Tuesday, March 4, 2014

40 before 40

I mentioned a few weeks ago that turning 40 is bothering me.  I know it shouldn't.  I know it is a number and it is all in the outlook.  But, never the less....it is bothering me.

Someone hit the nail on the head....it is about what I thought my life would be at this age.  Some of it is exactly as I pictured:  married, kids, house.  Some of it isn't anywhere close: job, debt, physical appearance.

After ALOT of thought on this....I decided that if I want my 40's to be better than my 30's (which had few highlights, and alot of life changing, terrible things), I have just over one year to get prepared.  As of today, I have 14 months until I turn 40 (not that I am counting!).  So I started a list of things I would like to do in the coming months.  I don't know if I will be able to do them all....but how freaking cool would it be if I did?????  I actually started formulating this list several few weeks ago, but am just sharing it with you now.  So technically, I have already started working on it.

There is something I want to do for my 40th.  It is entirely for me.  I have only told my BFF, and she said she will come out here for "it" (not my bday, but for my thing I want to do.....peaked your interest yet?  Get over it....not sharing.).  I am not going to use this as a reward....I am going to do it one way or the other.  I just think that the work I put into it will show.

Individually, each item has its merit (mostly).  Some of you will disagree with some items....all items....whatever.  I just know that 40 is coming, and I want to use this last year in my 30's to start the reboot process so that my 40's can be so much more than they would be if I just stayed on this path.  

This list is in no particular order.  Some of these items are to force me out of my comfort zone....some are just silly and I just want to see if I can do it.  And some are to shape who I am striving to be.  Some things, by their nature, come before something else.  Some of these things cost money....some don't.  (No, I don't have a plan on how to pay for the ones that cost money....just go with the spirit of the post, ok?)

So I give you.....my 40 before 40 list.

  1. Have debt below 40k (per What's the Cost, it will be around $44k by our current plan....)
  2. Lose 40 lbs
  3. Run a 5k
  4. Get new glasses (mine are 8 years old and probably 4 prescriptions old).
  5. Perform 15 Random Acts of Kindness (One down, 14 to go)
  6. Learn to count to 10 in 5 languages-English and Spanish don't count (I can count to 5 in Japanese so far...)
  7. Get my teeth cleaned 2x (I am terrible about doing this!)
  8. Visit a new state (right now Vermont is in the lead)
  9. Take one day off and completely "unplug" (no phone, unless kid emergency, no computer, no tv)
  10. Grow my crystal collection by 3 pieces
  11. Have my tarot read
  12. Have a past life regression reading
  13. Make 20 new recipes (One down, 19 to go)
  14. Eat Vegetarian for 1 week
  15. Buy a pair of sneakers that are NOT white (I have NEVER owned sneaker that aren't white!!)
  16. Get mole removed from back of neck (it has been there since I was a kid).
  17. Post a picture of me on the blog......*sigh*
  18. Have one day where I don't talk (if you knew me, you would know that this is a CHALLENGE)
  19. Get a Coach wallet
  20. Get my Swagbucks total to 30,000 (currently 20,444)
  21. Polish my toenails once a month - not a salon pedicure, just at home (February...Check!)
  22. "Decorate" my washing machine and dryer
  23. Figure out what to do with our alcove area (this will be a separate post with pictures)
  24. Have a one on one "date" with each of my kids
  25. Have at least 3 dates (not running errands without kids) with my husband (easier said than done)
  26. Purge 100 items
  27. Find a new job
  28. Read 15 new-to-me books (2 down, 13 to go)
  29. Wear a skirt/dress to work at least once a month (February...Check!)
  30. Finish all those "grown up" things I have been avoiding: life insurance, will
  31. Have naturally tanned legs (I know, I know...terrible)
  32. Figure out how to use Twitter (I started...I stink at it!)
  33. Finish my "control journal" for the house
  34. Have my eyebrows threaded
  35. Go camping
  36. Have 50 no-spend days
  37. Get a small tattoo (I have one already)
Those last 3 are for you to help me with.......I am looking for suggestions.  They can be almost anything!!  I know it should go without saying but.....nothing harmful or dangerous.....nothing that will sabotage the over all spirit of the list, or sabotage personal relationships or goals.....and nothing that is illegal.  Leave me a suggestion (or more than one if you are inspired), and I will pick 3 that intrigue me.

This post will become a "page" at the top of the blog for future reference.  I plan on periodically updating my progress with you all. Wish me luck, skill, and fun!


  1. How about try a new drink of food once a month?

    Post a new blog or website once a week/month?

    1. Maybe finding a new blog to read monthy and introducing them here could work....thanks!

  2. This is super indulgent but I think you deserve it. Schedule a shopping trip with a personal shopper on your 40th birthday. Before you say no, take some time and think about it. Several stores offer it now and it is free service (I did it at Nordstrom and a friend of mine did it at Macys and it is both free and you are not even allowed to tip). I know it is money but as I see it you have 2 birthdays and 1 Christmas in between plus 1 mother's day where people can get you gift cards to which ever store you want to do it at. Also you set the budget, not the store and there is no pressure; you can buy whatever you want and leave whatever you want.

    The way it worked for me was that I contacted the store with the date and time and then I talked over the phone and via email with the personal shopper of what I was looking for and what my budget was. One tip I would give you is when you are describing your style is to send them links to the types of things you would wear vs. not wear. I was also very upfront with them - like no I won't spend $100 on a blouse and that $30 was more my range. I wanted everything machine washable. When I got to the store, I have a private dressing room with all the items already in the room. They pulled stuff I gave them plus items they thought I would like and a few things outside of my comfort zone. As I tried stuff on, I gave them feedback and they pulled a few new items while I was trying on other things. Here is the fun part - I told myself my budget was X - and if the items I liked when totaled were under that amount then I could buy whatever I wanted as long as it fit in my budget - so I did spend more money on a couple items than I normally would if I bought them any other time but the compliments were endless and I got items well out of my comfort zone which changed my style a bit overall.

