Having to Save, wanting to "Spend"

I posted the other day about my savings account that has "extra" money in it, but I haven't used it.  Several of you said you have to do what feels right, and the security I have of keeping that money is worth alot more than the monetary value.

Well, now we have another pile of money....the tax return.

We (ok....I) was convinced we were going to owe something, so we (I) put some money aside for this.  $200.  I opened an ING checking account with this money, and made my 10 debit purchases (all gas, which I transferred back into the account as soon as I got home from the pump), and earned another $125.

Then we ended up getting $1,222 back in taxes, which added to the aforementioned $325, brings us to $1,547.  YAY!!!  Of this money....$290 went to misc medical bills, and $302 went to G-man's plane ticket for his guy weekend (which was agreed upon way before the government decided to Sequester).  Leaving $955 in the kitty.

About $300 is earmarked for the guy weekend, although I hope he doesn't need that much.  So now we are down to $655 remaining.

And now, that money sits.  Because I am afraid to use it.  We planned on putting some in the car maintenance fund to beef it up a bit, some to debt, and some to Sassy's bedroom project (which so far really hasn't started other than taking down the pictures and border paper she didn't like anymore....which was free).  Anything that was left from guy weekend would also have gone to debt, but guy weekend isn't until late April....so nothing I can predict on that one.

I am so convinced that the pay cut looming from the Sequester is going to be long term, that I can't use the money, even though the majority of it was for fiscally responsible reasons.  Gas prices have gone up, so we are spending more on gas.  We still have bills to pay.  We still have debt.  The Sequester doesn't care.....

Now I am frustrated.  I WANT to pay something off or down (for the record....the misc medical bill that is at $70....that gets paid out of the next paycheck, so I am not really counting that in my head right now).  I love that we have finally started to make some headway....and now I am afraid to use that money.

I am really hoping that we don't lose too much pay, and that my paydown plan is just temporarily on hold.  I am trying to accept that the larger projects are already gone, and now...I can't even have that wonderful feeling of making a big payment (or even a small one, but has some significance).

I don't want to use that money and then wish I hadn't.  So I must be patient.  GRRR.