Now that my temper tantrum is over....it is time to put on my big girl panties and pick myself up.
I am having to readjust my perspective. I don't want to...but for the sake of sanity....I have to. I write these goals that are lofty, yet seem reasonable. I have plans on paper that just don't work. I am unrealistic about some of our circumstances.
So it is time to become realistic.
- Getting out of consumer debt by my 40th birthday.....probably not going to happen.
- Upgrading furniture/electronics...not happening.
- Food...it is for nourishment. Someday it will be about pleasure again, but it is really about nourishment.
- I need to talk to G-man about some resentments I am harboring....
I am not always going to like it. But I am a grown up. And it is time to suck it up.
There are actually 2 parts to all of this....one is the financial part. The other is the ME part. ME...in terms of constant anxiety, and self sacrifice to the point where I just want to do a 180 and be a princess for awhile. ME, in terms of spirituality in my life, and finding out who I am.
I am not happy about any aspect of my life. And in order for anything to work....I need to find it.
I think you will see some changes around here soon.....
Hang in there, Mysti. This part - "I am not happy about any aspect of my life" - is exactly where I am right now. I stuck my neck out to form some goals earlier in the year and it looks like I won't be meeting a single one of them. I'm exhausted and stressed and freaking out all the time.
ReplyDeleteI think 2012 is going to be a better year for both of us. Not because I'm some Pollyanna who thinks positive all the time, but because things HAVE to get better at some point, right? Hug to you - I hope you get some relief soon.
I'm sorry Mysti, keep your head up.
ReplyDeleteThe good thing about hitting rock bottom is now there's nowhere else to go but up.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about debt right now, let it be there for now. Just make minimum payments on all accounts and keep it in good standing.
As far as furniture and electronics go, make a plan and decide what you really 'need'. In a few months you should be getting a tax refund, use some of that money to get the things you need.
Food is always a pleasure to me! I can live on rice and beans, cheap and delicious... unless you crave things like lobster or filet mignon I think you can make food enjoyable and a pleasure.
Not sure what you mean about G-man resentments but I hope it's nothing serious, I know you two can work things out.
Another part of your plan should be getting that new job. You can use more income right now so make that your priority, that should be your only goal right now, finding a better job.
Sending you good luck, best wishes, etc!
HS
I will help you, I don't know how but I will. You have a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes to wear, wonderful, adorable kids, and so you don't get out by 40, I tried to get out by 50 and I am now 53, I won't get out for a few more years. I am fine. (well almost fine) But I did go through weeks and months feeling just like you, and I am sure I will have more moments just like yours. Will you pick me up? Go get yourself a latte, yes spend the money and readjust. It is OKAY!
ReplyDeleteSorry things are so hard right now. You have had so many things to contend with. It is too bad you have to get a car loan, but such is life. I guess the good news is that you obviously make a substantial amount of money to be able to get the financing. One good thing right?
ReplyDeleteOh Mysti I agree with Kim. I will help, I don't know how but I will. I know you are in a rough place right now and you need to make decisions for yourself and for your kids. To say you had a rough year is an understatement.
ReplyDeleteYou have my email and know I am always here.
Judy
I am sorry that this is a difficult time for you. I hope it all gets better for you very soon. Take care of YOU~
ReplyDeleteOh Mysti - I feel your pain. And I will be here, right beside Kim and Judy. I would like be debt free by the time I am 50. So not going to happen. I have resigned myself to just getting by. But once I accepted it, I was okay. One day at a time. You can do this.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're struggling. You have so much on your plate. What is one of your favorite indulgences? An afternoon at home by yourself with a bath, a book, and a cupcake? A latte with a friend in a coffee shop? Is it possible to treat yourself to a small but fun treat so you can regroup and set a new plan for yourself? It's okay to admit that the plans you originally laid yout aren't going to happen.
ReplyDelete((hugs)) it's OK to change your plan, you've been through a helluva year that would take it's toll on anyone! Just pay the minimums on everything while you work out your new plan, and I think a treat is in order here, some time out for yourself, whatever makes you feel good,a massage? go out for dinner? an outing with the kids? ... whatever it is that you like to do.
ReplyDeleteThe ladies have said pretty much everything that needed to be said, and HS took the words from my mouth; once you have hit the bottom, the only way left is up. Hang in there, remake your plans, and be careful with anger. It's dangerous when under pressure.
ReplyDeleteWish you the best! We'll be here for you, even if all we can do is cheer on.
I'll help you, I do not know how, but I will. Do you have a roof over their head, food, clothes to wear, a beautiful, beautiful children, and therefore will not be treated with 40, I tried to run away from 50 and 53 now, I can not get out a few more years. I'm fine. (Well almost out) But I do not go through the weeks and months, as you know, and I'm sure I have more moments like businesses. Do you want me? Go grab a latte, yes, money, and adjust. It 'ok!
ReplyDeleteHi Mysti - I'm new to commenting here but not new to reading your blog. Time to make my voice heard. We can all relate in one way or another to your situation. The good news is you are young! AND things will get better, maybe not soon, but they will get better. Kim is 53 and working herself out of debt, I am 55 and still working my way out of debt. I raised my daughter on one income (MINE) and it was TOUGH!! But she's 21 now, still at home, still in university but paying her own way, and I CAN see the light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteBelieve in yourself Mysti - you will make it, I know you will. You have such spirit and such support.
Jane
I so wish I could take you out for a yummy lunch and a big Dr Pepper:) May you be guided as you make your new plans...that is my hope and prayer...
ReplyDeleteOh Mysti! I hope you know how many people are out there pulling for you. And you know what...it's okay to just survive for a while. I see nothing wrong with paying the minimums for a while as you deal with this thing called life. Not everything can be boiled down to nickels and dimes....your sanity especially. Along with Kim & Rhitter, I'll be joining the Half-Century Club in about 13 months with TONS of debt, but I'm okay with that. (((Hugs))) and take special care of Mysti for a bit.
ReplyDelete