    Maybe use this as an incentive for your weight loss goal too. Take your girlfriend when she is in town and make a day of it.

    1. OOOHHH....fun! I may have to modify it a bit though. My "present" to myself is really indulgent, and will need to be paid for in currency other than gift cards....so I will have to see. But the idea sound fun!!

      And my BFF won't be here FOR my bday....but she will come out when I do my special indulgence...which will probably be over the summer.

  3. I turn (God willing) 40 next year as well. I have never been overly anxious about it. I have never been a goal person. In fact, I have never set a goal, ever. Not sure why. Not big on failure, so maybe that has something to do with it :) In fact, as I get older, I just add more things to the list of things I will not do any longer. Fly on a plane, nope. Roller coasters(as of this past summer), nope. Heights of any kind, nope. Life gets less thrilling for me as the years go on and I am totally cool with it.

    1. I am trying to break out of my comfort zone....but I hear ya on things I won't do any more!!

  4. I don't know what religion(if any) you are, but thought maybe you could think of something of a spiritual nature to add to your list.
    Maybe I will make a list for myself soon! What a fun idea.

    1. I really don't participate in any organized religion...although I do have an alternative belief system. I struggled with adding something like this to the list...more because I have no idea what it would actually be.

  5. Write a letter to each of your kids recapping their childhood thus far. Talk directly to each one and tell them things that they have done that you loved, things that you are proud of them for. Then go on to encourage them to try new things (not dangerous ones, lol) and to reach for the stars. You can give this letter to them at graduation or something similar.

    Something that is on my 'bucket list' is to visit all of the KY state parks. Hubby and I have been to three and there are so many more. Hiking and sightseeing are great here. So many beautiful places.

    I turned 40 over a year ago and I can tell you, this has been the best decade yet and I'm only one year into it. Loving life.

  6. I am 42 and I remember that when I hit the 40 mark, I was able to think that most of the bad times were behind us as a family. Our credit was in the pits, we were in debt up to our eye balls in our 30's and had been through the ringer with some of my husband's mental health problems. Since then, we have managed to lower our debt, raise the kids (they are older teens now), manage our home and well, come a ways in our old habits. I am 42 now, I think that the future is ahead of me, and it's looking pretty good. I hope you met you goals,

    1. My husband is 42, and I am hoping once we both hit the 40s, we can OFFICIALLY say that the turbulance is behind us. Of course...who knows what the future will bring...but I am hoping that we are on an upward swing.

  7. Haha. But you're not even 39 yet! Like a song in Spanish goes... "don't take years off your life. Put life in your years, that's a better choice." I had to laugh at some of the goals. They're all good and funny. I'd have to challenge myself to TALK outside of work. Some days, especially when I'm not working, I have to talk to myself just to make sure I can still talk/hear. It's quiet. Sorry, no suggestions. I know that if I wanted to do something, it'd be to try cosplay at anime conventions. I'm the kind of weirdo to enjoy that.

    1. Hey, I am a planner! Why wait to panic when we can start right now?!! LOL

      I talk all the time...obviously my "no talking" day will have to be at home...or curtailed to "outside of office". So I think a day of quiet would be good for me.

      I am not into Cosplay or Anime...but have you watched the show on Syfy that was about it? Also, on Face Off on Syfy...they had Anime night last night. I fell asleep in the middle, so I will have to see the creations next week.

  8. Forty is wonderful so is fifty, I am not so sure about 60? You have a great list and in the next 14 months that will change and you will add and delete.

    1. I am holding you to the whole 49 is wonderful thing....

  9. I like your list Mysti!! Can't wait to see your picture lol


    1. I knew you would! What. ..no suggestions?

  10. I don't have any suggestions, but I did #9 for 24 hours in November I think, and it was quite freeing. Trying to make it a weekly occurrence.

    1. I sometimes need to force myself into quiet mode....

  11. . . . roku, shichi, hachi, kyu, jyu. Now you can count to 10 in Japanese!

    My husband gave me a beautiful red Coach wallet 15 years ago and it barely looks worn in spite of daily use - I still get all sorts of compliments on it. Treat yourself and consider it an "investment."

    Love your list. Turning 50 was the hard one for me; 60 was easier.

    1. Hahaha...I will have to practice my Japanese....

      I have a wallet picked out but it is very conservative. But I adore it! If the stripe was in a better color. ..I would swoon .

  12. Wow! You've inspired me to make changes before I hit 40 too! I havejust over 3 yrs to go.

    1. Love it! And if you have 3 years....just think of some of the things you could do!!!

  13. Now you got the French(with how it's pronounced in parentheses).....

    un(un),deux(do),trois(twa),quatre(kat),cinq(sank),six(cease),sept(set),huit(wheat),neuf (nuf),dix(dees)

    1. Thanks! I will practice!

      I have no idea why I want to be able to count to 10 in other languages...like, why not pick a phrase....or when will I ever use this....I dunno....just thought it would be something to expand my horizons.

      So I have Japanese and French to work on....I know one morewill be Russian...but I am open for suggestions on the other 2....

    2. Mysti: A great phrase to know in as many languages as possible is: "I don't understand." Or, you could go for learning "I don't speak ___________ " in 10 different languages. ;-)

    3. Very helpful phrase....but c'mon...we can think of a much more FUN one, right? ;)