Monday, January 28, 2013

Taking Responsibility

On Friday morning, Sassy broke Bossy's Tablet, that Santa brought him.

Livid doesn't even begin to touch the level of anger I felt.  And demonstrated.

Sassy, while I love her, is a space cadet.  She tends to live in her own floaty world, and doesn't pay as much attention as she should to the goings on around her.  She frequently walks into things, knocks things over, etc.  We keep telling her she needs to pay attention to her surroundings.

So, Friday morning.....Bossy was connected to his feeding tube, so he asked his sister to hand him his tablet.  Tablets are kept in cases, which are kept in a basket, across the room from where he was.  His loving sister said sure.

Except, she was playing on hers, and had her earbuds in.  Instead of putting her stuff down to focus on what she needed to do, she attempted to juggle it all.  And then something on the tv caught her eye, so now she is watching the tv too.  And then....

CRASH.

His tablet fell to the floor.  We hoped that MAYBE it survived.  The back popped off, and another piece came off.  MAYBE we could put it back together and it would be ok.  Not so much....

She lost her tablet privileges for 1 week, and she needs to work off the money to replace his tablet.  We have made a list of "extra" chores and a dollar value for each one.  She has until the end of February to earn the money to pay us back for the replacement. We aren't going out of our way to pick gross and terrible chores, but she is less than thrilled with some of the chores.

At first she was going to take the money out of her piggy bank.  We said no....90% of the money in the piggy bank came from years of Grandparents feeding the piggy when the visited....misc change we put in there....some birthday money.  NO.  She did nothing to earn that money, and her piggy is a fat, full piggy.  The money to replace the tablet wouldn't even phase her.

I am ticked that we had to buy another tablet.  We had it for 1 month!!!  But Bossy didn't do anything, and it isn't fair that his is gone.  He can use his sister's while we wait for the new one. 

Maybe now Sassy will understand that you have to pay attention to what you are doing!

20 comments:

  1. Is there any insurance on them? My youngest is the same way and did eventually outgrow it but spent many days working for extra money, losing the right to a belonging and yes grounded to the end of the world

    Good call on the piggy bank she would have never learned the lesson plus your showing her that objects have value and should be respected

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    1. We bought the tablet from a wholesale site, so no insurance. We called around to get it fixed, but we were told that either 1) they didn't fix items that weren't purchased with them, or 2) it is more costly to fix than to replace.

      It means alot that my Mentor thinks we did the right thing!

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  2. Wow - you know... accidents happen. And she's just a kid.

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    1. I know you'll hate that comment, so let me elaborate. When you buy something like that for kids, you have to have the plan that goes with it for the inevitable breakage. One of my kids has a laptop and of course it came with a plan. Good thing, because one of his friends slammed a hand in it right away and broke it. Thankfully the manufacturer sent someone out to replace the screen right away.

      Less to do with electronics but more on the topic, another kid ruined my hair-cutting scissors with fabric and yarn, even though he knew we had a dozen other pair of scissors for those purposes. I had him buy me another pair, but only because they cost $8 and he had well over 10x that. It just sounds like a tablet is the kind of expense difficult for a young kid to shoulder. (Especially if you won't let her use some of the money she already has.)

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    2. I thought this sounded especially harsh as well. Haven't you ever accidentally dropped/broken something? I sure have.

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    3. This is the 2nd one she has broken. The first one she stepped on.

      Accidents do happen. And when something accidentally gets broken, we deal with it. However, now that she has broken 2...and it was because she wasn't paying attention to what she was doing....it is her responsibility.

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    4. And the cost for the replacement is $75....it isn't hundreds.

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  3. I'd have her do the chores & make her pay... she broke it, she replaces it. With everything going on will you be able to afford to replace the tablet? Poor kid.. he must be so heartbroken. :(

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    1. Afford? It was $75, so not the end of the world. Not that we really had it...but we felt it wasn't Bossy's fault and why should he suffer. He actually is handling it better than expected.

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  4. I wholeheartedly think that you did the right thing.

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  5. Technically it was an accident, I don't think she would do something like that on purpose BUT yes she needs to learn so I think you did the right thing...

    What brand is it? how bad is the damage? a lot of people buy broken tablets on eBay for parts, also some places will fix them, look on craigslist.

    HS

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  6. yup. she should pay to replace it.
    I think she should also lose the privilege to use hers while she is earning the money--and while Bossy plays with it. Really, not the end of the world, but should certainly help her learn the lesson. Just a thought.

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  7. I agree with what you did as well. I have made my kiddos pay for more expensive things than this, too. Yes, accidents happen, but someone has to pay for a replacement even as an adult. Gross negligence in the workplace can get you in hot water - and most of the time, it is an accident.

    It's a life lesson. You learn and move on.

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  8. Definitely not too harsh, Misti. You are doing the right thing. How will she learn to pay attention unless she has to pay for the consequences of not paying attention. And taking the money from the piggy bank wouldn't begin to teach her anything.

    I've gone the "let's take the money from your savings account" route and my kids learned NOTHING. You're doing the right thing.

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  9. I agree not only with you having her replace it (to teach her the value of it and how to respect others' stuff) but the reasoning for not letting her pay out of her piggy bank. I honestly think that's GREAT parenting on your part. Bravo.

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  10. I agree she should learn that actions or irresponsibility can have consequences. You were not harsh at all.

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  11. Personally, I would take the fact that she's broken two tablets so far as a sign that she's not mature enough/ready to have one. I would give her tablet to Bossy. If she wants to save up for another one, we'd have a long conversation about whether she's ready.

    That way, you're out no money, & it's up to her to determine the next course of action, and there's a consequence for her behavior that matches what happened (i.e. she's not being responsible, she lost the privilege of having a tablet.)

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  12. I'm with Hawaii Planner.....she is not mature enough(what is she? 10?)to be responsible for fragile electronics. Personally, I think our society gives way too much in the way of electronics to children way too young to handle them.

    Making there be consequences to actions tho is the right thing to do and you did well on that.

    But if you set up a scenario(by giving her a fragile toy when she already had a track record of being irresponsible with them), then all the fault lies not at Sassy's feet here.
    I'd have taken her tablet, given it to Bossy immediately(making things right for him)and had a long talk, privately at a later time, with her about whether her having this kind of toy is right just now.

    And if you decide to let her have another one(and put her into a situation where she might "fail" again), I'd think that making you responsible for half the cost on the replacement one and any more you may have to buy due to her not being grown up enough to take care of "fragile things" come out of your personal fun money.

    Be the role model here.

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  13. Well, hopefully the paying for the new tablet will be enough to make her realize the value of it... but I think she shouldnt get the tablet back until the broken one is replaced. She has to understand the value of things, and one week just seems very light; also, will that be 1 week bossy doesnt get to play with a tablet? I'd be very troubled if that was the second one... I think I would've stopped at one, considering it is a tablet. Gotten her some books she can toss and step on instead.

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