The initial anger has subsided (but does flare up!!!), and we have moved into hurt. I am just soooo hurt.
Our next big hurdle is figuring out some sort of living situation. He has been sleeping on his friend's couch, and they (he and his wife, whom G-man works with both of them), said he can stay as long as he wants. But that isn't a solution.
I am not ready for him to come home. But we can't afford for him to PAY to stay somewhere. One night was one thing....but long term won't work.
He must be using cash that he has on him (from what, I am not sure) to eat. There have been no charges (other than the one night at the motel) on our debit card or credit cards. No withdrawals. So I have no idea what he is doing.
Right now he is sorry......and wants to make US work. But I am afraid that if we start to rebuild, anger and resentment on his side will build, and erupt, and THEN he goes hog wild on stuff....making up for years of not having stuff......
I am finally able to sleep, and realizing how TIRED I am. I have tried to eat, and it is making me so sick. I am going to try and stick with tea today, and maybe a protein smoothie for lunch. Solids and I are definitely not getting along.
My good friend is flying here for the weekend. She arrives this evening, and will go home on Tuesday evening. She is my voice of reason so I am hopeful she will help me figure out a few thing. Plus, I haven't seen her in 2 years, so it will be great to just SEE her.
We weren't the perfect couple....but I never thought we would be here.