Something I recently "discovered" is that my mom has a Narcissistic Personality. I have always known that she can be self-centered, but it was only recently that I had an actual name for what was going on. And I have also discovered that the wounds that I have from this type of upbringing run deep. I am really struggling to break free of it all.
So....last Monday evening, while I was at occupational therapy with the kids, my dad called. I am very good at detecting variances in my parents' voices, and before he said much of anything....I said "you aren't coming, are you?" DAMN IT. Sorry for the swear.....and if that offends anyone. But this was the second time in a ROW that they cancelled a trip with less than 24 hrs notice.
Well, it turns out that my aunt passed away. (Before everyone says I am sorry....I wasn't close with her, never was.This was my mom's brother's wife.) She had been ill, so this wasn't a surprise. The timing was something I hadn't planned of course. At that time (Monday evening), my parents knew just about nothing. The funeral arrangements were being done on Tuesday, so it would be at least another day before we knew anything.
I had to call my brother, who as it turns out...wasn't having a great day already. And I got to make it even better. His car broke down, so now he would have to fly here for the funeral. $$$. Plus, we didn't even know when the funeral was yet. Oh, and we were "guessing" that the funeral would be Wednesday....which was his birthday.
Now, I should mention that my aunt and uncle live about 2-2.5 hrs away by car from me.
I mention this, because my parents decided that they were going to stay with my uncle for a week. Not come here. Dad mentioned coming here by himself at the end of the week, and I pulled the plug on that (which was a good thing with all the stuff that was about to happen). He isn't well, too much travel, the weather was going to be brutal (it was 99 degrees for 2 days, and we don't have great air conditioning).
Oh, and by staying with my uncle....they were kicking him out of his bed. The man just lost his wife, and my parents were perfectly fine letting him sleep on the sofa. *shake head*
Tuesday morning, I tried to get in touch with my parents. Voicemail all around. I suspected that they were on a plane (Heaven forbid they actually let me know what they are doing). The question at that point....where were they going? We had talked about them flying to CT as planned, and then going to NY, just in case they couldn't get a flight to NY. When last we spoke, they said they weren't coming to CT. But I wouldn't put it past them to arrive in CT and be mad that I wasn't there to pick them up.
Enter my BFF who is a travel agent. So she did her blippity blip typity type....and tracked them down! HA! Oh, she and I are dangerous together. She confirmed that they were on the 10am flight to NY. I texted my dad and asked why is it so hard to just send me a note and let me know what is going on.....*sigh*
I get a call from Dad around Noon....telling me that the funeral was indeed on Wednesday, at 10am (which meant I had to leave my house at 6am....). Now, he called me from the shuttle bus, and was having a hard time hearing me. I mentioned that Bro and I sent an Edible Arrangement to the house (in Jewish funerals, there are no flowers....people send food.). And he said something that didn't make sense. So I repeated myself, and again, he didn't answer in a way that made sense.
So I said "Dad, if you can't hear me, and all you are going to say is OK, then let's talk later." He said, and I quote...."BEHAVE."
EXCUSE ME??? You are reprimanding me???? Oh no....now it is on.