If you have to pay for something.....are you more likely to hold it in a more valuable place, vs something that was given to you free?
I already know that at school, I am in the minority for some of my views regarding events for this year. I have the backing of several staff, but I am now battling parents.
The kids are in 5th grade, which here means it is their last year of elementary school. Several years ago (probably around the time my kids were born), a group of parents decided that it would be nice to mark the occasion with a "yearbook." The book was small....pictures of all the kids through the years, some pages to sign. It was photocopied.
Over the past 10 years....the 5th grade celebrations have grown out of proportion to the the occasion. The year book is now over $1200 to produce...it is in color, and is hard bound. There are multiple socials, and special events....all because the kids are going to middle school next year.
People....this is not an accomplishment. It is a milestone. Keep this in mind. These kids haven't "worked" and "toiled".....none of these kids said to themselves "gee, I hope I pass 5th grade." It is part of their schooling....but they didn't WORK for it.
So, I am trying to scale things back this year. Smaller yearbook, less events. (Last year...it there multiple socials, year book signing party, graduation). I know this isn't going to go over well.
My plan is to actually show everyone what this costs per child. Last year....it was about $60-$70 PER KID. If you aren't willing to fork that much over...then the events are too much. Let's scale it back to a point where everyone is comfortable, and if we can fund raise to offset it, then great. And if not, then everyone knows they are going to have to pony up.
There were a core group of people who did the fundraising, and by extension....spent the most money. They more or less paid for all the other kids who did nothing (or more specifically, the families who did nothing). And why should those families do anything...they were getting a free ride.
Nope...everyone has to have a vested interest. You think that the kids who just got it all handed to them appreciated it? No...they have just come to expect it. No.
Maybe I need to be one of these parents who sit back and get the free ride....see how the other half lives!!!
I refuse to buy my kids a yearbook for elementary school. It is ridiculous. My daughter is in highschool this year, so I will let her order one.
ReplyDeletePeople who do not pay, should not receive a yearbook, plain and simple.
The yearbook issue is only a part of the problem. Last year it was all in color and hardbound. Do these parents really think that these kids TREASURE this?
DeleteAdd in the socials and the events...ugh.
High School is a different animal all together. But even then....let's keep some perspective.
I am a rare one. I whole-heartedly treasure my elementary yearbook. I have a reason though.
ReplyDeleteI do not agree that it should be as big of a deal as you are saying - sort of pathetic. I do think that a majority of the parents who don't do anything, do not expect so much.
My story on the yearbook. I only have the the one from my first grade. I moved out of state then and they were not handed out for subsequent years. Then, as an adult, I hauled from apartment to apartment and met a man. A wonderful man. This wonderful man married me and was in fourth grade when I was in first. He is in my elementary yearbook.
I love it because it shows how small our worlds are and almost how we were meant to be (if you believe in that sort of thing). I know this is unusual though.
That is a very sweet story. And as I said...it isn't that I think that there shouldn't be ANYTHING....let's just tone it back.
DeleteBut in reality, the majority of these yearbooks will end up under the bed...never to be seen again. I think it is the parents who want it...it is a trip down Memory lane for them.
Colour me clueless... I had no idea there were yearbooks for elementary schools! lol! I have my highschool yearbooks in storage somewhere... lol!
ReplyDeleteI have High School and College yearbooks...in a box in my attic.
DeleteI do have an elementary school yearbook, and an 8th grade one....somewhere. No idea where!
Yes, and would you like to hear about the social, the OTHER social, the yearbook signing party, and Graduation????? FOR 5th GRADE!!!!
I know it makes the kiddies feel nice to have yearbooks... at least those that care, but I never quite understood why make it such a big deal. It is a milestone, and under the current edu system, it is not even an achievement.
ReplyDeleteYou will always get a group of parents who have these great ideas and then they grow out of control. Usually the parents have more money than the other parents. Someone will eventually have to say stop. It might as well be you.
