(Warning....the Parental section....this is for real, people. This is really what I have to do before they come just to tone down the dysfunction to a managable level)
For the Parents:
1) Look for photos to print out and frame for the family wall of Dad with grandchildren (so I don't have to hear about how there are pictures of the other grandfather on the wall, and none of him). Bonus if I put some Mom photos up (there is one right now)
2) Scrub floors with vinegar (so I don't have to hear about how I "missed" a spot)
3) Buy "parent" snack food. If I don't have what they like in the house, they go buy it, and then some more junk. With my stress level, I can't deal with the extra stuff in the house and I will eat it and blow my weight loss. So at least this way I can control what is in the house.
4) Clear DVR. So when my dad decides he has to tape a re-run of NCIS, he doesn't erase something that I wanted. Never mind that it is MY house.....oh, and when he does tape stuff, he denies it, even when I can see the scheduled stuff.
1) Buy aluminum pans (now done....I wrote this post yesterday!)
2) Teach my husband that 24 oz is not a quart, and therefore, no...we do NOT have enough beer for the turkey brine.
3) Figure out the exact time that Bossy and I will be baking an apple pie, so he can stop asking me what TIME we will be doing it.
4) Finish hand made table runner (because yeah....I am really Martha Stewart; It is about 1/3 way done)
Lastly.....collapse from the sheer absurbity of all of this.