if your son or daughter has an awards ceremony or maybe a special event. Maybe if they get a good grade on a paper or a large assignment you could send him a copy. Just little things like that might help him to stay connected to what is going on back home. One other thing, if you don't have one in place I would highly suggest getting a Power of Attorney for his affairs. You might not think about it but little things might pop up that you will need to have the ability to sign for him (taxes are the first thing I can think of if you go somewhere to get them done, contracts, insurance, etc.) I used my POA several times when my husband was deployed. Granted you will be able to contact your husband a lot easier but it might just come in handy. Hope some of these ideas help. It is tough but knowing that your husband is safe and making this change for your family will help to keep things in perspective. Just remember that not every day will be easy, some days it will seem like one thing after another is happening to you, but you are strong and you will get through it. It is ok to get angry or annoyed- doing it on your own isn't easy but it will be worth it in the long run. When things seem to be going wrong just take a deep breath and allow yourself to take a break. This will also be a good time to start giving your children some more responsibilities (if possible) and explain how you will need their help as well in order to help keep things running smoothly. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you for all those excellent ideas...esp the POA!
DeleteHappy to hear from you, sad the house hasn't sold. Hoping things look up soon for you :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for the update! Praying that your house sells soon!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear from you!! Sorry the house hasn't sold yet but I'm sure it will! Don't stress being alone with the kids too much-- try and change the perspective so that it's an adventure. It'll help all of you out. And maybe since you're shelving a bunch of traditions you can come up with a couple of very special limited edition one year only traditions. Just to change it up a bit and not be totally in a funk. Good luck! Email me whenever!
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