ReplyDelete5th grade is our graduation here too. We have a color, hard cover yearbook which is $25 if you buy it. I've switched off on the kids getting it and try not to have them destroy it. Our school has a 5th grade celebration (one) and last year it was a bbq on the playground. Our PTN is wonderful I will say but not overboard.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's not an accomplishment at this age (for most kids). Parents make things into such a big deal what will the kids expect for the things that are meant to be accomplishments?
I read your posts about PTA and now this one, and I'm really trying to understand, but I must have barely missed it. Are you resenting that some parents don't pay for things like the yearbook, or that they don't do enough to make the fundraisers work? Or do you think the yearbook is too expensive (ours are paperback but color-printed and glossy, and we pay about $20 for them, maybe $30.) Maybe some parents are short on resources (money) and maybe they work two jobs or have a lot of responsibilities at home and can't do a lot of volunteering for fund-raisers. I don't think there should be a lot of activities or items that kids traditionally participate in that cost money because some families can easily afford paying/donating time and others can't afford much at all, and it makes some kids feel really left out.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is that each year the activities and the book get bigger and bigger. So each year more and more money is required, vs cutting things back to a more managable size.
DeleteI think that the yearbook should be an optional purchase. What has happened is that the class have been trying to fundraise the entire cost. So now other people are paying for the book. Additionally, they want everyone else to pay for socials, graduation, and more.
I might not be clear on some of this because there is ALOT that goes into all of this. The bottom line is that there isn't any reason that things have to be so overblown. Other than a bunch of parents who think that their kid deserves everything under the sun.
I didn't know they had yearbooks for elementary school either. I think that if my school had had that, my parents would have told me that I would have to pay for it myself. Because I think that kids who have to put their own resources towards things do value those things more and maybe are more careful with those resources. I think your instinct to scale back is good as it's appropriate to mark the milestone and the occasion of a class moving on to other schools. But not excessively.
ReplyDeleteWhen parents go overboard and try to make every milestone in their kids lives a BIG EVENT, it makes the really special milestones just another event by comparison and takes away from the significance of the big milestones. IE-High School graduation is just another ho-hum thing to attend if they have had a Kindergarten Graduation, an Elementary Graduation and Middle School Graduation. By the time High School Graduation rolls around, the kids are burnt out of graduating!lol
ReplyDeleteIt's the same way I look at Christmas and presents.....if you give your kid stuff(non-necessary wants, not needs)all year, when they ask for it, then getting presents at Christmas is NOT as special. You could also say that giving them LOTS of presents at Christmas instead of a couple of well considered special presents is another version of this 'overdoing' for their kids by parents.
Let's get back to picking and choosing our milestones that need what I consider "over the top" treatment.
Having them come every year not only cheapens the important ones but it causes stress on families already tight budgets!
My son is in Kindergarden and we already have 2 yearbooks for him!!! They are from his 2 years in Pre-school. They are glossy pages some color, some black & white spiral bound. We don't pay for them they just come home the last day at school. The school sells ads to local businesses so I guess that covers the costs. Parents can buy "ad" space too for a special message to thier kid.
ReplyDeleteOur kids have yearbooks, but if they want one, they have to buy one... I think they are about $15 (small school, small yearbook). We are only a PreK-2nd grade school, but even when I worked at a K-5 school, we didn't do anything huge for the 5th graders. They had an assembly at the end of the year to receive their certificate, and that was it. The 5th grade teacher always made bookmarks for the kids, but they were not given a party or anything like that. It seems absurd to spend that much money on end of the year stuff for 5th graders.
ReplyDeleteI do not see the point of a yearbook for Grade 5. It's a costly thing getting your kids through school without having to take out a second mortgage nowadays.
ReplyDeleteGukk
The Princess's elementary yearbooks were hardbound, as were all subsequent ones. The expense was ridiculous but I didn't think twice back then. However, looking back, I kind of wish I had all that money back. By her senior year, the events had grown to monstrous proportions. I finally drew the line on ridiculous donations when they had a last day of finals barbque and the parents organizing had done up exensive invitatons and requested "donations" of $20 per student. The Princess doesn't even EAT barbeque. So, I cheaped out and sent $5 to cover the cost of the soft drink and chips I figured she'd eat at the party and that's it. I had to draw the line somewhere.
ReplyDelete