Thursday, September 13, 2012
The last of this subject....
When I started this blog....I stuck to finance. Over time, I have branched out and shared a little more about my personal life. I figured....that is what I like to read....so there must be others who like to read that stuff also.
Realizing that I was opening myself up to criticism, I attempted to edit some of what I shared. The fall out of that mode of thinking presented itself to wide criticism based on what I said...even though there was more to the story.
Which brings us to....PTA.
I have a feeling that many of you seem to think that PTA takes 20 hrs a week of my time. That I am slaving away at this. That this volunteer program takes the place of spending time with my family, takes the place of work responsibilities, and has the tendency to be all consuming.
Like many other things....the start of something tends to be a project in itself. And with the start of school, there are alot of start of year action items. So right now...I am very busy. But it settles down for awhile.....then it gets busy....and it settles down.
I stated in a comment yesterday that this will be my last year at this level of involvement. At least for a while. Next year I plan to still be a member. Attend the monthly meeting. Maybe volunteer for ONE event. But no...I will not be on the board.....I will not be co-chairing events. My kids will be at a new school at that point, and I will need to learn the lay of the land.
Many of you have a negative view of the PTA because your personal experience has been less than positive. Many of you stated PTA benefits the children of the people in charge. Or that it is for people with alot of time on their hands.
If everyone sat back and said "someone else can do it" then I guarantee no one would do it. Pass the buck. Let someone else worry about that. BE THE CHANGE.
Someone has to be the vehicle to get things done. And the most successful organization are those that not only have active participants....but they foster a sense that this is important....and this is why you should be involved. The idea is....show people what is possible....get them involved.
And then over time....that small group of people gets larger.
This type of work isn't for everyone...and I am not saying that everyone should run out and do this. But unless you have ever tried, how do you know it isn't for you?
I am guessing that most of you have NO IDEA how all of this actually works. Just like I have no idea how some of the things you are involved in actually work. But I would also bet that if you saw some of the amazing things we do...you would think WOW.
I am a parent. I have a teaching degree. This is what I do. I am not burnt out. My children are not neglected (although my dishes are some days!). My husband is fine with it. My kids love saying "my mom did THAT." I love meeting the parents, and I love knowing the teachers on a first name basis.
So...that said. I will not be discussing this topic anymore. It is a sore spot for me when people don't see the value in what I do. And while I shouldn't need anyone's approval....I also don't need to hear the negatives either. I am proud of this....end of story.
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Personally I think it is great that you are involved in your kids' school. I wish more parents would step up and take leadership and quit sitting back and complaining. I am sorry that people are reacting negatively to your involvement in PTA. I hate that we have to censor our blogs because of a few negative people. Why can't people just keep their mouths shut when they don't know the whole story?
ReplyDeleteNegative comments are part of the game. It just struck a chord with me yesterday how many people were negative. I am trying to find the positives....I live in a land of negatives.
DeleteI never comment on blogs, but really wanted to say something on this. For the first time, I'm volunteering in a lot of my older daughter's activities, and PTA is one of them. Like you, I hear a lot of comments from others with different experiences, and honestly? I'm not a PTA person (they needed board members, so I stepped up). Your posts on PTA were one of the things that made me appreciate everything that goes into it AND made me think to finally do something. Ours has a goal of getting connection this year, so it was a great time to start.
ReplyDeleteSo, while I understand not wanting to talk about it anymore, I wanted to let you know that I think you are providing a service, ESPECIALLY for people who have had negative or lackluster experiences with their PTA. AND you provided a realistic view of what might happen for those of us just starting out :D.
Thanks for commenting. I am so glad that you were inspired to try it out. Like I said, it isn't for everyone. And even if you don't continue with the activity, you will at least know what goes into making it run.
DeleteIt is not for the faint of heart!!! ;)
I haven't read any of the comments that you're talking about (I usually read your posts on my Google reader).
ReplyDeleteI think you're amazing for your participation in PTA. While I favor PTO over PTA, that's really irrelevant. Your help allows the teachers, principles and staff to do so many more things than they would ever be able to do otherwise. It was always sad for me to see so few people offering to do more for their school.
It's very similar to a conversation I had just last night about workers in the church. I can remember my uncle when I was a kid talking about how the same five or six people were 'running' the church, but now as an adult, I can see that if those people weren't doing something, nothing would have gotten done! It's the same with any church or school I guess. Most people expect to just show up and reap the benefits of others hard work.
Thanks! It is sad how few people offer to help out. We tried something new this year, and so far we have had some good feedback.
DeleteAnd yes...churches have similar experiences (or at least so I have been told by my friends who are active there). My girlfriend was on every committee under the sun. And she did burn out.
It sucks you have to explain your stance on this, but as you said, this blog isnt all numbers and symbols. I'd hate to see you stop talking about PTA, especially if it's something that happens and is on your mind a lot. We all do things others disagree or dont appreciate as we may (like my parents, their debt or my other job which I whine so much about, but love anyway). So do your thing. It is your blog, not everyone elses', right?
ReplyDeleteI am sure that PTA will sneak in here once and awhile. And I am not going to only talk about things that people will Rah Rah Rah about. I am ok with disagreements. But this one is a sore spot for me.
DeleteGood for you!! :) If we don't stay involved in all aspects of our children's lives, including education, who will?! It's a season of life... I think it's great that you stick to it & don't take the "easy way out"!
ReplyDeleteI will back off some....but I can't imagine NOT being involved. Thanks!
