Another Dream Post

Periodically, I talk about a dream I had, and what it means.  My go-to site for dream interpretation is dreammoods.com.  I fully believe that what your mind manifests in your sleep is a direct reflection of what you have going on internally, but maybe haven't admitted to yourself.  

For many years, I couldn't remember my dreams.  Even now, there are only snippets I remember.  And some of them just leave me saying "huh????"  Recently, I had a dream that I looked up the key elements and wanted to share their meaning, and my thoughts on the subject (I deleted some of the interpretation if it had an "alternative" meaning that didn't really go with the flow of things). 

• Stoplight: To see a stoplight in your dream suggests that you feel you are being held back from pursuing your goals. Your forward progress is being controlled by someone or by some outside forces. In other words, you are not in control of your own life.
• Snow (this one had lots of meanings, so I picked a few key points, and no, it didn't have to do with the insane amount of snow we have had this winter!): To see snow in your dream signifies your inhibitions, unexpressed emotions and feelings of frigidity. Alternatively, snow means that you are feeling indifferent, alone and neglected.  If you are driving in the snow, then it means that you need to be extra cautious about how your approach your goals.To dream that you find something in the snow suggests that you are exploring and accessing your unused potential, abilities, and talents. You have uncovered some hidden talent and ability within yourself. It may also refers to a need to forgive
• Library: To see a library in your dream symbolizes the knowledge you have accumulated over the years.

 So, what do we take from all of this....

There is something holding me back.  I have the ability and the knowledge to move forward, but I feel outside forces are not allowing it.  But for a very long time I have felt that despite any efforts, I just keep spinning my wheels. 

Therefore, something has to majorily change. There are a few goals that I have struggled with, and all of them need a major kick in the pants.

• Debt - I never claimed we were gazelle intense.  However, I know that we can do better.  There have certainly been situations in the past few years that we had no control over.  But some choices were just that....choices.
• Work - Still trying to find another position.  But convincing someone, based on a piece of paper, to give you a shot at something that you have experience in, but wasn't you primary focus is hard.  There may be more I need to do to make this work.
• Weight - I don't feel good.  I know it is directly related to my weight.  

All of these things are very interconnected.  I get frustrated in one area, and I take it out in another area. I am the force holding me back.  I just don't know how to change it successfully.   

I will say this....I am burnt out.  I am tired of failure.  And right now, there is a very high chance of a backslide, just because I feel like I need to do SOMETHING that will make me feel better and give me something to "live" for (don't take it as dramatically as it sounds).  When you surround yourself with things you associate with failure, it is hard to get out of the failure mindset.  So, some of that may change.

That may mean some decisions that aren't popular.  But I am running out of ideas.  All around me, everything I see....my home, my work environment, my clothes, the food I eat.....just reminds me of failure.  It isn't healthy.  So somethings may change.

I normally don't delete comments, as everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if it is different from mine.  But seriously, if you are a commenter who only comes out of the wood works to tell me about my bad choices or how rotten you think something is....either keep it to yourself, or risk that I will delete it.  I am not up for it, and if you get your jollies from kicking a gal when she is down....then I just feel sad for you.