Monday, November 21, 2011

Part of learning to accept and change some things...the long winded Holiday edition

I spent a good deal of time Christmas shopping on-line yesterday.  I kicked butt!!!  I am almost done, and managed to pay minimal shipping charges.  I found what I wanted within the price range I wanted to stay.  I have a few things left to get....but considering it is Thanksgiving week, all is good.

I am behind on my holiday cards.  The kids both need haircuts.  And Sassy is sick.  So pictures will have to wait.  I usually like to have them out by December 10.  But if it doesn't doesn't happen. 

We usually get our tree the second weekend of December.  Well, that weekend is crazy busy.  We have 2 parties to go to.  And the kids have half days of school for the 3 days leading up to it.  And I have an all hands staff meeting that week.  Too crazy.  So we will get the tree early.  It will be dead as a door nail by New Years.  Oh well.

I decided to try and use up the holiday wrapping, ribbon, and bags that I already have.  Most of it I don't like.  Which is why I still have it hanging around (most of the wrapping paper was purchased by my Mom years ago and I inherited it when she moved.  And the gift bags are my Mother-in-law's favorite gift giving vessel, and I save them....even though I don't like them).  I posted last year about how much I love wrapping gifts and why I do it.  And I still feel that way.  But I also want to use up what I have and not spend any more money than I have to.  I know I will feel sad as I wrap things in paper I hate....but it needs to be done this year.  I need to compromise this year and try not to buy something unless I really need it (like I know I need tissue paper).  I will probably get some stuff I like when it is on clearance after the holidays, but I am going to try and get rid of all the stuff I have already this year.

I got an invitation to a holiday party hosted by my Dad's cousins (yes, they are my cousins too....).  And I usually go with the kids (G-man usually has to work), and I am miserable.  It is a long drive.  The kids (particularly Bossy) gets way over stimulated, and by the time we get to gifts, he is out of control.  Last year I missed Sassy opening her gifts because I was wrestling Bossy in the spare room as he was out of control.  I love family...but these people, although blood related (or I should say some are....there are lots of people there)...are not my FAMILY.  These are the people I see once a year.  And otherwise, have no contact with.  I have gone out of obligation.  And I am not doing it this year.  I need to be who I am....and pretending to enjoy this is not it.  I don't follow the same religious practice as I was raised in, and having to pretend for the day, and then having to explain it all to the kids....nah.  Not this year.

Lastly...there has been a piece of my spirituality that has been lacking for a long time.  It is time for me to really embrace that. This year, I will do that.  I am starting to plan my Yule celebration, and am excited to do so.

And there ya go.....anyone else have things they are accepting and/or changing for this year?



  1. You sound really busy! I hope stuff slows down for you. And I'm really jealous that you've done so much present shopping.

  2. I told my sister and brother that this is the year that gift giving stops. Every year this needed to be said, and wasn't. We are all on tight budgets and so I told them. I hate the thought of someone buying me something because they feel obligated. I would rather they buy themselves something.

    As someone who works in various group homes with individuals with Autism, I can so appreciate your not wanting to go to the family gathering. Really, it is unfair to your son to have to go to something that clearly stresses him. The one lady I work with often ends up having a PRN for behavioural control, which could have been avoided with some foresight. Autism + loud, chaotic environments = full blown behaviour.
    Good for you for avoiding the stress this year.

    Hope things slow dow enough for you to enjoy the holidays.

  3. This year I am going to stop trying so hard to shop, shop, shop. I don't enjoy it. I don't want to spend the money. We will see. But i agree with your not going to your cousins. If you do not enjoy it and it is hard on the kids, don't go. I figured out in my early 40's not to hang around people that I don't enjoy!

  4. For me - the most important thing is seeing my daughter. I will get her a few things, but beyond that, my goal is to enjoy the 10 days she will be here.

  5. We used to drive 4.5 hours in order to spend Christmas with my two sisters. But last year we stayed home and it was much more, never again! And usually the weather is really bad as they live in the Muskoka snowbelt which was really stressful. So from now on we are staying home and visiting our relatives who live in our city. Strange what we do out of familial obligation. Now I just want to please MYSELF!

  6. We also have a quiet Christmas. Its only us and one bachelor uncle. As for shopping and wrapping being done just gives you a sense of peace and time to enjoy it.

    And good for you for not going. Why go somewhere if you have to pretend to be someone your not or somewhere that upsets your child. Peace and harmony are much more important


  7. Good for you for declining to go to the party that you don't really enjoy! My parents are doing something similar this year - basically saying no to invites from family who have nothing to do with us on the other 364 days of the year. I think saying yes to the things that we don't enjoy or that mean little to us is what makes the holidays so dang stressful to begin with.

    But I do hope you find some fabulous holiday paper on sale after Christmas. :) And I'm so jealous of you for having your shopping almost done before Thanksgiving! I have not even started, but I think this year's shopping will be simple. Hopefully!

  8. I'm accepting that there will be no additional $$$ put towards debt, but I'm reasonably sure I can get through Christmas on cash only.

    I am also planning on using what I've got in terms of Christmas paper and such this year. I just don't have the extra money to put towards it if I can avoid it. Just think though, after Christmas when stuff ends up 75% off, maybe you can pick up some paper you LOVE to put away for next year! That is a least something to look forward to!