turn them into lemon-scented furniture polish and CLEAN!
Cleaning is my cathartic release. So this afternoon when I get home....I am going to put on my MP3 player, and scrub and scrub and scrub. Clean home....clean mind.
As CJ so astutely noted...the dates that I have in August that are hard for me impact how much I can handle.
Today is August 10. Today was the day that my water broke with Bossy (Sassy was still ok), although I didn't know it at the time. It wasn't until August 12 that I found out that is what happened. So today is an important day in the history of Bossy and Sassy. The clock started for them today on if they would make it. On August 12, when I was admitted to the hospital....they were given zero percent chance of survival if they were born then.
So today weighs heavily on my mind. If I had known that my water broke...would things have gone easier for them. And for us. Guilt is a hard thing to get over.
Next week is the anniversary of the death of my twin daughters (yes...I had 2 sets of twins).
The week after that leads up to Bossy and Sassy's birthday, which is bittersweet for me.
August is overwhelming for me....So I am going to clean and clean and clean....and maybe when I am done I will have cleared my head.