Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The MAYBE Game Changing News

Once again, we are trying to relocate.  A position has opened in our office of choice, and G-man submitted his application.  I am very proud of him....he asked for help, which is hard for him to do.  He asked several high up management people to look at it, and they made a few suggestions, but were encouraging and felt he had a very strong application.

We have been trying to move since 2005. 

It is hard to not get excited.  It has been about 2 years since the last job opened.  We both really would love a fresh start.  The cost of living there is WAY less than here.  We could get a house 2x a large for the same money (not saying we would do that...but that is the housing market there).  Gas, food, taxes...all less expensive.  Additionally, we would be close to my parents.  While there are some definite issues with this....the fact remains that they are in failing health, and it would be so much better if I was there to oversee things.  The kids would be thrilled to see them more often, and I know they feel the same.

The way this process works....he submits the application, then we have to wait 4-6 weeks to find out if he made the first cut, and then the application is forwarded to the field office.  IF they offer him the job, he has 90 days to report.  If our house hasn't sold, the kids and I would stay back until it did sell.

Ideally, he would get a higher pay grade, even though the pay might actually stay the same.  There is a chance that they can offer him LESS....in the hopes that he get back where he was in a year.  This would be our way into the office....but a huge pay cut.  Like $15k, plus the loss of his second job and my job (until we can get that squared away).  Between it all....it is a cut of 40k until I have a job that either takes the place of his second job, and my job....or we both have part time work.

My head is already thinking into overdrive.

1)  Selling our house.  There are some repairs we will have to do....we are estimating $1500.  *sigh*  Plus I am very concerned about the housing market and not getting enough for our house to cover the mortgage and commission.  There is a house for sale around the corner....and if ours sold for what they are asking...we would barely...BARELY squeak by.

2)  The buyers.  We already know we have to eek out every cent.  I am sure they will expect us to pay their closing fees.  Not sure we can do that.  That could be a deal breaker.  We have talked about renting the house, but not sure we would get enough to cover our mortgage and taxes.

3)  A new house.  We won't have a downpayment.  See #1 and #2.  I am still worrying about paying off what we need to, just to get out of the current house.  Let alone into a new house.  We could rent...lose the tax write off and probably owe mega taxes, or have so much taken out of our checks that we are living on WAY WAY less.

4)  The move.  We pay for it.  Even with doing it ourselves, it will still be a few grand.

5)  Pay cut.  UGH....I can't even think about this one.

On the flip side....we could live with my parents if we had to.  But we can't afford to permanently live in that area.  But we have to sign the kids up for school.  I really don't want to move and start the kids in school, and then have to switch schools AGAIN.   That would be 4 elementary schools in 5 years.  We would pay my parents something toward rent, food, utilities.  It would be less than what we are paying now, which would allow us to speed up our debt repayment (in theory). 

So now...we are debating on putting debt repayment on as much hold as possible and hoard cash.  The sad fact is....it isn't like there is much in the budget for repayment anyway (we are almost at a point of giving up our individual counseling and couples counseling to save the $250 a month).  The medical costs, plus the increase in my student loan....we are basically at a zero balance budget, but paying NOTHING extra to anyone.

If we move, I will have to find a new job....so for a period of time...we will be operating on ALOT less money.  Not sure how all of this will work.  I know I wouldn't have a job with as much flexibility as I have now.  But I looked at Career Builder, just to see what was there...and there was one full time job that peaked my interest.  If my parents are there, I would have some babysitting help.

Again, all of this is speculative.

Now I am scared and excited, and overwhelmed, and trying to keep positive.  I have no idea what to do.  If we hoard cash and he doesn't get the job....at least we have money.  If he does get the job...then we have to figure out all the above issues.

These are the times that I think back to when we moved to CT in 2000.  I didn't have a job.  I was in graduate school.  G-man had put in for a transfer but we didn't know when that would happen.  But at 24 years old....I had the optimistic attitude that it was ALL possible.  We moved, I found a job (actually 2).  We rented our apartment for almost 2 years....bought a house....had some kids....

Now, it seems so much scarier.  So much more daunting.  SO much more at stake.  Our lives are so different now....not as easy to put it all in a U-haul and just go.

Any advice????


