I am really struggling this year to be in some sort of a good place. At the root....this is on me. I have a habit of looking too far ahead, and not actually seeing what is in front of me. So in my mind, we are supposed to be moving (or already moved!). In my head, I am decorating our new-to-us house for the holidays, and settling into our new life. But in body, this is not the reality. So I am making myself sad about it.
And this whole husband gone thing.....bleck. Sure, it is nice to have the bed all to myself, so all three of my cats can come and cuddle, and I can sleep diagonally on the bed. And I really don't miss picking up the trail of socks that he leaves. But I do miss his presence....and all the little things that were "his" job.....like dealing with the clogged toilet (ICK!!!!)
But I do want to take a minute to honor what is in front of me....because, it actually is kind of nice.
Say what you will about the moodiness of a pre-teen girl.....my kid isn't there (yet!). She has been trying EXTRA hard to help out with random things. She has tried to help Bossy with his homework, and setting the dinner table without me asking. She comes up to me at various times and asks if I need anything. She puts groceries away, and was so super excited that I put flannel sheets on her bed. She is really stepping up to the plate to help out while Dad is gone, and I need that 2nd in command help!!
She loves to write and draw, and Sunday....inspiration struck! This kid wrote a murder mystery story....for almost 5 hrs. By hand. Pages and pages. Not for an assignment. Not for a contest. Just because she had an idea in her head and wanted to get it on paper. Gosh I love that kid.
I so underestimate him sometimes. He really is coming into his own. We spent a weekend running and running and running all over the place. Four events from Friday evening through Sunday afternoon. He was active and engaged. No big meltdowns. Yes, we had a few moments of anxiety...but we rallied and it all worked out. He is really excited to receive his 2nd Class rank in Scouts this week, and his first merit badge! And when he spoke to Dad on the phone the other night, he said "I am sorry you are going to miss it." And while I was working on decorations for the scout holiday party (I am still not sure how I got put in charge of that!!), he came over and gave me the sweetest little kiss. Melt your heart.
We are not particularly close to our neighbors. The usual "hi" and chit-chat. But a few have come over to check on us since G-man left. One offered to help me with the Christmas Tree if we were putting one up (we didn't put up a big, live one. Just a small, artificial one this year). Snow is coming, and several have offered to help with that mess. And I know that if something breaks....there are a few that I can go ask for help from, and they would be more to happy to help if they can.
I have lamented about the problems I have at work, and those haven't changed. But the women I work with are so great...and always have been. They are always asking about the house, the kids, etc. But what is really making me feel good is when I do "what I do"....they have ALL said to me at one point or another...."What are we going to do when you leave???" I typically answer, well....you will have Mysti 2.0 and you will be fine. And the response I get is "No...you are just YOU and you do it ALL....no one can do it the way you can." Now, I full well know that I am not indispensable. But it is nice to hear that they think I am.