DeleteI am not a fan of PTA (mostly due to people who ran it in our schools)but this is your life Mysti and people don't need to criticize it. So you criticize that I teach dance or go to church? No...I can be very over involved and tired and frustrated, you don't harp on me about it, because as a busy person you know that this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteBusy people know these things go in waves. And we may want to pull our hair out....but we do it because we love it.
DeleteI respect that some people were angling that I one can burn out. But I didn't appreciate the tone that I need to focus on my family instead.
I was never active in the PTA --- paid the dues, would send something for bake sales and would work a shift at the winter carnival. But that's it. I used to laugh that I was lousy on long term commitments, but if you needed a big project with a short term commitment, I was your girl.
ReplyDeleteThere's a LOT of value in the PTA -- whether its making sure the teachers feel appreciated, helping fund extra books in the library, working for new playground equipment.... in our school system the PTA actually is the one that provides school supplies for families that just can't afford it.
I think volunteerism is important, and likely most people who are hyper critical are those that aren't doing something to help or serve others themselves. Go with what makes you happy, but maybe just maybe ignore those jerks who criticize and realize you may inspire someone else to DO something!
But PTA NEEDS those people who bake stuff, and work 2 hrs at the carnival. If we can get more of those people...it lessens the the load for us all.
DeleteI am not by any means saying that someone has to run the PTA. But when everyone says "let someone else do it," we get no where.
So thank you for your rice krispie treats, and for collecting tickets at the carnival!!!
I think this is the first post I have ever read in which you say something positive about PTA. When you talk about PTA, you sound extremely frustrated. (That is how it reads to me, at any rate.)
ReplyDeleteSo, I don't think people are trying to be negative. I think they are trying to be helpful by pointing out that it's OK to give it up if it is just isn't working for you.
I don't see the "negative" part that you all talk about. I see where sometimes I have a ton to do. I see frustration that there are 2-4 of us that are the "go to" people, but there are 10x that like to complain about something like the color of the paper we used.
DeleteBut I don't see where I am stating it isn't working for me or that I don't enjoy it.
I just went back and read your original post and all the comments to see if I missed something. A fair reading of your post (I think) is that you were very tired, had a massive headache that interfered with your sleep and felt lousy. Some of the things we do we have to do--work, prepare dinner, and deal with husbands and kids. The PTA stands out in your post as something you were doing that maybe you could drop if you were feeling overwhelmed. So often you seem to complain about the late hours, lack of support and time commitment for the PTA--if you really love it, then by all means stick with it. It is just hard to tell from your posts whether you value it or hate it.
ReplyDeleteYour assessment of the situation (headache, tired, etc) is totally correct.
DeleteI did state that I had a board meeting, and that meeting produced work...but I didn't say I was unhappy about it. Just that it had a quick turn around, and when you aren't feeling well...anything quick turn around is going to be a bigger deal.
I went back through my posts about PTA....and most of them are more stating that I had things to do, and yes...."complaining" if you will about lack of help. But that lack of help is sort of what I have gotten at before. I posted Do You Volunteer? a few months ago, where I stated all the great things. And a frustration is that everyone wants the activities, but few do the work.
I don't think I complain about the late hours....sometimes I may say I was up late, and boy am I tired....but some of my best late nights are sitting at someone's house, pulling it all together.
Last fall we had an outer space theme, and we made all the teachers into "aliens" and "space people". We had a blast designing their outfits (think Jane Jetson)...some had glittered stillettos.....some had "shabooties." It was a great time. I went to bed at 2am....and it sucked getting up in the morning. But when we put all the decor up...and the teachers and kids saw it all for the first time....it was AMAZING.
I really think you should keep posting on this topic! The blog is a record of your life, among other things. So much work and effort goes into the PTA...it's a big part of your story. You might really like to remember those times when your kids are older and past that stage. Why should you have to censor it?
ReplyDeleteI don't volunteer on PTA partly because I don't feel up to the job, in terms of organisation/interpersonal skills. But I do know and appreciate how much hard work it is. I silently admire all the people at our school who do it and wish I could get myself organised to participate!
Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and say don't stop talking about this topic. Actually I'm going to suggest you take a different approach.
ReplyDeleteOk I participate on and off in the equivalent of my kids' PTA. It's a private school and it's called the HRPA (HomeRoom Parents Association). Basically if you're a Room Mom/Dad you're part of this. I take a one year on, one year off approach.
Let me tell you something. It's exhausting. And it is frustrating. But it is overwhelmingly rewarding. This year is an off year for me and I can't believe how much more relaxed I am while at the same time, totally out of the loop. It's crazy
Anyways my suggestion. You are seriously passionate about this. Seriously. And that's awesome. So I would go ahead and not stop talking about it but make it an issue you talk about thoughtfully.
In other words, make sure when you talk about PTA it's not to vent because you're exhausted and achy. Wait until you're not tired and achy and then talk about what PTA aspects are frustrating and what can be done to help but in a positive way.
I take this approach when tackling single parent household issues. Single parenthood is a mine field when it comes to blogging. Trolls flock to those things in unbelievable numbers. So I try to write my single parent posts in a very thought out way. I avoid the gut reaction as much as possible. Some times I just can't and I'm broken down and let it out but most times I step back and mull it over and present it carefully and that seems to really work. Think about it!
I pretty much think you are freakin' awesome that you do the PTA thing! Your kids will always remember how you cared enough to get involved.
ReplyDelete