  1. Wow--this is a lot to think about all at once! Here is what comes to mind: I remember a while back that you seemed very angry with your parents for failing to call on your birthday. Are you sure the relationship is good enough that you want to be close by and that they would help with babysitting and that you might live with them for a while? Second,you could start talking with a realtor now about your house--just to get some ideas about price, length of time to sell etc. Third, is it really worth it to move (from a purely financial perspective) if you lose your job AND your husband takes a pay cut? You may want to run some numbers and think hard about this.... I think you are right to view all of this as scarier and more daunting than the move in 2000; now you are parents of children with special needs and there really IS more at stake. I hope he gets the job and wish you good luck as you try to decide what is best!

  2. that is a ton to think about for sure --- if you are truly wanting to do this move, I would totally hoard every penny - if it ends up that you aren't able to relocate, then you can throw that chunk on your next payment goal or in your EF. Good luck

  3. @Consuelo - my parents....yes....we have a hot/cold relationship. But I do know they love me, and they ADORE the kids. I am not worried about the babysitting. They will be more resistant to my involvement in their lives. However, in the past when the ignore me and then it turns out I was right....they have to eat crow. I said "wouldn't it just be easier to listen to me in the first place?" ;)

    The pay cut....The pay cut issue only really comes into play if he is offered the lower position. I was going to lose my job no matter what...but I am sure I can find something, even if it is the grocery store. I am not naive and think that finding a job will be easy, but I think it is do-able.

    In the long run, this is what we want. In the long run we want our kids raised in the South, and we want that pace of life.

    (good memory, by the way!!)

    @jpkittie - I am voting hoard money...G-man wants to wait until we know if he made the first cut, which he seems to think will only take a week or two (I think it will be closer to a month!)

  4. Wow, this could be a big game changer. Lots to think about. I don't have any advice, except to start preparing. Good luck!

  5. When you were younger you had more faith and less fear of the big old bad world. Now you have more people (kids) relying one you. But the main thing to concentrate on is that is worked out. This will too. Have faith work hard what will be will be. You are still young the kids are young, you are resilient. Go for it! Don't look back, forward, forward.

  6. gosh, your life is never easy is it??

    I think you have to look at the big picture. It may be hard at first, but if you moved there, and the cost of living is a lot less, then it would be best for the LONG term.

  7. @Niki - come on girl...you must have some advice???

    @Kim - We are looking forward. I spoke at length with my therapist about this, and she thinks that the good Karma bus is well overdue for a stop at my house.

    @Erica - nope...my life is never easy. You are right...LONG term this is best...but the short term is gonna hurt like hell.

  8. I hope it all works out, it sounds like it would be a good opportunity even though it might cost you some income in the short term.
    I'd just the minimum on everything and stash the cash right now. I wouldn't give up therapy, maybe reduce the number of visits but I think the couples counseling is still really important, especially if this move goes ahead.
    good luck!

  9. I say stash the cash...don't give up on therapy...and if you can stand it, maybe your parents would let you live there awhile to get a big chunk of debt paid off. Maybe you can earn your keep by cooking fabulous meals and keeping up gorgeous flower gardens in the yard:) I would let you live with me if you did that! Your kiddos could attend school for the full school year in the district that your parents live in...or even 2 years. Does the state you might move to have good programs/schools/aid for special needs kids and their families? That might be something to look in to before the move...

  10. @Louise - I am willing to give up my therapy...which will save about $80. Maybe cut couples in half, which would save another $40. G-man really needs his, so we may consider cuting that down to 2x a month as well.

    @Julie - long term at my parents is not a good option. The schools there are not as good for special ed as the area we really want (about 30 min away). Even if we did stay for 2 years...the kids would have to change schools at middle school, and then they would lose any socialization because they would be starting all over. As for paying off debt while at mom's...that is tempting....but doubtful that cooking and gardening would do it for them. ;)

    To all...we have been researching this move for 6 years....we know all about it. The schools, what area we would want. It just needs to all come together.

  11. That sounds great! I was nervous about moving back home to Iowa from Seattle, but it all fell into place with a few months of savings. The cost of living is amazing, too! Good luck on your own potential move! I'd start socking away money now: you can always apply it to debt if the job doesn't pan out.